Monday, October 29, 2007


Why my younger brother is WAY smarter then me...

I sent this picture to my younger brother the electrical engineer genius who woks for THE robot company....

He replied back:


So I thought h was thinking the same thing I was, which is "HA Funny! they made the phone number a math problem!! hehe, where is my helmet? it is time for a bath and I don't want to get hurt again...Ok he probably didn't think that since 15 minutes later in my slow ass email I got this response...

The HR lady must have written that instead of the engineering department.

I wrote this python program:

part_one = ( (y*y) - x )
part_two = ( (y*y) - (10*10) ) * 10
print "Phone=01.",part_one,".",part_two

and the output I got was this:

>>> ================================ RESTART ================================
Phone=01. 876 . 8000

They're never going to get any calls back without an area code.

Maybe it's another country...

Sure enough - it's local somewhere else. And it make sense then that if you're going to have a tear-off bit, you'd know what town you'd be calling from.

Anonymous said...

McKinsey & Company Switzerland

Alpenstrasse 3
8065 Zurich
phone: +41 44 876 8000
fax: +41 44 876 9000

01.876.800 is the phone-number for local calls ;)

zuperstar []

I wonder if I'll get the gig.

He fucking solved for PHONE NUMBER!!

I swear to god as soon as he turns evil we are all dead....more than likely we'll never know when he turns evil...we'll already be dead.

Thanks for the laugh Lil' Bro...and the abject humiliation that I will always be dumber then you...unless the world turns into "Idiocracy"...then I rule and you drool!


When in doubt, whip it out.

One of the fun things I learned this weekend was that if you confuse hand sanitizer with hand lotion, and you're watching a porn, it will burn your junk.

Ok I didn't really do that but I did have that random thought run through my head when I was cooking chicken last night. I mean how bad would that suck if you sanitized your wiener?? OWWW!!

When did adults lose their sense of adventure? I mean when was the last time you squatted over a mirror to look at your own butthole? Or for those of you seriously adventurous, stood on the edge of the bathroom sink? When did bodily exploration become so taboo that we stopped doing it?

Well I'm assuming you people stopped doing it, or why else would you be so fucking up tight?

Here is a plan, next time that you're feeling stressed, or overwhelmed, and you just feel like hurting people...take a deep breath, go to the restroom, find a stall, drop your pants, and look at your junk. if that doesn't settle you down I don't know what will.

Unless you are mad at your junk. Maybe your junk is (IYHO) too small, or too big. Then maybe you should carry around a pocket mirror and look at your butthole. Because if you can't look at your stuff and think about all the wonderment that this area has to offer, then you may need professional help.

I'm no therapist, but I think that Genital gazing could possibly replace fish tanks in dentist's office. Imagine, a bunch of seating with little lap drapes to cover your junk from other peoples peeping, (purely optional)and you sit and stare at your wee willy happy maker, whist waiting for the dentist. I think it would relieve all of the stress of going to the dentist.

So remember stressed? Look at your crotch!

Saturday, October 27, 2007


Friday Fright Night

Last Night Bouby and I along with the President of the JAYCEE's and her Secret Service Agent husband, gave out candy to over 300 Northland kids as part of the safe Halloween project put on by the Northland Chamber of Commerce. There were a lot of kids, some in costume some not, but that was Okay we understand that many of these kids don't have the wherewithal to get a costume and neither do their parents.


MY FAVORITE was this little guy, who's parents OBVIOUSLY love Fast Times at Ridgemont High as much as I do!! Check out Lil' Spicoli complete with surf board!

I used to have a bumper sticker on my old pickup that read "Spicoli is my Co-Pilot".

I love that kid!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007 is an Idea

One of my main jobs at work isn’t doing what I was hired to do. I was hired to do sales and drive company profits. What I find myself doing most of the time is helping other people out who seem to have misplaced their common sense.

These colleagues of mine are not stupid people by any definition of the word, on the contrary, they seem to be some of the best informed and intelligent people I have ever had the pleasure to be around. They just seem to lose their common sense when they walk through the front doors. We have people who can build circuit boards for complex electronic systems, we have people who can write miles of code to make those circuit boards do what the engineer wants them to do, however none of these overly intelligent people can count, tell time, or trust themselves to be right.

So I spend a lot of my days just answering questions that these people already know the answer to, but are to unsure of themselves to make a decision. It is the bane of the corporate world. Most corporations regardless of size, or number of employees, or perceived size, have employees that will make critical and non-critical decisions for fear of making a mistake, or retribution after the mistake has been made.

Why do we allow people to not make mistakes? When did we as a society decide that making any mistake was tantamount to success? The old saying goes…”Everyone makes Mistakes”, and we all DO make them. But why is it when we get into a situation where a decision needs to be made, we all freeze like deer in the headlights or scatter like cockroaches?

When we were kids no one lambasted us for making mistakes, it was how we learned that the stove was hot and we would lose lots of skin and be in pain if we kept touching it, or that no matter how big the towel Mom tied around your neck , you were never going to fly off the roof like Superman. These were some pretty big lessons to learn for anyone, so why is it that we don’t allow smart people to make the occasional mistake so that they will learn?

In all reality what is the better lesson, you will get burned if you touch that hot stove, or “Holy Diver Johnson! You just said the word pork to our new Muslim Airline account!!, I’m sorry but for that you are fired and you will now lose everything!” I’m pretty sure that had we not learned to STOP touching hot things, we would be a nation of blistered, painful, angry people, who are all working for Johnson and Johnson making Bactine!

I realize that somewhere we need to draw the line and that there should be SOME mistakes that aren’t allowed to continue from childhood (DO you really have to touch the wet paint after reading the “Wet Paint” sign?), but there should be a life long learning curve, to help increase the self reliance that our parents all wanted us to have. It would also allow people to use their brains more and possibly increase the common sense factor because they wouldn’t feel like they were going to get yelled at for making a mistake, or not seeing a solution to a simple problem. If this was possible, then I would have more time to do my job and possibly make the realization that I may not be the smartest man on the planet, however I can still walk, chew gum, and help the corporately repressed all at the same time.

Monday, October 22, 2007


Oh Tony How do I hate thee??? Let me count the ways...

I know that the title of this sounds like I'm going to slam on the local Mexi-Maximilien But it isn't I am referring to Tony "I'm a complete cocksucker" Kornheiser.

This turbo charged, 3 piston ass hammer makes me turn the sound off on my TV every Monday Night for Monday Night Football. I can't stand his inane arguments where he thinks he knows more then ANYONE else on the planet about football. I wish he'd spontaneously explode in a greasy pile of bald, with a side of poorly dressed.

His personality is that of a kid who never got picked for kickball, and was beaten up daily for eating paste. So he had to get a degree in journalism to write about all the shit he couldn't do, but then his writing sucked so bad he had to get into radio and assault the ears of the nation with his bad voice, and worse commentary.

There isn't a bus big enough to do the damage I want when it hits him.

I miss Dennis Miller, at least his obscure facts and one liners were funny, even if most of America didn't understand them.

Fuck off you Leprechaun looking, scruffy assed, bald, ball licking, sword swallowing loud mouth prick.

Fucking Dumb Dumb.

Die Tony Die.

Now I need a question answered.

What do you do with a "boss" who's sales ideas are antiquated, and his skill set is mired in mediocrity? I have this friend who has been bitching about this guy for almost 6 months, and after several meetings and "pep talks" he has come to the conclusion that this tool is a jerk off of major proportions.

So what my friends and friends I have yet to meet...WWYD?

Sunday, October 21, 2007


FUCK.....OH..... YAY!

Kansas State lost by 2

Oakland lost by 2

OH WAIT!! I bet 3204.00 on Cincinnati!!

YAY Nightmare!

Thursday, October 18, 2007


Funky Butt Lovin'!

So again this week has decided to fly by and leave me sticky, broke and confused. I had been asked to PM a job for one of our oldest and dearest clients and really how could I refuse? I'm a company man, loyal to the end, (or if someone headhunts me to sell their shit for more money and a better benefits package)I don't mind the cat herding that comes with the stupidity of the gig, I thrive on doing stuff people question whether or not I can actually do it.

But it does take a ton of my time and gives me massive headaches.

But I should be done today. As a matter of fact I'm stalling by not going upstairs to re-start my day as the VP of New Business Development. I have been working my ass off for the last 18 days in a row! Last weekend Bouby and I cooked for 55 hungry Jaycee members at our bi-annual camp work weekend, so we cooked 5 meals, watched our 130 lb rottie get sick all weekend and she just last night held her food down,(I think someone poisoned her...well not really, but she sure puked a lot)and the week before we did yard work all weekend, so although I wasn't "technically" at work I really was working. and all this during the bow season for Bambi's Dad.

So I am looking forward to working smarter not harder and possibly sitting still for the rainy weekend that is before us.

I need coffee.

and a blow job...mostly coffee though.

Thursday, October 11, 2007


"Ain't none of em' dead"

That was the chilling quote that I heard on the TV News this morning from a young urbanite that claims to be a friend of the kid who shot four people then turned the gun on himself yesterday afternoon.

Why is that so chilling? Because he was defending his friend with that statement.

He told the reporter that he didn't think his fiend would do what he did but thought more along the lines of a fight. As his record indicates, he is a fighter, likes the blood, takes the pain. Anyway when asked by said reporter if he was upset that his friend did this the kid replied:

"Ain't none of em' dead"

"You don't think what your friend did was wrong"?

"Well I wish I could have talked to him first"

I have no idea what that means but I do think that this is an excellent example of how the youth of today have zero respect for life. Not just their parents and elders, hell every generation goes through that. But the serious lack of respect for the human life is what I'm seeing in the news. They...they being anyone of any color, race, creed, religion, sexual orientation, that feels the need to act like a crazed meth addled gorrilla.

This is a prime example of piss poor parenting. Everyone says "OOOHH but parenting is so hard, it isn't like in the old days...well yes it motherfucking is! If you would stop having kids when you can't fucking take proper care of them and then when you do have kids don't fucking hand them everything on a silver platter. Make them earn it. I don't know how many kids have been killed because they talk daddy into buying them a fucking motorcycle and they get the big assed 1200cc crotch rocket, and they DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING RIDE A MOPED!! and then they crash and die...parents blame someone else, fuck you. You're the asshole who bought your kid a 180mph death trap before you taught them how to ride it.

Sorry went off on a rant there. I'm just happy as shit I don't have to deal with this kind of stupidity, and besides last year I was voted most likely to shoot up my own work place, so I guess I'm safe for now.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


I can't get enough Demotovation!

This one just makes me giggle....not really demotivation, just funny.

Monday, October 08, 2007


A Causual Observation

Sunday, Bouby and I made a GREAT find while doing our Costco shopping. It is a virtual ghost town at 11:30am on the days that the Chiefs play at home. I say virtual because all of the non football loving gay men in KC were at Costco.

It was a "Who's Who" of Homo's in the KC Metro area. When I got to the check out there were so many of them talking to each other I thought every tire in the parking lot had a slow leak.

So seriously, if you want to do you bulk shopping in relative peace, do it on game day with the Queer Nation! They don't have any more sense then the other retarded mouth breathing mongoloids that grace that store on the weekends, and they will blatantly block the aisles to get the free samples as well, but at least they aren't a herd of old people talking to themselves, or on the cell phone wondering exactly how the little gnome in the tiny phone makes it possible to talk to someone clear over in Olathe while they are downtown...and without ANY wires either!

So anyway, here is some more weird shit I came Across on the Interweb (THANKS AL GORE!!)

Saturday, October 06, 2007


Well Crap...

I wouldn't say KU won...but K-state sure did lose the game. I was sitting in front of what has to be the biggest KU fan I have ever met and she had a voice that could crack crystal. Why was she the biggest KU fan I have ever seen you ask...well here is her back tattoo......

See what I mean? Quite the dedication huh?

Friday, October 05, 2007


Fun with a fat man!


It's Friday??

What the fuck happened to the week? Just 10 minutes ago it was Monday and I was still hungover. Jesus. This bullshit job I'm doing has me here 13-15 hours a day. As a matter of fact, I didn't even turn my computer on last night because when I got home I went to bed. I feel like I was hit by a truck.

But tomorrow I'm going to Manhappenis to watch the Cats eat some chicken hawk for lunch. I'm sure there will be loads of pictures so look for those as I sit still on my couch and watch Football on the TV.

Peace out Nuggas!

Monday, October 01, 2007


I did WHAT??

Had a blast this weekend I got to spend time with a friend of mine in Wichita that I get to spend very little time with and got to meet all of his crazy church buddies. One of which happened to be a kid that I played football against my first time through college. He was the quarterback, and is now an Associate Pastor...apparently THINKING he was God wasn't enough! I kid because I care. He wasn't that cocky, well not anymore then any other College QB.

But I didn't drink my weight in Vodka, ate stuff I shouldn't have and watched the K-STATE WILDCATS BEAT TEXAS LIKE A REDHEADED STEP CHILD ON A SATURDAY NIGHT! Number 7 my ass. I just can't wait to get those looser ass chicken hawcks from GAY U to come to Manhattan KS and get their custom made ass whipping Powercat style.

I'll be at that game and I hope to have a camera full of loverly co-eds gone wild.

The next two weeks have me stationed once again down in the install bay overseeing some minions to get a project out that we have been coddling along for 6 weeks. Naturally now we have to bend over backwards to meet the damned deadline. I always get the glamorous jobs!!

Here is some weird shit I have found on the web in the last couple weeks.