Wednesday, September 26, 2007


The Cost of Cheap Tomatoes

I got this email, and then I checked on Snopes and since they have it classified as "undetermined" as far as it's authenticity, and that has never Stopped Tony, I figured I better post this here.


This should make everyone think, be you Democrat, Republican or Independent.

From a California school teacher - - -

"As you listen to the news about the student protests over illegal immigration, there are some things that you should be aware of:

I am in charge of the English-as-a-second-language department at a large southern California high school which is designated a Title 1 school, meaning that its students average lower socioeconomic and income levels.

Most of the schools you are hearing about, South Gate High, Bell Gardens, Huntington Park, etc., where these students are protesting, are also Title 1 schools.

Title 1 schools are on the free breakfast and free lunch program. When I say free breakfast, I'm not talking a glass of milk and roll -- but a full breakfast and cereal bar with fruits and juices that would make a Marriott proud. The waste of this food is monumental, with trays and trays of it being dumped in the trash uneaten. (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

I estimate that well over 50% of these students are obese or at least moderately overweight. About 75% or more DO have cell phones. The school also provides day care centers for the unwed teenage pregnant girls (some as young as 13) so they can attend class without the inconvenience of having to arrange for baby- sitters or having family watch their kids.

I was ordered to spend $700,000 on my department or risk losing funding for the upcoming year even though there was little need for anything; my budget was already substantial.. I ended up buying new computers for the computer learning center, half of which, one month later, have been carved with graffiti by the appreciative students who obviously feel humbled and grateful to have a free education in America. (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

I have had to intervene several times for young and substitute teachers whose classes consist of many i illegal immigrant students here in the country less then 3 months who raised so much hell with the female teachers, calling them "Putas"..... .. whores, and throwing things that the teachers were in tears.

Free medical, free education, free food, day care etc., etc, etc. Is it any wonder they feel entitled to not only be in this country but to demand rights, privileges and entitlements?

To those who want to point out how much these illegal immigrants contribute to our society because they LIKE their gardener and housekeeper and they like to pay less for tomatoes: spend some time in the real world of illegal immigration and see the TRUE costs.

Higher insurance, medical facilities closing, higher medical costs, more crime, lower standards of education in our schools, overcrowding, new diseases etc., etc, etc. For me, I'll pay more for tomatoes.

We need to wake up. The guest worker program will be a disaster because we won't have the guts to enforce it.

Does anyone in their right mind really think they will voluntarily leave and return?

There are many hardworking Hispanic/American citizens that contribute to our country and many that I consider my true friends. We should encourage and accept those Hispanics who have done it the right and legal way.

It does, however, have everything to do with culture: A third-world culture that does not value education, that accepts children getting pregnant and dropping out of school by 15 and that refuses to assimilate, and an American culture that has become so weak and worried about "politically correctness" that we don't have the will to do anything about it.

If this makes your blood boil, as it did mine, forward this to everyone you know.

CHEAP LABOR? Isn't that what the whole immigration issue is about?

Business doesn't want to pay a decent wage.

Consumers don't want expensive produce.

Government will tell you Americans don't want the jobs.

But the bottom line is cheap labor. The phrase "cheap labor" is a myth, a farce, and a lie. There is no such thing as "cheap labor."

Take, for example, an illegal alien with a wife and five children. He takes a job for $5.00 or $6.00/hour. At that wage, with six dependents, he pays no income tax, yet at the end of the year, if he files an Income Tax Return, he gets an "earned income credit" of up to $3,200 free.

He qualifies for Section 8 housing and subsidized rent.

He qualifies for food stamps.

He qualifies for free (no deductible, no co-pay) health care.

His children get free breakfasts and lunches at school.

He requires bilingual teachers and books.

He qualifies for relief from high energy bills.

If they are or become, aged, blind or disabled, they qualify for SSI. Once qualified for SSI they can qualify for Medicare. All of this is at (our) taxpayer's expense.

He doesn't worry about car insurance, life insurance, or homeowners insurance.

Taxpayers provide Spanish language signs, bulletins and printed material.

He and his family receive the equivalent of $20.00 to $30.00/hour in benefits.

Working Americans are lucky to have $5.00 or $6.00/hour left after paying their bills and his.

The American taxpayers also pay for increased crime, graffiti and trash clean-up.



Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Phlegm and the Men who love it

After spending the last day and a half asleep and medicated, I no longer feel like I am about to die, I feel like I am about to drown.

My left lung has decided to become a swamp and I gurgle when I breathe.

That's right ladies and gentlemen, I have Pneumonia. The only symptom that I have left is a wet lung and a snotty nose, but it is nevertheless enough to make me want to stay in bed the rest of the week.

I see that daytime TV has not gotten any better since I graduated from college. As a matter of fact it may have gotten a touch worse.

I also seem to have been able to spend 500 bucks while asleep on the couch. Who knew brakes on a car were so expensive, and necessary?

I need a nap.

Monday, September 24, 2007


Lung Butter

I have caught the nastiest of all colds. My chest hurts, and my head is full of green goop, and I can't breathe. This makes for a long weekend with short bursts of sleep mixed in with over the counter cold meds which make me all fuzzy headed.

I hate being fucking sick.

I just coughed and a 1/2 pound of yellow green brown lung butter flew out and landed on my shirt.


I need to fucking go home and sleep for a day or two.

Friday, September 21, 2007


Roscoe has a HOME!!

I had a friend of mine walk into the day job this morning and he agreed to take Roscoe home!!

Thanks to everyone who voiced concern, and especially to the Bossman for paying the 400+ monies to get the little feller treated for all that ailed him!


Thursday, September 20, 2007


THANKS SUZI!...and Paz Vega

Suzi over at What it Schwas created a groovy pic to help Roscoe find a home!! Please someone open that cold dead heart of yours and let this little feller in!

Here is a gratuitous see through top shot of that hot girl Paz Vega, from Spanglish and 10 Items or Less...which by the way is my new favorite movie and I suggest everyone go but it so she and Morgan Freeman can get more money.

Hopefully hot chicks and cute puppies will get the job done for Roscoe's sake.

OH and Paintman I really hope you are being facetious when you said he looks like a dangerous "pitbull" I assure you he is not a pit. I have been around many 100's of pits, I know many breeders and he is not one of them....but thanks for putting that idea out there for the masses, so those on the edge will now fall to the no side. Do by chance work for Fox News?

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


Vaginas and Puppies

Yeah I know.

I worry to much about the reproductive organs that I don't have.

But really it isn't the vagina that I'm worried about it is the advertising of the products that are related to the keeping and well being of said vagina(s).

Today I am extremely concerned the the new Venus Razor with built in "soft petals" filled with slickum to make it possible to shave without the bothersome need for shaving lotion....

Not so bad, I think it is a good idea, right up until they show a hand pressing on the two wonderfully colored "soft petals". Does this remind anyone but me of the manual manipulation of the labia majora? I mean it really looks like someone fixing to get a closer look at the inner workings of the best place on earth!

Who is creating these ads and why do they continue to make things weird? I know everything used to be all penis shaped, but did we really have to do a 180 and make everything all vag-like and stuff?

Ok now on to the Puppies part! I need some serious help!!

almost 30 days ago a wonderful little dog jumped into my bosses car and refused to exit when given the proper commands. Being that my boss is the "Keeper of all Things Confused", (see me for examples, IE; my co-workers) He has taken it upon himself and through me to find a good and loving home for this little guy. He is currently residing at the Vet Hospital on Independence Ave, where he is undergoing treatment for a rough, yet curable case of mange.

While handling this little dog, I personally know that he is affable, loving, and seems to get along with anybody, I don't know how he will do with kids, because I don't have any, but he seems to be gentle enough to try him out for a spin. What I am looking for at this very moment, is someone who would fall in love with him enough to care for him forever....but I know that is a long shot. He is a mixed breed (read Mutt), 20-25 lbs male (Un-neutered) brown with black markings, dog. he didn't do a lot of barking, or whinnying in his short time with me...but he may have gotten over that I'm not sure. I do know that he is STARVING for human interaction and needs some love. He would make an outstanding pet, given the chance

If you have a place for him in your life, please leave me a comment, and a way to get in touch with you! I would much rather get him to a home rather than a shelter, but we are running out of time. All of his shots and treatment have been taken care of all we are asking is for a small adoption fee so the wing nuts who are looking to buy something they can kick around will be discouraged.

If this sounds like you leave me a comment, and a way to contact you and we'll get "Roscoe" some new digs with lots of love!

Monday, September 17, 2007


Wost excuse ever

I think having one of us die is the worst excuse ever to get together for a blog party.

But then I think that Greg would have not wanted it any other way.

Tonight we said our goodbyes to Greg Beck, AKA Death's Door. We had to because if he is getting his wish tomorrow well I believe his words were "I'm cookin' bitches!"

After we spent our time in the viewing area crying and laughing and telling stories, I introduced my self to "The Sista" and when I said "Hi I'm Nightmare" Her eyes got real big and she gave me a big hug (must be a Beck family tradition) and after I gave her a stack of the Memorial stickers that Frog PJ's made for me, I was told to stand right where I was and off she went to get The Brother.

I was honored to meet the older brother of Greg, and he had much the same reaction to my name as the Sista, Which made me and Bouby tear up like a couple of sissy's at Boys Town. We had a nice chat, and then I met the Mother. She was awesome and was keeping it together way better then I did.

After meeting the family I, and many like me, needed a drink so we retired to Harry's country club where we gave Greg the best wake a bunch of non-Irish, white people could do for a large black man.


I hope you are in heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead.
Irish Proverb.

My hearts and prayers go out to Greg's family, friends, casual acquaintances, and anyone else* he may have touched in his short but colorful tenure here on this plan of existence.

*-Except those motherfuckers he had to toss out of any bar, it was too your fault and you should know better.

Godspeed My Friend.

Sunday, September 16, 2007


Catholic Asshats and the ex- Catholics who hate them.

Father Jonathan Morris is my new punching bag.

I just watched this Catholic, over religious, ass hat, priest, tell the world from Rome, that he is outraged that Kathy Griffin was selling her soul for a bowl of porridge because of her speech , after winning an Emmy for her crazy show “The D-list”. She said,

“A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus,” an exultant Griffin said, holding up her statuette. “Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now.”

I laughed my ass off when I saw the clip on Fox Sunday morning cocksuckers, they were all very offended, even though they never seem to get offended by showing the American public the gruesome war video, or when they tell lies or just make shit up for ratings. We don’t even get to see the speech live, it was pre taped on Tuesday, but since I’m not gay, I didn’t hear about it until this morning…sorry older brother, but it is true, you’re gay I’m not, you watch the Emmy’s, I do not…there is a football game on.

I really wish the fucking world would just shut the fuck up, and learn to have a fucking sense of humor. I can’t believe that shit assed, pencil necked, zealots like Bill Donohue have got their panties in such a twist about this comment, do they not under stand what Kathy does for a living? Have they ever tried to have a conversation with a professional comedian? There isn’t a lot of “serious” talk involved. Even when Kathy’s father died, she was still cracking jokes. Here is what that Catholic watch poodle Bill had to say;

"It is a sure bet that if Griffin had said, 'Suck it, Muhammad,' there would have been a very different reaction," Catholic league president Bill Donohue said in a statement posted on the group's Web site. He called on TV academy president Dick Askin to denounce Griffin's "hate speech" and on Griffin to apologize.

I, for one believe in the Freedom of Speech that over 2 million men and women in American uniform are protecting each and every day, just by their presence in that uniform. And Dick head Bill Donohue is so wrong! Where the hell is his outrage on the personal attacks led by the New York Times, on General Petraeus? Where is his anger toward his own priests ass pounding little boys?

Fuck off WORLD!! Find a fucking sense of humor AND shut the fuck up. (I figure if I give you two things to do I’ll settle for one or the other, but preferably both!)

Bouby and I spent most of last week finding her a new job, doing yard work and planting a patch of grass where the pool was. Now since the news of Greg’s passing last week I have been pretty introspective, and melancholy. But as I was roughing up the ground where the pool was, and soaking it , and roughing it up, and soaking it, (apparently a pool is basically big enough to make a diamond out of regular dirt. I used every large farm implement available, and with out watering it for two days, I would have never finished it.)

But without further ado …adieu? Yes that is it adieu, I present you the Greg Beck Memorial patch of grass, because he didn’t know how to swim. My distaste for pools has grown to “Beck” size proportions.

See you all tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Death's Door....RIP

tony's of KC, is reporting that Greg Beck Of Death's Door passed to the other side Sunday night of an apparent heart attack.

Sadness is gripping my heart like a vice. I only had the pleasure of meeting Greg once in my entire life, at the first blogger meet up set up by Michelle Greg's Best Friend. However in this one night of talk and cocktails was enough.

I began reading Death's Door, a couple of years ago, and was instantly convinced that we were brother's from different mothers. Our lives ran parallel to a point and he did a fantastic job of putting those stories down in his blog.

His larger than life presence, love for local music, ability to tell the ordinary in a extraordinary way and his love of Jim Beam will be greatly missed.

I sit in my cube and silently weep, not out of sadness, but out respect for the man I only met once.

Monday, September 10, 2007


Who thought up working on the weekend?

Friday night Bouby and I were invited by some frineds to the Majestic to watch a comedy show. It was a fuck load of funny rolled up into a 2 hour time frame. I highly recommend it.

So I thought that this would be the perfect weekend to sit and watch football. College games on Saturday, Pro games on was a perfect weekend for my and the Boubster to sit still and enjoy the simple nuances of the land acquisition game of American Football.

Boy was I mistaken.

Saturday it was decided that we should take down our redneck pool, and clean off the deck. I also decided that I should mow the lawn since it seems the only thing that grows is the foxtails around the mailbox, and basically makes or place look like my dirty cousins from the hills. So when that was finally done we sat down and waited while the pool drained. and we waited.

I made cocktails.

And we waited.

Finally we grew tired of the bad football, and the waiting and went to bed with the pool only 1/2 way empty.

I got up on Sunday at my usual o'Dark 30 and watched a movie, waiting for the sports to start, and I noticed there was still about a foot of water left in the I waited...had a cocktail, why not I didn't have anything planned but Football.

Then Bouby got up and we watched football, Chiefs Stank, I lost one of my early entries in the Elimination pool, thanks god I put in three times.

Then it was decided that we need to finish the pool project. Yay!

When I moved the tarps that the pool was sitting on it was like I had opened the door to Satan's Stables. It smelled so much like horse shit I think the neighbors thought we had went out and bought a pony. Now we have to spend a shit ton of money on reseeding the dead hole in the yard, and keeping the dogs off of it. I also have to take a garden claw and bust it up and blend in all of the sand we poured in the holes prior to putting up a pool.

I also came to the realization that the only time it is a good idea to have a pool is when you are a kid or you're retired. We ended up being too busy to spend anytime in it and 3 times as much time, working on it. So if you think it is a good idea to have a swimming pool and you don't have kids and your not old, don't fucking do it!

Thursday, September 06, 2007


Thursday already?

Jesus I love the Three day weekend.

So I learned how to pick master locks today.

I saw a giant helicopter deliver a new AC unit to a roof top on 435.

I came to the realization that people watch more college football if they have never played college football.

I just saw a commercial for Vagisil screening kit. WOW If guys had something that turned forest green when you peed on it, well I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to put it in a'd think the fine people at Vagisil would know that making anything turn a "Earth Tone" when you pee on it, as a medical testing tool...probably not the best idea. I'm thinking maybe pink, or a nice set of base colors would be a hell of a lot better then dirty earth tones to tell me that my junk has a bug.

Tonight the NFL kicks off. I know no one but me cares, but fuck you this is about me.

I think "Remember the Titans" will make me bawl every time I see it just like "Rudy"

I think the old skinny broad on "Sabrina; Teenage Witch" is some relation to Cameron Diaz.

Bouby just got home so I'm gonna make cocktails and dinner and settle in for some Thursday Night Football.

Don't let your meat loaf.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


Vaginas and The weekend

Ladies I have a question for you.

Why is there 9 Jillion different kinds of tampon and pad like devices? I know that all vagina's aren't alike, and I know that the clitoris is a tricky little button to find for the untrained, but once you're past the garden and through the gate, the concept is pretty much the same.

So I don't know why there is so many different kinds of plugs, pads, winged cotton ponies, squirrel covers and the like. Would you just need one? What is the criteria for choosing and sticking with YOUR brand of feminine protection? Do you as a young woman just go through all of the many different products? or do you start with what your mom has under the sink? and then listen to your girlfriends as to what they use and then go shopping?

The only reason I ask this is because I saw an ad for the latest and greatest tampon that supposedly allows you to be riding your monthly cycle AND mountain climb, ride horses, and play volley ball. It is sold as the "sport" model of tampon, and has such features like a plastic applicator, extra strong string and a no slip grip. But couldn't you use this for everyday, or are tampons like shoes? You have your fancy "Sunday go to meetin" tampon, your "Lounging around the house doing nothing" tampon, The "Important client" tampon and the daily use model for when you are "just going through the motions of enjoying your job, all the while waiting for the clock to hit 5pm so you can rush home throw in the "Sport" tampon and head for the stables for a quick horse ride?"

Nevertheless, since I don't possess a vagina, I have no fucking clue as to why we need a thousand brands, styles and textures. I get the size thing, I know that some are tiny and others you can park a truck in so I wouldn't want change that but the way I see it if the technology evolves couldn't there just be the one? as the become better, stronger, faster, couldn't we just wean out the other models and maybe try and save some resources?

I know I don't have a fucking clue...but that is why I asked.

Weekend was awesome, Dad says Hi.

I meant that to read "aren't" alike, not are alike....I apologize for misleading everyone. As I have said before my typing and syntax are generally no where near as good as my speaking ability.