Tuesday, January 31, 2006

 

Memories....freaky frosted colored mamories like the corners of my mind..

Growing up in a smallish town in the Midwest during the late 70’s and early 80’s was an amazing time. We never had to worry about crazed maniacs kidnapping us or getting shot in a drive by. When we had a problem we used our fists or a board with nails in it and one time My older brother hit me with a vacuum cleaner pipe…You know the rainbow vacuum cleaners with those long chrome pipes, well I got one smashed across my ribs, I was going to block it but I figured I’d need my hands as soon as he was done swinging it. So I just let him hit me with it. Naturally the idiot step-dork came out at that time to find out what all of the hollering was about and I didn’t get to beat his ass.

But anyway, regardless of the “whole village” feeling we had, there was quite a few cracks for us to slip through. We weren’t the most evil kids growing up in Manhattan KS, but they were friends of ours. One of our favorite activities for the summer months when we were in grade school was believe it or not was school. Or more to the point breaking into the grade schools and seeing what the teachers and administrators left behind. It was also a time to try and get back anything that was taken from us on the playground, like pocket knives and comic books. We could always find an open window and that allowed us to wander around and rummage through the desks. It was great fun! But where we didn’t take anything of any value that wasn’t ours to begin with we did do other stuff on the last day of school to insure that we had a good summer.

See almost all of the schools in Manhattan were 2-3 stories tall, mostly 2 storied limestone structures. Lots of good foot holds and hand holds for climbing. We would spend the last two days of school on the playground kicking all sorts of ball onto the roof of the school. From footballs, to kick balls to soccer balls, if we could kick it it went on the roof. We would wait about a week for things to settle down and then we would scale the side of the building and get the balls.

Well I say “we” but I was always the guy that had to lift the little guys up far enough for them to get to the best hand holds, and then they would throw all of the balls down. But then we would have fun like no other.

One of the other fun things that summer time brought was Hide and Seek.

The neighborhood kids would all generally meet at our house every night or at the minimum every other night, at dark to play a MASSIVE game of hide and seek. We got so big that we had to limit the hiding area to ½ of one block. From the street to the ally on the south side of Humboldt between 9th and 10th streets was our hiding ground. First one found had to be “it”, and we would play until 2-3 am. I miss those days. No one giving us any shit, we ran the neighbor hood. It was almost like living in one of those ethnic neighborhoods in Manhattan NY, except we were all sizes, colors, and backgrounds. It was awesome!!

Nights warm as days, the air filled with the summer smells of flowers in bloom and new sunburns treated with a home remedy of white vinegar (don’t laugh it works!) and endless nights of playing with childhood friends. Could there be anything better?

Well not starting into a life of B&E at the age of 11 would have been ok but still probably not as much fun.

Monday, January 30, 2006

 

My head hurts, my feet stink and I don't love Jesus.....

THE WEEKEND IN REVIEW.

This weekend we did a lot!

On Friday we went to the casino and had a little fun , not much winning, but 3 hours of fun and cost me the same as two tickets and some popcorn at the movies. Did’nt play any table games because no one in KC knows what he fuck they are doing when they sit down at a blackjack table. If I have to explain one more fucking time that you are not playing against the other players and are only playing against the dealer I will have to start juggling loaded revolvers. That and when the dealer has 3-4-5-6 and you have 12-13-14-15-16-17 or more…YOU DON’T TAKE A FUCKING CARD!! AAAANNNDDD if you are the person p[laying closest to the dealer on their right side your left otherwise known as “Third Base” you are playing for the TABLE, and if you take the dealers bust card, I will be forced to beat you with a lead pipe ala Tonya Harding’s minions.

Then on Saturday we had a meeting with our Community service organization. It is kind of funny because we have this one lady who has been the leader for this branch for a long time and for five different times. She is soon to be without a position. Which is a good thing. Our chapter has survived with the minimum amount of members for a really long time. We have to give this woman credit for keeping this organization together for that long period of time. HOWEVER we are asking ourselves how much of the declining membership can be directly attributed to her poor leadership and over the top misplaced enthusiasm. Basically she is a nit wit.

Anyway we had our strategic planning session and budgetary review. It was a hoot there was sausage balls and a comfy couch. We also discovered some interesting facts after the meeting. There is a possibility our former president, MAY have been padding the budget and doing some creative accounting. She is hell bent for leather to keep the checkbooks out of the hands of those newly appointed. There are also some weird expenditures listed on the budget. Like $650.00 for postage. We don’t mail anything, where did that money go? And a whopping 150.00 for the web page. The web page costs us 60 bucks and the up keep should be donated by the member in charge of the web page. More interesting questions…not accusations mind you, just questions.

Sunday…well, Sunday we drove to Emporia to give Lucy( what the new family decided to name the Rottweiller) to her new parents. She was pretty excited and I know the family was. We are a little sad, but she will get more love from a 7 and 10 year old then she would from a couple of 30 something’s.

I also did order some booze online, and if you ever wanted to do that let me tell you how easy it was and cheap!! I got 2 bottles of Stubbs Rum, which I can’t get here in the Midwest, for 5.99/bottle (.750ml) and almost the same for shipping. Had I needed a case the shipping would have been cheaper per bottle but I don’t think Bouby would be in favor of me having a full case of rum laying about the house.

Thought for the day:
Bull riders may possibly be the toughest guys on the planet for about 8 seconds, but after the rodeo, in the bar they are just more little guys with a Napoleon complex.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

 

This Gene Pool needs a new life guard

There is a story on the morning news here in KC that has me baffled. According to the news people there Are Three ladies who are looking for a traveling door to door salesman who has left them with a skin rash and a permanent reminder of how stupid people in this world really are.

What was this man selling? What could possibly be a product that gives a skin rash and is permanent?


Yes you are correct if you said a tattoo.


A FUCKING TRAVELING DOOR TO DOOR TATTOO ARTIST?

Are you fucking kidding me? What sort of white trash do you have to be to think to yourself, “A door to door tattoo artist!! What an excellent business idea I must have one!” I mean really! There is a very obvious reason why this profession is state and federally regulated. It needs to be done in sanitary conditions with a trained professional.

Just because Uncle Jimmy spent 3-5 in the pokey doesn’t mean that he is a trained professional, I don’t care what the ex-cons say about his ability.

Take a beautician for example, it takes twice as long to learn to cut hair as it does to become a cop…do you know why? Because more people get their hair cut then get arrested, so the odds of a fuck up and a frivolous law suit are smaller.

So I think this story is less then news and shouldn’t be used as news unless it is used to show people who to avoid because they ARE the dumbest people on the planet and a skin rash and a series of bad tattoos is a good example of social Darwinism.

Someone please put some chlorine in the Gene Pool I think the dumb algae is clogging up the filter.


Tuesday, January 24, 2006

 

My little Girl has a new home!!

Maizey (Or whatever her name really is) has found a home!!

I have a friend of mine from high school who is going to take her to Wichita an turn her loose on the streets to run free and look for the elusive red dot from the laser pointer!

Ok not really “J” has a two kids just the right ages (10 and 7) and they are going to end up killing this dog with love. I hope she has a digital camera I want to see menay pics of them kids hugging on my little girl.





Work is making me crazy right now. I can’t elaborate because I can’t type that long, needless to say I wish it was already Friday.

Can I get an Amen?

Sunday, January 22, 2006

 

I'M HUNG LIKE EINSTEIN, AND SMART AS A HORSE.

Has anyone else noticed that lack of updating on the weekends? I guess it just proves that old theory about how much blogging is done at work and much how much money is being lost by lack of productivity during working hours ( I just spent 20 mins looking for those stats, and then I got bored and stopped looking, but I bet it is a lot) So I was just sitting here thinking…..what am I not doing right, Or am I right and the rest of the world is FUBAR? But I like writing in the morning on the weekends when I first get up.

I have been getting up at 5-5:30 for as long as I can remember (unless that is when I was coming home) and not very many people are up, or at least not the people I like to hang out with. I’m sure that I could go to the waffle house and hang with the old bastards club so I could discuss the flood of 93 and the storm of the century, but is that really something a 38 year old boy should be doing?

I mean really there is still some porn out there I haven’t seen and I’m not the Diablo II champion of the world yet so I got some good options here. But I also like to sit here and hunt and peck my way through a posting so that my life (or lack there of) is chronicled for all eternity. This is really my baby. My legacy…the thing that will be here long after I’m gone, and that is reassuring, makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

The weekend was the very first one we spent under complete slothery in a very, very long time. We had nothing to do and all weekend to do it and that is how we spent it. We needed groceries and I went to the store but all that required was a teeth brushing and some pants, other then that we were in our jimmies all weekend. And you know something it felt pretty good.

Today of course we are watching the football. The two championships are being played out to see who Pittsburgh will play in the superbowl, yes it is presumptuous, but if they play ½ as good this week as they played last week it is a no brainer. Besides I LOTHE Denver. I hope they die of gonorrhea and rot in hell……….want a cookie?

We still have the dog.

We have started calling her Maizey. I don’t know why or what it means..it could be an old Indian word meaning corney…I don’t know, but we are still looking for a good home for this beauty.

She is so smart, and strong and healthy and funny. She is one of those laser pointer chasing dogs and it cracks me up. And she does it with gusto! She almost ran UP a tree trying to get that stupid little red dot. I almost choked. So if there is anyone who needs a GREAT dog let me know I got one…or if you want a not so great dog…well I’ll keep the good one you can have the dumb one and we’ll call it even.

*PS*
I'm watching "while you're out" and I swar to god there is nothing funnier then watching a homo chase a football!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

 

I found Jesus - he was behind the sofa all the time

Would someone please go visit my friend Frog Pajammas…she is listed on the favorites as “The Hammer” she is lonely and needs some attention….she is a attention whore like that. I’m kidding she’s just a whore.

No wait, again I tease, she is the OCG the Original Cubical Gangsta and she drinks like a fish! And is covered with Tattos, and her boyfriend is the Number ONE piercer In KC two years running. So as you can imagine she has trouble with metal detectors and had to quit her job as an electro-magnet operator. So there I’m done pimping out my Ho’s….for now.

I’m sitting here listening to some Barry White and grooving with the big man’s sounds and I can’t help to think that NONE of the people in the last five years of American Idol would ever be as good, or as cool as Barry, Those fucking loser kids that win, couldn’t clean Barry’s colostomy bag. Not even Clay, regardless of how bad he wants to.

We watched American Idol last night, it was only our second year, watching it and neither me or Bouby could believe this was it’s 5th year. That pile of shit/angry British guy show, has been on the air for five fucking years! For the love of Christ someone put a fucking bullet in my ear please!

Moving on to another British guy, this one not so angry, as he is dead, but he at least has a legacy that will surely live on forever, unless we figure out what “42” means. I stumbled across this little gem of a web site that had me laughing out loud! Not just because it is a funny tribute but because it really has a lot of truth to it. So go here I’ll wait.



Back, ok good. Douglas Adams was a beacon of light in a otherwise long list of dark and dreary high school reads. All of the lit classes I took and not one of them covered humorous British writers and their dry but totally funny wit. Oh NO, our British lit class in High School covered shit like Shakespeare, and Beowulf, and other mind numbing books from all over Europe. We also read Homer, but I’m not sure why I have never signed up for a “Greek Lit” class, even if they had one I’m pretty sure that the title would have scared me away, sounds too much like butt sex manuals and who needs that kind of gender pressure in high school?

So anyway ,mark you calendars and remember ”Don’t Panic”.


Oh and I also found a stray dog yesterday, I also thought I had a home for her, but the guys OTHER rottweiler doesn't like her. But here is a picture of her anyway.


Tuesday, January 17, 2006

 

Click Click BOOM!

I am a bit flabbergasted this morning, over something AI heard on the news. It seems that there were protesters at the execution in California last night. I know that isn’t shocking, there are many pro-prison overpopulationists out there and they will protest everything and anything that involves the removal of animals from our way of life. I don’t understand them I don’t try and understand them, I just know that when the state has all of the evidence and a guilty verdict, and this “person” is sentenced to die, then they should.

If my Rottwieler got out and killed some babies, or mauled an old woman or two, they wouldn’t lock her up and let her live out the rest of her days laying around a nice clean kennel and eating kibble all day…hell no they gas her. End of story.

But for some reason when a human animal goes on a killing spree well, now that is a horse of a different color now isn’t it. They have YEARS and YEARS to try and appeal or play off of the good nature of the liberals who think that this “person” is or will be a productive member of society. They have laws protecting the criminals more then they protect the victim. When I get to be in charge of this shit, murderers and rapists beware. If you are convicted of either of these crimes regardless of age or mental capacity you will have 2 weeks and 1 day before you are executed. One week to make your peace with whatever god you want, and one week to make peace with your family and the victim’s family and the last day….well it will be your last day.

BANG.

Clean up firing range 4.

*picks up soapbox*

Back to the original train of thought, the protesters were at the prison last night because they thought that the death sentence was cruel and unusual punishment. Clarence Ray Allen was 76 years old was legally blind, nearly deaf and in a wheelchair. His shyster lawyers tried to raise two claims never before endorsed by the high court: that executing a frail old man would violate the U.S. Constitution's ban on cruel and unusual punishment, and that the 23 years he spent on death row were unconstitutionally cruel as well. I agree on one part of that living for 23 years on death row was a mistake, he should have been killed 22 years ago. This motherfucker was serving a life sentence, for murder, get this “Allen went to prison for having his teenage son's 17-year-old girlfriend murdered for fear she would tell police about a grocery-store burglary.” And then “…when he masterminded the murders of three innocent young people and conspired to attack the heart of our criminal justice system,".

And there was protesters.

When do we draw the line? Guilty of one murder, masterminds three others FROM INSIDE THE PRISON!, and yet some people say that executing him was cruel and unusual punishment. Did he give the same considerations to the 4 young people he had snuffed? FUCK NO!! I say justice was 23 years two weeks and one day to long, in coming.


I hope he is getting ass raped by satan right now! Rot in HELL Clarence.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

 

Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors

Bouby and I have joined a community service organization. We did this a couple of months ago at her fathers urging, not to mention him paying for it, well for the first year anyway. So last night was our 2006 Presidential Inauguration party and we had a blast!!

In this organization we follow “Roberts rules of Order” and it seems kind of silly but it is over a 100 year old org. and who am I to buck tradition. It is really just a loosely veiled drinking society filled with people from the ages of 18-40 that on occasion do really really good things followed closely by a party/drinking binge that reminds me vaguely of the fraternities I used to serve when I was in Chico.

So it feels like I’m getting to relive my youth, and I can have more fun this time because I know how many drinks I can have before I go from mildly funny to slobbering idiot. Last night was an absolute HOOT! The best part however was that we got rid of our current president who was a person who is stuck in the 80”s and is TERRIFIED of technology. She is so scared of technology that she refused to have any contact information for the officers of this organization on the website. She has put all of our money, I say our money, because I am a member of good standing and I want to, in a savings account.

A plain old savings account that pays it’s holder a whooping .028% return annually. No money market, no CD’s , no high yield anything. It makes me mad when I KNOW that there are better options out there and we are LOSING money by being afraid of technology. Losing money to the tune of 2K a year just by putting it into an online savings account.

NON PAID ADVERTSIMENT!!

If you haven’t all ready set up and ING Direct account you need to do it right now. You don’t have to have a minimum balance, there are no fees coming or going and it pays 3.8%. NOT .028%. They also offer CD’s and other banking options, so check them out at ing.com,(stupid fucking links wouldn't work) you will not be disappointed.

Back to the story at hand:

So our NEW prez is young, bubbly, energetic and seems like she has a good head on her shoulders. It seems like we will be able to grow this organization back to the point of state recognition and this time in a good way. It seems that our past president had made a less then favorable impression, and the state president is HAPPY that she is gone.

If you are wondering what this organization is email me and I’ll tell you all about it and where you, yes you can join your local chapter since we are not only national but international as well, I believe we are in 32 countries but I can’t remember for sure and I’m to lazy to look.


Unplanned segue.

I think that as a society we are traveling more toward the “Demolition Man” style of living then the “Logan’s Run” style of society. Last night the majority of our after meeting conversation revolved around commercials and which ones we liked and which ones made our skin crawl. We talked about commercials and jingles, and other advertising nonsense for almost an hour. As someone who has a degree in advertising, I found it fucking awesome! The best part, most of the people I sat with including myself could only remember about ¼ of the products that these commercials were advertising.

Did these ads fail?

Or were the ads a success and the products fail?

Since we can remember the ads and not the products I think that the products themselves failed. Yes the ads are supposed to help push the projects and make the sale and empower the consumer, but when they only entertain and make themselves memorable does that mean they are failures? The people who make the products would say yes, the ads failed, the people who made that ads would say the opposite.

The weird part to the thought process is that I noticed that the more creepy the ad was the more we remembered the product. Take for instance the new Burger King ads. That big headed king guy that shows up in peoples beds and outside their windows and portraying old football stars is the creepiest thing since the dog headed people selling the dodge caravan 5-6 years ago, but we all knew the product and remembered the commercials.

The moral to the story is weird works and weird sells. So if you are starting up a business or thinking of re-branding your current business remember this and you will do better than if you are honest and straight forward with your advertising.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

 

When I was little I wanted to be black....Just for the cooking though. And hair styles

Last night I saw an ad for a new reality TV show that I just can’t wait to see! It has to be the end all be all reality shows ever.

Are you ready?

Has anyone else heard of this?

Trading faces:
A twist on race
FX transforms two families
By MARISA GUTHRIE
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

FX takes on the controversial issue of race in a new documentary series that puts two families - one white, one African-American - in the same house for six weeks.
That in itself is no great innovation. But "Black. White." - which is targeted for a March premiere - uses makeup to change the color of each family's skin.
"The question is: In 2005, does race matter," said executive producer R.J. Cutler. "Of course it does. But we tend not to really confront it. Racism is prevalent, and white America and black America are two different places. The only way they're really going to become one is if white people can find a way to see the world through the eyes of black people and vice versa."
The six-hour series chronicles the daily lives of the Sparks, an African-American family from Atlanta, and the Wurgels, a white family from Santa Monica, Calif.
For six weeks last summer, they lived together in Tarzana, a middle-class section of Los Angeles. Producers filmed them as they went about their lives in their new skin, which was courtesy of famed Hollywood makeup artist Keith VanderLaan ("The Passion of the Christ").
According to Cutler, "We spent the better part of a year ... designing the makeup, which has the unprecedented bar of needing to succeed not only under the scrutiny of the cameras but to succeed under the scrutiny of another human being who would be standing 3 feet away from you."
Cutler also brought in actor and musician Ice Cube ("Barbershop") to work on the series as a producer.
"I felt it was important to partner up with somebody who had a different perspective and was coming from a different point of view," he said. "He is one of the most powerful and articulate observers of the African- American experience."
Cutler brushed off the notion that "Black. White." could be viewed as a distasteful throwback to the days when minstrel shows were part of the entertainment scene.
"The fact that people are made up is not inherently problematic," said Cutler.
Sociologists tend to agree.
"The whole minstrel analogy, I think, is stretched and lame," said Daniel Monti, professor of sociology at Boston University. "There are movies in which black people pretend to be white and white people pretend to be black in mass entertainment.
"In terms of its larger impact, it depends on how people see it. If the viewer looks upon it as a bad joke or a potentially good idea gone bad, then there are all sorts of opportunities to define it as mischief at best and insulting at worse."
Cutler envisions plenty of opportunities for similar social experiments.
"Young, old, male, female, the concept of living in someone else's skin," he said, "there are many possibilities. I think anybody who's interested in entertaining and engaging and dramatic television is going to watch this. This is dramatic storytelling, and at the center of it are big, fat, important issues."
HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THAT!!

I can’t wait to see Laquisha get that loan at the bank based on the whiteness of her skin, or that Brent gets to live in a groovy “ghetto chic” apt in downtown East L.A.

This shit could set back race relations a thousand years!

Or maybe it will actually dispose of the “MAN” myth, and some of these lazy non working “I am owed something” motherfuckers will get off of the couch, stop the drugs and alcohol, and find a fucking job. Making themselves a better person.

But then again, I’m guessing that the people that really need to see this show probably don’t have cable and if they do it is only used to watch YO MTV Cribs.

I hate it when I pass judgment on folks.

OOHH and since everyone else was saying that it was national de-lurking week I didn’t think I needed to, but I guess I do. So all of you people out there from the Department of veteran affairs and bureau of Indian affairs and anyone else I see stopping by, shit yo drop me a note!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

 

Jesus loves you. But I'm his favorite

What do you do in the shower?

I generally do all of the cleaning and shampooing and rinsing, but I also brush the teeth and shave the face. Am I the only one who takes care of all of the bathroom activities in the shower?

I once read that you should shave your face right after a nice hot shower. And being the lazy guy I am I thought why wait? So the next time that I showered I brought in my razor and shaving cream. It worked so well that I have done it ever since. I have however used a variety of different substances for “shaving cream” and NO not that NGD you perv! I’m talking about all of the other stuff that shows up in the shower, like different shampoos and bar soap, and conditioner.

Conditioner ? yes conditioner. I once again was thinking and I know, twice in a lifetime what are the odds! But anyway I was thinking, since conditioner makes your hair soft and silky, why wouldn’t that work on the beard?

Well I’m here to tell you that it does work on the beard and it works VERY well. If you don’t want to stop spending money on shaving cream by all means don’t but if you have the conditioner, give it a shot.

**CAUTION!! UNPLANNED SEGUE**

I think I need more money. Does anyone know of a job I can do from my house that makes tons of money and requires little to no work on my part? I thought about prostitution but firstly Bouby wouldn’t go for that and secondly I don’t know that I would make a good prostitdude. I mean I’m not a chiseled roman god, nor am I Duece Bigelow, so I think my clients would be few and far between, well as long as I stay on the straight track, if I was to accept all monies from ANYONE, yes I could make extra money but…EWW gay fat man love? For money? That would just be nasty. I can understand it if it was for love but just for money, Ummm NO THANK YOU. And No I’m not gay, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that….with being gay I mean, not with me not being gay. You know what I fucking mean.

SHUT UP!

Speaking of all things wrong. That asshole preacher Fred “I like it up the ass” Phelps is going to picket the funeral of those poor miners in Virginia. Why do you ask? Well it is because he is a complete fucking hand job and needs his ass kicked. I would love to see him and his entire family “meet god” real fucking soon so he can see exactly what they think about him and his “church”. I’m not sure where it says in the bible “thou shalt commit atrocities in my name” but I’m sure it is in there somewhere otherwise Fred “pound my asshole like a prisoner” Phelps wouldn’t be teaching the baby to hate.

Personally I think he likes to be on TV. If the news stations would just agree to stop putting his name and his retardedness on the air, then he would go away. His whole congregation is just his family, no one from the outside world is a part of his church so if the 20 of them want to drive around and act like dummies, well more power to them, just don’t show them on TV that way there will be less witnesses.

AMEN! Can I get a Witness!


Oh and this brings us to our classic art time. Please take a moment and enjoy this painting from the baroque period.

This is "Allegory"

ENJOY!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

 

Carpe Diem = Seize the day. Carp In Denim = Fish in pants

Whew what a long 30 days!


So how is everything? Well it is stable as can be expected and G-ma is adjusting, slowly but steadily.

I have no idea what is going on in the world but I do know this…George Bush is the Dumbest president we have ever had!

I have nothing else to say about him, I just think he is retarded.

I also know that the Loc Nar is the Sum of all Evil. (bonus points for anyone who knows where that is from! NO FAIR GOOGLING!!)

My younger brother know stops by here once in a while, He just lurks and I doubt he even reads the the comments, but he was groovy enough to drop a phone call to Bouby and give condolences to her concerning G-pa’s recent demise. I love him for that, it is what makes him groovy. He doesn’t call me unless there is something heavy he wants moved but that is ok I only call him for my dangerous engineering queries, so I guess it works out all the same in the end.

I have been getting some other groovy visitors lately as well someone is stopping by from the Bureau of Indian Affairs, as well as the Department of Veteran affairs, and a special someone whom I would LOVE to meet in real life, from a investment corporation. If any of these people are you, drop me an email and lets chat….I got questions!


Does everyone check their stats like that? Or is it just me?

Oh and Welcome Home BLUE MEANY!

Friday, January 06, 2006

 

Celebrate Life

Why do people mourn?

I was told this morning that mourning was a flaw of the human race because we have the ability to reason. Without reason we would have better acceptance of the inevitable.

I find truth in this statement but it doesn’t tell anyone why we mourn. I know that it is a very grief filled time when you lose someone but that doesn’t mean that they are going to be forgotten, and I think that is the biggest gift to give the deceased as well as the bereaved.

To celebrate life should be the battle cry during the inevitable time of death. We should be telling humorous stories or heart wrenching tales of valor, in short remembering their life with all of the gusto that they put into living it. If we can look at their not being here as the next the journey in a new life, or some other new age bullshit, or even if we just look beyond death and see them and what they accomplished while they were here, on this plane of existence, people would be less scared of dying and possibly less scared of living on.

To celebrate the life lived is how everyone needs to look at the death of a loved one. Fill your hearts with the joy with the memories made not sorrow for the memories not made or left unfinished. Don’t dwell on the final days of someone’s life where they stayed in the hospital, or laid in bed staring blankly at the ceiling. Remember when they laughed and made the rest of the world laugh with them.

There is nothing greater in this universe then the sound of laughter. Even inappropriate laughter is funny sometimes.

I remember when my own grandpa died of lung cancer. Melvin was a cantankerous old farmer who spent the majority of his life working, drinking and smoking cigarettes. Not necessarily in that order, so it was of no surprise when he was diagnosed with cancer. We all loved this old badger like asshole, because even with his harsh exterior he was basically the most genuine man I have ever met, he just didn’t put up with any shit. I’ll write more about Melvin later, but I wanted to tell you about inappropriate laughter.

Me my brothers and my cousins were the pallbearers all 10 of us, we sat 5 to a side in a semi circle shaped church while the viewing was happening before we went to the grave site. At one point soon after we all got sat down I glanced up at my older brother and instantly mouthed to each other “You can’t always get what you want”.

For those of you who haven’t seen the movie “the Big Chill” you will have no idea the comedy behind this statement, those of you who have seen this movie will know how hard it was to stifle the laughter under several coughing fits and leg pinching. After that though it was a lot easier to handle the rest of the funeral because we were thinking of the FUNNY and FUN times we had with Melvin.

Laugh, love and live. Mourning should be observed between the hours of 12:00am and 12:00 pm.


The Visitation is this evening....I hope there will be a small amount of laughter somewhere even if it is inappropriate.

Monday, January 02, 2006

 

Good Bye and God Bless

The call came in lat night at 11:40 pm. G-ma was upset and we were to head over to her house.

G-pa had passed.

55 years of marriage ended (We finally got all of the facts straight)
81 years of life on this planet.
A WWII vet, who was being trained as a naval aviator G-pa, never saw the European theater, and when he got out of the Navy he married G-ma. They had a wonderful life and from what I have seen there wasn’t a single person who ever met him or talked to him that didn’t like him from the second he started talking.

He was a Great man. He will be missed greatly and I’m sure he is in Heaven fixing St. Pete’s lawn mower, and making friends with all of the football players he used to watch and cheer for. Derek Thomas is surely talking defense with him while sipping a beer and laughing at the rest of us humans that are still confined to our ethereal existence.

I am a better person for having know him I know that much.

Thank you one and all for the well wishes, good vibes and prayers that you have sent Bouby and her family. It meant a lot to her.

There will be a lull here for a few days while we get G-ma organized.

Hugs all around.


Nightmare