Monday, March 31, 2008



I totally have a lunch date for tomorrow!!

The amazing Ms Keri Oke and her totally bitchin new business, could be a great fit with my totally bitchen day job! So I get to make a presentation and wear a silly hat so she can find me, I hope to impress her enough that I can meet the rest of her biz partners and have the opportunity to give the .25 cent dog and pony show, NOT that Pony show XO, but the plant tour/dog and pony show.

I think that it is about time that this bullshit blog did something besides made poop and fart jokes, and turned folks' stomaches.

So enjoy the Monday and don't forget I gotz mad skillz yo! I'm the guy behind the guy, and I know someone who does something for every occasion.

Saturday, March 29, 2008



Thursday was a day of fond memories for me. Not that I knew it was Thursday mind you I had lost a day somewhere and I thought it was Wednesday all damn day, but I digress. Thursday there absolutely nothing good on TV when I happened to stumble upon ESPN Classic and they were replaying all three of the Bowe vs Holyfield fights from the 90's.

I had forgotten what good boxing was all about. If you aren't a boxing fan well just click away and go about your day, because this is as good as it has been for 15 years.

If you are like me and enjoy watching boxing, or at least did enjoy watching boxing before it became so much of a three ring circus and pay per view ass poundery.

Riddick "Big Daddy" Bowe was and still is one of my favorite boxers. He beat the seemingly unbeatable Evander Holyfield TWICE, two out of three times Bowe knocked him out cold, the last one was amazing. I think if he hadn't fucked up so ad in his personal life, and got sent to jail he would have been one of the greatest heavy weights in recent history. And I'm not trying to take anything away from Evander, he was amazing, even old he whipped some ass, but he did get knocked the fuck out twice by Big Daddy.

but the best part of these two fighters was the fact that they stood toe to toe in the middle of the ring and pound each other until the other one dropped. There was no running and no hanging on each other and none of the bullshit that you see in todays fighting, and THAT is the true test of a fighter in my opinion.

I was going to post a bunch of you tube clips here but if you're a fan you remember the fights, and if you don't I don't want to spoil it for you. But most boxing analysts agree that the 10 round in the second fight is one of the top 10 best rounds of boxing in the history of the sport.

So if your so inclined go to you tube and watch some great boxing. I was so jazzed when this was on that I sat on the couch twitching with every punch thrown. I just love watching a good bout.

Oh and he also had two BRUTAL buts with that cheating Polack Andrew Golota, both fights lost due to him throwing low blows that busted Riddick's nuts up into tiny little marbles.

Friday, March 28, 2008


I'm A Dirty Boy

I got my laptop back this morning and can I say I was a little disturbed by why it was failing. It turns out that my hard drive is not the devil, and it isn't trying to turn on me and make me it's bitch, however the guys at Micro Center did tell me that the reason that I was experiencing the massive trauma was because my heat sink was packed with dirt and one fan was no longer spinning.

I'm dirty and have no fans.

They cleaned the machine and set it on the diagnostics for a 24 hour period and no failures. So now that my computer is out of warranty at least I know that the next time I have a failure more than likely it is a dirt problem and not a "ALL electronics hate you and you should never use anything but pencil and paper" problem.

I have many angry things to discuss but for now I'm headed to bed I have Community things to do tomorrow.

Peas out Homies!

1. Write your own six word memoire. I played, I layed, I stayed.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you want.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
4. tag at least five more blogs with links.Spyder,XO, Trashman, Michelle, NGD
5. Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play....

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


woe is me!

The goddamned laptop fucking died on me!

As lucky as I am it was 5 lonely days til the warranty ran out on it so off to the shop where it will sit quietly until the repair man can take a look at it and detirmine that yes indeed it needs a new mother board, and possibly Nighty gets a new machine....more then likely they will find nothing wrong because all machines hate me and I'll get it home only to find that as soon as I plug it in it will go completely batshit crazy.

So until that day I'll be only blogging on my lunch period!

Peas out Homies!

Sunday, March 23, 2008


PETA Kills

I read this little story and I couldn't believe I figured I better post it here and continue to uphold my journalistic facade.

According to Virgina's Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, PETA killed 97.4% f the dogs and cats and other pets it took in for adoption in 2006. During that year, the anti hunting group managed to find adoptive homes for just 12 pets. Not counting animals PETA held only temporarily in it's spay/neuter program the organization took in 3,061 companion animals,in 2006 of which it killed 2,981. According to VDACS, the average euthanasia rate for humane societies in the state was 34.7% in 2006 Yet PETA killed 97.4%.

That seems to be something that you won't hear on mainstream news outlets. Where is all the anti fur celebs when this was going down? Do you think that PETA's PR spin machine is going to be discussing this at the next big shareholder meeting? (I don't even know if they have shareholder meetings...I'm jest saying!)

It seems that this style of hypocrisies is something that America loves to sweep under the rug. Governors renting pussy...REALLY REALLY EXPENSIVE PUSSY, Sports figures lying about steroid usage, actors and rock stars doing anti drug commercials and then dropping dead of overdoses, Presidents blowing up brown people to halt the spread of terrorism..I mean oil. and now People for the ETHICAL Treatment of Animals failing 3 times worse then the tried and true system that we have in place for the betterment of societal animal problems.

Jesus Christ on a POGO Stick I hate those fuckers.

Just for that I'm going hunting and I may even make a fur hat from the kill....well it would be more like a headdress, since the next season I participate in is turkey season.

And for Trashman! I have made him a special campaign poster!

Friday, March 21, 2008


Happy Easter

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


Home sick...

Over the weekend I believe I may have contracted something at the Snake Saturday parade, and no I didn't get Hep B from D He was running in Westport or something. But since my boots have developed secret holes in the bottom and there was no shortage of water at the parade site, I'm sure I got a head cold from wet feet and dirty drunks coughing their phlegm filled disease sauce into the air. So since I started running a fever (100.8) I decided to go home and take a nap this afternoon.

On my way home I saw a cute little thing hitchhiking on the edge of 435 headed towards Liberty. She was carrying two bag, one a shopping bag the other a briefcase. Being a Eagal Scout I pulled right over and passed the ugly trucker looking for a lift to the truck stop and swung in to pick up little miss thing.

She climbs into the warm (yet germ ridden...although she didn't know that) cab of my manly Ford Explorer and told me that she was on her way to a job interview in Liberty when her car broke down and could I please give her a lift. Naturally I said sure, and pulled away from the shoulder.

She loked at me sideways for about a mile as we made small talk and then she said;

"I know this is going to sound horrible but, I need to change clothes before the interview and I don't know if I'll have time when I get there do you mind if I get in the back seat and change my clothes?"

"No, go right ahead" I replied, understanding how appearance can make or break a job interview, not to mention that she is still pretty cute at this time.

So she climbs into the back seat and pulls the shopping bag in behind her. Thankfully I have a pretty good view of the back seat...NOT that I would peek, I am a boy scout you know...So has I race towards liberty I hear her struggling peel her tight jeans off. Her struggling gets more animated and I look in the rear view and ask if she was doing ok because her thrashing about was causing my car to swerve.

When I look back I wasn't ready for what I saw, she was sitting with her jeans off and her hand was jammed into her panties and she was writhing in obvious pleasure. I was shocked. what do you say to someone you have never met who is masturbating in your back seat!?? I mean she was really going at it I could see her fingers playing her love button like it was a door stop and she was trying to annoy her parents!

So I said" Umm hey, whatcha doing back there?"

"Umm, just keep driving!"

"Uh No, gas is like 3.08 a galon, you need to tell me if I'm getting punk'd or if you are just a freak?"

"Please I really do have a job interview, but I am also a Sex addict and I accidentally brushed MY GOD"

And she climaxed...right there in my back seat!!

I was still in shock. Did this really just happen? It seemed to much like a Penthouse letter for me to even believe.

She then shimmied into her dress and slipped into her pumps and crawled back into the the passenger seat.

I just sat there.

I had no idea how to react to this woman pleasuring herself in my back seat. I mean really what can you do?

Finally she started giving me directions as to where I needed to go and it wasn't to far off the freeway, so as I dropped her off in front of some office building, she tried to shake my hand and I told her "Not unless you sanitized!"

She just smiled and hopped out.

As I pulled away I grabbed my cell phone and called Bouby and told her all about it and she was VERY angry that I picked up a strange girl on the side of the road...then she asked "Wait did she leave that bag in your back seat?"

I turned around and looked and sure enough it was a big dirty reminder of why people shouldn't pick up hitchhikers, no matter how pretty it is or how much it looks like rain.

I told her that yes it was there, and she asked what was in it.

I said I have no I reached back and grabbed it. As I pulled into our drive way and parked my car, I sat there dumbfounded as I listened to Bouby continue to rip me a new asshole, staring into the bag.

She finally stops to breathe and asks me "WELL what the fuck is in that goddamned SACK!"

Do you know what was in the sack?

Bullshit....just like I'm feeding you!

I hope you don't get sick, and have to go home early.

Monday, March 17, 2008


St. Patty's

I used to work in the number one Irish bar in Chico California during the post "Pioneer Days" debacle, where MTV posted a map on how to get to Chico and told everyone to party it up.

Well we never caused any riots after that year, but they did try and pin the whole riot on us, but since most of the regulars at that time were the Chico State Baseball team and they surrounded our beer garden (later turned into a "dome") with baseball bats and protected it from the rioters. They did have front row seats to the burning of the TV news van and the police vehicle that got torched but still Riley's had NOTHING to do with that.

But the 5 years that I ran the joint at 5th and Ivy, we had some of the best St. Patty's days ever! One year we sold 57 kegs of green beer between 6am and 4pm. that is 113,088 ounces of beer, or roughly 9424 12 ounce beers in a 10 hour period. or 158 beers per hour which coincidentally was close to our capacity of 161 people(Not that we followed those rules I had almost 220 people jammed in there at one time). So for 10 hours we averaged one beer per person per hour. Not to mention the 30 liters of Jagermiester and other assorted shots that were being devoured by the populace. It was a ton of fun!

Every year we would run a skeleton crew the night before St. Patty's so our number one crew would be fresh for the 5-4 shift, however since I was the Manager I had to make sure that all was smooth and since I lived above the bar it was noisy enough that I couldn't get to sleep until the bar closed anyway so I generally worked that night. When we would sut the doors at 2:00am on the 16th we would always, ALWAYS have 20-30 people walk out of the bar and turn around so they would be first in at 6am.

Nucking Futs I tell ya!

One year I had to call the fire department because this regular Kurt Stassi (yes that is his real name, he can't know about the inter webs so it's ok) decides it would be a good idea to have a fire so he walks to his frat house the AGR house and drags back a BBQ. One of those great big Webber models, and proceeds to create a BON FIRE on the sidewalk, next to the bar.

Every year we would get done with the party and Nick and Kevin (the owners) would take the first crew out for drinks at a tiny little place, 1/2 a block away called Joe's that survived on blue collars and our over flow. They also make the BEST bloody Mary's in Chico! ( I still talk about them and I haven't had one for 15 years.

Man how fucking young and stupid was I? I can't believe that this was almost 21 years ago...I could have had a kid and taken them out boozing today! That is weird I tell ya!

Anyway, Party Monsters ENJOY the drunkfest that is St. Patty's and be safe! You never know when you'll wake up old!

Friday, March 14, 2008



Are the MTV holocaust commercials a warning that we will be living in a police state soon? Or is it in retaliation to the one history department in the UK that dropped the Holocaust from it's curriculum to avoid any anti-semantic protests and because it offends the Muslims who believe that the Holocaust never occurred?

Now I now that this story has been floating around the planet interwebs for about 7 months now, but it seems funny that I didn't hear a peep about this until a very poorly and badly researched email hit my box this morning. Am I the only one who missed this in mainstream media?who would have though that Six million Jews,
20 million Russians,10 million Christians, millions of Gypsies, Lesbians & Gays
& 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated while the German and Russian peoples looked the other way, could now be claimed as "Oh that? Yeah that never happened."

It is a matter of history, that when Supreme Commander of the Allied
Forces, General Dwight Eisenhower, found the victims of the death camps he
ordered all possible photographs to be taken, and for the German people from
surrounding villages to be ushered through the camps and even made to bury
the dead.

He did this because he said in words to this effect: 'Get it all on
record now - get the films - get the witnesses -because somewhere down the
track of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened'

Well Ike, you were right, there is a pack of Jack offs who need to be choked to death and lit on fire.

Thursday, March 13, 2008


Well Helllooo Ms. Halifax!

I think that the beautiful Ms. Halifax reads...or at least has someone read, and keep track of this blog.

Why do I think something so obviously preposterous?

I was watching the FOX 4 news on Wednesday morning and at 5:30 (or there abouts) the 3 man crew Lauren, Mark and Don) had a few seconds of air to kill, and the boys were being silly, fuck I don't even know what was said exactly, but I think it went like this;

Don: well last night I had stinky cumulus clouds emanating from my ass.

Mark: Jeeze Don that sounds like fun, have you seen my monkey? Sometimes I like to wear his clothes and dance with strange men on the bus.

Don: I make little castles out of my poop!

and at this time Lauren jumped in and said "Really? this is the best we can do? we have all kinds of good stories to report on, the WAR, the ELECTION, NY Gov. Penis, ...

Mark: But we get in trouble for reporting that.

So all of the shit I bitched about, and a conformation that they aren't allowed to report the news as they have it, and guess what else?

Nope Guess again...

One more time because you are so wrong!

Mark Alford was not in his regular seat this morning!! Coincidence? I think not! I think Mr. Alford was taken to the secret location in the Rocky mountains and beaten with pillow cases filled with oranges. Wait until he comes back and if you see him on the street, walk up and poke him in the ribs...if he winces then you'll all know I'm right and Ms. Hottie McThunderPants DOES keep abreast of the goings on here at SLB!

I also want to tell everyone that Lazyboy is a brand name NOT a Racial Slur!

Keep that in mind, there will be a quiz.

It looks like the next KC Booger Meat up is going to be at

Jaywalkers Sports Bar & Grill
3916 Rainbow Blvd.
Kansas City, KS 66103

March 26th 5-?

And since it looks like they are going to be closing their doors soon they won't mind if we pillage and plunder the place to the ground! So bring your duffel bags and a screwdriver so you can get all of the good beer mirrors before the rabble gets'em!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Yesterday's FOX

I am not a big news watcher. Most of the talking heads creep me out because they are really bad. And I know what you are thinking, "well if you think they're so bad why don't you do it?" Well I have done it...on the radio, and there is a reason for that...I have a face for Radio! Lauren Halifax is Smoking hot, and so is Karli Ritter, but for the most part the KC TV news is fucking retarded.

Last nights lead story....anyone? anyone?

How the Big 12 Championship's basketball fans will have to face the dress code of the Power and Light District bars.

Wait..What? that is the best news that you can come up with?

Some ass clown who has nothing better to do but watch basketball is offended because he can't wear his hat and jersey into a bar so he can get drunk and puke? Or even catch a sandwich on his way home to the hotel?

This is news? This matters more then the war in Iraq? or the fact that America is Bankrupt, and there are banks closing around the nation and world wide food shortages?

I mean really who fucking cares if the cockmonkeys can't wear their fucking college basketball jerseys in a fucking resturant. Personally I feel that if someone tells you that you can't wear a particular peice of clothing into their establishment, then you have two choices, change clothes, or GO SOMEWHERE FUCKING DIFFERENT! You have NO RIGHTS when it comes to patronizing a particular bar or restaurant. It does not say ANYWHERE in the constitution that the restaurant/bar owners HAVE to serve a matter of fact, they all tend to hang a sign up to the contrary, starts with "We reserve the right to REFUSE service to anyone". Now I can hear all of you left wing democrats whinnying from here "but you can't do it based on color, or race, or religion or sex...right, but we aren't talking about that we are talking about the fucking clothes.

I think all of the saggin, baggy oversize clothes wearing asspipes are the ones to blame for all of this shit. Had they been able to act like decent fucking people when they go out instead of fighting, cussing, acting all fucking loud and animalistic, not to mention, intimidating the rest of the people who are minding their own business, and just out to have a good time.

Some bullshit perceived "dis" on a passerby who happened to look at you like your fucking mars, because you dress like my dirty clothes hamper, does NOT give you the right to get in someones face. Much like the chicks who get mad when they walk out of the house with a low cut blouse and then glare when men "notice" that their tits are hanging out...again shut the fuck up.

But I stray... FOX TV...where was I?

Oh yes, they dumb asses at Fox then ran a story about how your commute was going to kill you, because it causes stress...naturally I wanted to see this because well I have stress.

The whole fucking dumb ass report was based on taking the fucking subway to work.

Look you ignorant fucking desk jockeys. KC DOES NOT HAVE A SUBWAY! I don't care if you did try and sell it to us by first mentioning how you drive to work all white knuckled and mad, or ride the the smelly bus. But when all 3 mins of tape from New York is about the fucking subway...IT DOESN'T TRANSLATE WELL!!

Fucking talking heads aught to do the fucking show buck naked so at least we'd be distracted and not care that they were too lazy to find a real goddamned story.

FOX, all I'm saying is that you're lucky Lauren makes think naughty thoughts.

Monday, March 10, 2008


Weekend crap...

Well it finally happened I got sick...thank god it wasn't the Brisbane 10 or the Jackson 5 or whatever the fuck everyone else got to spread around like the typhoid. I was just feeling shitty on Saturday which lead to a long nap and a bout of airbournes to keep me from developing any further symptoms. I feel much better now though, and I'm beggining to think it wasn't the flu or even a cold but more like allergies. I think when I was catching cancer at the George Thorogood show last Thursday, thanks in part to the 2000 60 year old chain smoking Wal-Mart rejects, it kick started my "holy shit you're inhaling so much smoke you could be on fire" Allergy, and that is what got me feeling shitty.

You may have noticed some new...well new to this blog rolly dealio, peeps on the left there. Any that you recognize as new are folks that I surreptitiously read for some time now and have just decided to bring them out into the open. So if you're coming here just for the links...and I know a couple that are, check out the new additions.

here is a big fat no DUH!

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions.

You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

What European City Do You Belong In?

Ireland? REALLY?? for a drunk? you think that is a good city for me? to be drunk in? Who would have thought?

Friday, March 07, 2008


Playing Hooky

Yesterday I played hooky.

I received a call from a friend of mine who lives in Wichita and he asked if I was busy and would I be able to drive to Wichita on Thursday….not being one to go out for a 3 hour drive for no good reason, I asked "why? Who died?"

He giggled and said “ no one yet but this guy is getting pretty old.”

So I politely asked “What the fuck are you going on about?”

He replied “George Thorogood was playing the Cotillion in Wichita and that he had a ticket with my name all over it.

I asked” Jeeze will they still let me in with my name written all over the ticket? Couldn’t you have used a sticky note or something?”

Well to this he replied; “stop being a dickhead, you coming or not?”

So, not being able to argue that point, I drove to Wichita and went to see the World’s Greatest Bar Band Live and in person. The venue was filled with the stench of unfiltered Camels and Ben-Gay, the security guards told us that this was the second oldest crowd he had ever seen in his 20 year tenure of working the Cotillion.

The Oldest?

Willie Nelson. He said that there was 80-100 Walkers, Wheel Chairs, and the smell of stinky old people diapers for a full hour and Willie came out and sang 5 songs and went home. There was almost a riot.

But this crowd of 40-70 ner do wells was filled with your typical Saturday afternoon Wal-Mart crowd, if said crowd was all from the set of Night of the Living Dead cast offs. It was frightening. I am convinced that I contracted cancer last night from all of the second hand was awful! And you know you are having a good time with quality folk when the Sam Elliot look alike in front of you sticks his finger up the ass of his meth skinny, black toothed girlfriend.

Dollar Store rejects at their finest!

But back to the present, I was in the Groovy burg of Emporia when my phone rang, it was my Pops. He started telling me that my Brother in law had a stroke, caused by a blood clot and was headed to Wesley hospital in Wichita….Now is that a coincidence or what?

So Since I was headed that way, and was about 7 hours early, I knew that my day had been planned for me…Thanks PTB! (PTB= Powers that Be). When I got to the hospital, I found the super secret back door and as I was walking in a helicopter was coming in for a landing. Naturally it was the BIL. So as I looked for admissions, to try and find out where BIL was headed and even though it took me about ½ an hour, I still beat him to the trauma room.

Long story short the blood clot moved through his brain and caused some temporary speech hiccups, right side paralysis, and a shit ton of frustration. But he as of right now he is back to normal, with only some small lingering uselessness in his right leg.

Which if it is permanent, then I can start buying him some kick ass canes!

Here is a picture I took of George last night…not trying to pat myself on the back too hard, but THIS is the best action shot of George I have ever seen.

Here is a video I took also;

Wednesday, March 05, 2008


Old but still funny!

10 Truths Black And Hispanic People Know, But White People Won't Admit:
1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5-year-child is too big for a stroller.
8. N'Sync will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional butt-whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 Truths White And Black People Know, But Hispanic People Won't Admit:
1. Hickeys are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Men don't wear hair nets.
5. Maria is a name but not for every other daughter.
6. "Jump out and run" is not a substitute for car insurance.
7. 10 people to a car is considered too many.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

10 Truths White And Hispanic People Know, But Black People Won't Admit:
1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be president.
7. Red is not a Kool-aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

Monday, March 03, 2008


Page Two.....

One of these days this fucker needs to just create his own blog. But because I know he is just an amateur complainer as opposed to myself who went pro when he didn't get that pony for...wait, I did get the pony, ok when I didn't get the GI that isn't it...Iran Hostage situation? Maybe...I'll have to think on when I became professional bitcher. Anyway without further adieu Page Two;

I would like to avoid a politics all together, but there is far too much to ignore. First I am mad as hell that the race for president began more than 18 months before the election. God have mercy! I would like to express my gratitude to Ralph Nader for waiting till the election was only 8 months away before declaring his candidacy. A raspberry to the rest of you! If John McCain and Russ Feingold want to do something about political campaigns do something about this!

Speaking of John McCain; I generally vote Republican, and am as much moderate as conservative, but either way, I don't care for John McCain. Senator McCain has acquired the label of "maverick." It seems "maverick" is code for "he is unpredictable but he causes more trouble for other people than he does for me." From where I sit, McCain is a loose cannon - unpredictable and potentially dangerous. I don't like his stance on many issues, don't trust his judgment and don't think he would make a good president. Yet many folks feel confident, as a Republican, he will get my vote. I'm not so sure. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Let me first comment on Senator McCain's military service, and the military in general. I did not serve in the military. At the time it really wasn't something my peers and I seriously considered. If I had served I might have been called to duty in WW Grenada or the Panama Conflict. Hardly endeavors that inspire. I am humbled by young people who join the military today, knowing full well that they are likely to be put in harms way. (Strong props to Prince Harry.) I respect Senator McCain for his service. I can not imagine what he had to endure at the hands of the Vietnamese. I will stipulate that his time in North Vietnam was the polar opposite of Club Med. Nor do I question Senator McCain's love for his country. However, that by itself in no way guarantees he will be a good president.

I also have to say, that the frequent mentions of his service and time in Vietnam bother me. Sometimes I get the feeling that he is trying to tell us his being a POW is a necessary attribute that no other candidate has. I half expect him to say "if Al Qaeda shoots down Air Force One and captures the President alive, I am the only candidate who has the experience to successfully handle the ordeal." We get it. You were a Navy pilot. You were shot down. You were beaten regularly for five years, and dang it you missed Woodstock. But how does that make you qualified to be president?

Your turn Mrs. Clinton. I do not like Senator Clinton. Nor do I trust her. I think electing her president would be bad news for our country. I recently read an opinion piece in a well known publication, where the author quoted someone else as saying "she is every man's first wife, and first mother in law all in one pant suit." Perfectly sums up her personality.

I am also shocked at how Democrats and the press fawn over her. Late last year Carl Bernstein, formerly of Woodward and Bernstein fame, was in town to promote his biography of Mrs. Clinton. He appeared on a local radio talk show. During the interview he said, and I am not making this up, “she has overcome so much adversity in her life.” I thought about that a minute. She grew up in suburban Chicago in a middle class household. She went to Wellesley College and Yale Law School. My God! You’re right! How could anyone rise above that! The campaign of Senator Obama has stolen much or her glory, but she still gets unusually kind treatment from the press.

On top of that her politics are ALL wrong. I heard a snippet of a speech she gave this week where she was discussing health care. She said "...there are many solutions to the health care problem, we just need to roll up our sleeves and get to work.." This is the first thing she has said that I agree with. There are many solutions. Most of which are better than your plan. (The last time we heard the "roll up our sleeves" line was from Ross Perot. Chuckle.)

Senator Clinton’s plans are all built around the idea that the government knows what is best for you and you need to get out of their way and let them take care of you. On health care, one candidate said "do you want to trust the nation's health care to the same organization that oversaw the invasion of Iraq and the aftermath of hurricane Katrina?" To put it another way, the old joke goes, "you know you're in trouble when someone knocks on your door and says 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'" Bottom line, do you really think the government stepping in and taking control of health care will FIX the problem? The Democrats have been fighting the War on Poverty for 40 years. How is that going? That’s all I have to say about that.

I do feel compelled to discuss something else Senator Clinton has said. On more than one occasion she has advocated heavily taxing big oil companies. Granted, Exxon Mobil has posted astronomical profits the last couple years. And there may be cause to decrease some government tax breaks to oil companies. But the suggestion that we should heavily tax the profits scares the hell out of me, and it should scare you too. Let’s think this through. When a company makes a profit, where does the money go? Well, after the Board of Directors get their taste, and the accountants work their voodoo, the rest is distributed to stock holders – you – me - my 401K - yours. I checked, at least one of the funds offered in my company's 401K plan holds Exxon Mobil stock. Yours probably does too, heck it would be crazy to ignore a company that made a profit of over 100 billion dollars in one year. Yes, I hate the price of gas, and the oil companies are giving with one hand and taking with the other, but the thought of the government intervening in this cycle is the perfect way to suppress economic growth. Then where will we be?

All I have to say about Barak Obama is he is an unabashed socialist. Don't care to go down that road.

As for the election in the fall, I have no idea what will happen. I do have a prediction about the debates. No matter who the Democrat candidate is, John McCain will struggle to impress. If his opponent is Senator Obama, comparisons to the Nixon-Kennedy debate are inevitable. McCain's only chance is if that old dog can learn a few new tricks before fall.

Saturday, March 01, 2008


Things I learned from Movies

1. The Loc Nar is the Sum of all Evil!
2. Never insult a Hippogryph
3. Guns never run out of bullets unless the killing needs to occur up close and personal.
4. Sometimes a Kiss is just a kiss.
5. Smoking is safe and everyone should do it.
6. Unicorn blood looks just like "Okie Chrome"
7. All anthropologists are hot chicks.
8. There is no Internet at Hogwarts
9. Psychopaths have all of the money and yet never have to go to work.
10. Assassins always know the best place to shop for clothes and equipment.
11. Quarterbacks names are generally states.
12. Cheerleaders are either whores or prudes.
13. Dirty = Poor
14. Rats are filthy beasts, unless you are in prison and then they are your friends or food.
15. Fat guys get to fuck supermodels
16. Snow is ALWAYS wet and makes great snowmen.
17. All guard dogs can be tricked with meat, or dog bones.
18. The theory of Occam's Razor is NEVER in place.
19. Black is bad
20. White is good
21. UFO's still use incandescent lighting even thought the aliens have the cure for cancer.
22. Lasers sound like this...Pew pew pew.
23. If it CAN'T happen, it DOES.
24. When a woman does something important, a gentle breeze blows her hair back very dramatically.
25. A group of teenagers can clean an entire 4 story building and turn it into livable apartments in less then a week.