Saturday, September 30, 2006


Nuclear war and the Bible

And I will pour out mine indignation upon thee, I will blow against thee in the fire of my wrath, and deliver thee into the hand of brutish men, skilful to destroy.

This is a quote from one of my favorite movies ever! And I thought that it would be a good time to use it when dealing with temp help.

Well it is also from the bible, and for my money you cannot bring fear to the masses without using some 2000 year old self help book, written by 4 drunks in a tavern out in the desert. Hell that book could have been written by some Vegas lounge act the last time we had nuclear weapons and all that was found were the dead sea scrolls, and some good ideas left behind by people who didn’t want the same thing to happen again.

Well now we’re fucked because Iran and Iraq have the bomb and it is only a matter of time before we get blown back to where I would like to start over, the single cell organism.

Really… what would you do if there was only a week left before we went the way of the Dodo bird? Would you spend it naked with your loved one or would you try and defy the odds and pack everything up and head into the wilderness?

I would do a little of both. I have this feeling that if there was a nuclear explosion, even if I was at ground zero, I would be unscathed. I don’t have any reason for this belief but if you have ever seen the original Heavy Metal movie from the 80’s, you know the scene I’m talking about, at the end of the movie playing “mob rules”, and the green goop covering the village leader…and he comes up with that groovy saw on his hand and starts attacking the hero chick? Yeah that is me.

Temps…what can I say most of them are brain dead crack addicts and the rest are recovering crack addicts.

Cocaine is a hellofa drug.

4 more days and I’m into bonus land and will be done with the Radio Shack roll out, well as long as my vendor supplies hold out. My steel vendor shorted me a stack of steel and now I don’t know if I will make it to the end. The good news is no matter what I have a meeting in Minneapolis on Friday morning so I won’t be around for the fall out, my two “supervisors” will be falling under the bus for this one.

Well I think we will maybe squeak by, so there won’t be any bad things, just me not being there.

C-ya in a week

Wednesday, September 27, 2006


What's that smell?

Sorry weirdos I needed to remove that picture because it was making me sick.

Something else that has been turning my stomach lately is the smell coming off of the sewage treatment plant off must have been a big week for egg salad because everyone's shit in the northland smells like egg salad.

We had a break in at our seperate warehouse yesterday morning/Monday night. The dummies cut the security chain off of the automatic gate and then proceeded to cut the locks off of 4 trailers we have stuffed with old crap. Luckily for us it is completely worthless shit that even a crackhead couldn't sell, but they did happen to get one of the Sirius Satellite Radio kiosks that we built for Wal Mart. Here is the nifty part. Those things were all dummies and there is a homemade MP3 player in each one that only plays the 4 tracks that we built to explain the Sirius system to shoppers. So basically they got a $350 peice of plastic, that is worthless unless you plan on selling a radio to someone.

HAHA fuckers!

So it is back to the grind today and the temps are really starting to shape up and do my bidding even though they still need people to tell exactly the same thing every day. It is like working with alzhiemers patients day in and day out.

Monday, September 25, 2006


Not even remotely safe for work!!!

Ok so as I’m watching the Monday Night Football game, Bouby asks me what a seven letter word for “Harness rings” would be. So I googled it and the second choice was this place And I looked at the harness rings and there wasn’t any other word for them and Then I noticed I was on a bondage site.

So I started looking around because hey I’m sick like that and I came to the quick conclusion that this was a GAY bondage site, and that the Homosexual S/M freaks are doing things WAAYY Differently then us poor straight people.

Like this fucking thing…

"Photo removed due to queasy stomach"


Friday, September 22, 2006


News from the land of temp

The saga continues.

Yesterday we had a visit from one of our illustrious bond reclamation teams sent to us to gather up one of their strays, one of my better temp workers. As they walked through the front door one of the OTHER temps say the shiny badge around one of the bounty hunters necks and her and her boyfriend sprinted out the back door.

I love my job.

It seems that my guys aren’t the most upstanding citizens in KC and ½ of them spend their breaks and lunch going over exit and entry strategies with their lawyers.

I have two weeks left on this supervisory gig and if I have to re-train 3 people because they couldn’t stay off of the grid long enough to do the job I’m gonna lose my freaking mind! Right now we are on schedule and it is looking like we can make everything happen according to the contract set before us, however if there is any more delays then I will be forced to take their weekends away and that means I lose mine as well ands that is totally unacceptable.

I had a short but poignant talk with both parties and told them that I didn’t care about whatever it is they might have done but that they needed to get it straightened out toot sweet because I can’t afford to lose them. I hope that they took it to heart because they are really ok people who are just too dumb to make the right life choices.

Other than that I’m pretty groovy….well for being an overly tired, sore, cranky, what did Myra call me?, oh yeah Curmudgeon. All things considered I’m doing allright, making good grades, my future’s so bright I gotta wear shades.

On a new topic…

Two days ago two young men lead a cop on a high speed chase that ended up with them wrecking and killing themselves and the two people they wrecked into. The media has portrayed them as the victims because the cops were chasing them.

I am so tired of this scenario, the criminals are NEVER the VICTIMS! If you run, you will get chased! If you don’t want to go to jail, don’t do the crime! It is very simple! If I was in charge of this case I would force the family’s of these two assholes to pay restitution to the families of the two innocent people they killed. Not that that would bring them back, but when law enforcement is doing their jobs as laid out by the decent people of this society then I don’t see why society should foot the bill for criminal activity.

These two ass-hammers are on their way to hell and if I was a cartoonist I would have a picture of the accident scene with the two innocent victims souls floating up wondering whether or not the other two made it and the two criminals heading down wondering the same thing, as flames are tickling their feet.

I fucking hate the liberal media and their “oh those boys were just misunderstood, the bad police shouldn’t have been chasing them BOO HOO”, well fuck that noise man!

I say we give cops the sniper creed and let them loose on all criminals “No need to run, you’ll only die tired”

Enjoy the weekend.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Temp Master

I must be getting soft in my old age.

After just three days of production I let my temps off early and I bought them lunch.

I had a couple go home sick, and a few no shows…which is why they are temps, they don’t have the skills or will power to hold a long term job, and the day before I played hard ass to see if I could rattle them and apparently I did, hence the no shows and the leaving before the pizza got here.

But needless to say I am still on schedule and I will make the deadline and all will be happy in the land of bank accounts.

On a side note, we have had a bird now for a few months, I don’t know if I have mentioned this fact but she is such a little weirdo. Just a second ago she was imitating the clock…yes she was ticking in time with our living room clock.

The little freak.

Ok now for my rant.

I was told Monday that I was too abusive and abrasive when it came to the temps and I tried to defend myself by saying that they don’t listen any better than my stupid bird and I find myself repeating what I say 5-10 times to get them to do it right. And each and every time I get a little louder because I hate to repeat myself, and I hate people who don’t listen. So there was a lot of hating going on last week and this week as well. But after I was told to stop being a dick, I listened, because I have mad skills like that and the people stopped doing bad things and started producing the kiosks in numbers that I can live with. So I just make sure that the team has everything it needs and occasionally I jump in and do a spot check but for the most part all I have to do is supervise and watch….not just the temps but also the other “supervisors”. They are doing a good job considering that they have never worked for my company before a couple of months ago, well one guy, the other guy is a friend of an uncles of the companies owner or something but they are really cool.

So I think my not being a dick has caused my blood pressure to stay normal and apparently my job easier.

But I think that without being a dick at first they would have never gotten the idea that I was deadly serious when I said I’d can their asses on the spot if they didn’t start getting it right….well that and weeding out the bad apples is an excellent tactic, even some that I had no immediate problem with so that the rest know that I’m not fucking around.

But now no one fucks up and I am calm and can just go about my day, doing my part and waiting for my old job to come back to me which sounds like Oct. When I have to go to Minneapolis MN for a big meeting with Best Buy. But until then call me the Temp Master.

Sunday, September 17, 2006


Asleep at the wheel.........

For the next two and ½ weeks I will be in charge of a group of temps that are building the Sirius Satellite kiosks for Radioshack. For every Radioshack in the country. That is 4550 stores. So in a month or two go to your local Radioshack and you can see some of what me and my company does. Once again my bosses have set me up to fail and saddled me with unattainable goals..anyone want to work at my company?? I need a slower/betterjob?
All last week and most of the week before I trained and organized a group of temps and what we call “friend and family temps”, people that we found that are either related to or are friends of people that work with me.

The Friend and Family temps are an exceptional bunch of people, they number around 10. The other 10-12 people that are working under me are temps from a temp agency and they are exactly what you would expect, lazy, dumb, annoying, and are making me so pissed off that I had to have a come to Jesus meeting with them last Thursday when we went from building 174 kiosks on Wednesday to 75 kiosks on Thursday. I need to make a minimum of 250 a day to meet our project end date and so that I get my bonus.

On a side note I will get a pretty sizable bonus for making that date. However it will mean working more that 12 hours a day everyday and some Saturdays. I am so tired right now that I am nodding off while I type this.

I spent the last weekend driving across the state of Kansas for a wedding and to pick up a new steering column for my pile of shit truck which had broke down yet again. BUT I now have a new (for me) steering column in my truck, and it only cost me $25 and my Saturday afternoon installing it. Naturally when it was in it didn’t work right away, which is the biggest problem with owning a 30 year old vehicle, parts are generally used and need all most as much TLC as the rest of the vehicle.

So if I can talk Bouby into an early bed time I will forgo my usual 8 fingers of rum and caffeine free Dt. Coke and just go to bed at 8:00.

My K-State Wildcats won---Good
My Oakland Raiders look like a bad flag football team---Bad.
Blue Xanax are stronger than pink Xanax---Good
My Left leg is swollen ½ again as big as usual and my knee has no cartilage left in it—Bad


Sunday, September 10, 2006


whew, what a long month this will be!!

It has been a long week capped by a long weekend.

My work schedule, for the next three weeks will be even more hectic than the last time I was thrown under the bus. I have a couple of guys that are supposed to be co-project managers with me on this current project and neither one of them seems to want to actually take control or make any decisions regarding the project, and I find myself becoming short of temper and angry towards them and the rest of the work force.

I am being well compensated for this endeavor into something I hate but I don’t know how long I will be able to contain my frustrations. We have 3 short weeks to create 4550 kiosks and most of the parts are slow getting to us and I have to do to much to keep this on track and profitable.

I will need a ton of drugs to make this work. Not evil go fast drugs but more along the lines of Xanax. I will need a ton of Xanax.

I just finished watching a “The Incredibles” and being one of the few people in cyber space that has seen a picture of Clarity I can say without a doubt she looks just like the blonde woman that works for Syndrome. Remarkable likeness.

My dad came to spend the weekend with us for his 24th annual Navy reunion that was held here in KC. He was pretty disappointed none of the guys he knew on board ship showed up, but he did meet some others that were either on the ship while he was there ad he didn’t know them or they were on before or after, his stint, and they were able to swap stories. Most of the people there reminded me of people trying to put on airs regardless of their station in life. My dad is very black and white kind of guy. If your standing bullshit he’ll call you on it, these people liked to hear themselves talk and it reminded me of a bad high school reunion movie. All of the wives were like a bunch of hens who strutted around and looked down their noses at people and if you weren’t in on the secret from the beginning then there was no room for you now.

I hate those people. My dad hates those people. We wish we could spike the punch with ex-lax, no that might actually help these old people, maybe Viagra and Spanish fly. Scare the old women and fuck up the hearts of the old men.

Anyway I will be too busy to much more then post angry 10 word posts about how my work situation sucks ass, but I will try to keep up on my reading.

Good luck to all of the people who joined the football pool. It looks like a fun year in the making!

Go Raiders!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


G. W's Resume....I am ashamed.

George W. Bush
The White House


I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including the late Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas

· I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union

· During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America

· I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

· I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

· With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I was selected to be President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

· I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

· I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

· I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S.Treasury.

· I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S.history.

· I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

· I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

· I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

· In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

· I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

· I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

· I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

· My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

· My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

· I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.

· More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

· I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

· I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

· I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

· I appointed more convicted criminals to the administration than any President in U.S. history.

· I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

· I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

· I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

· I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

· I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war detainees" and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

· I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S.election).

· I set the record for least number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

· I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

· After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

· I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

· I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

· I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive (actually "preventive") attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

· I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and supported a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.

· In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq , then blamed the lies on our British friends.

· I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

· I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

· I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.


· All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

· All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

· All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

Friday, September 01, 2006


Top five signs....

The Top 5 Signs You're Dealing With a Real Assclown

5. After charging you $3.79 for a regular black coffee, he looks forlornly at the tip jar.

4. When you politely reject his offer of fries with that, he strikes a pose and snips, "Don't hate because I'm a superstar!"

3. "Strippers? Not tonight -- 'According to Jim' is on."

2. Carries a handheld karaoke machine around the office and starts each song with, "This one's for the ladies."

and the Number 1 Sign You're Dealing With a Real Assclown...

1. On his business cards he spells it "Arseclown."