Friday, January 06, 2006


Celebrate Life

Why do people mourn?

I was told this morning that mourning was a flaw of the human race because we have the ability to reason. Without reason we would have better acceptance of the inevitable.

I find truth in this statement but it doesn’t tell anyone why we mourn. I know that it is a very grief filled time when you lose someone but that doesn’t mean that they are going to be forgotten, and I think that is the biggest gift to give the deceased as well as the bereaved.

To celebrate life should be the battle cry during the inevitable time of death. We should be telling humorous stories or heart wrenching tales of valor, in short remembering their life with all of the gusto that they put into living it. If we can look at their not being here as the next the journey in a new life, or some other new age bullshit, or even if we just look beyond death and see them and what they accomplished while they were here, on this plane of existence, people would be less scared of dying and possibly less scared of living on.

To celebrate the life lived is how everyone needs to look at the death of a loved one. Fill your hearts with the joy with the memories made not sorrow for the memories not made or left unfinished. Don’t dwell on the final days of someone’s life where they stayed in the hospital, or laid in bed staring blankly at the ceiling. Remember when they laughed and made the rest of the world laugh with them.

There is nothing greater in this universe then the sound of laughter. Even inappropriate laughter is funny sometimes.

I remember when my own grandpa died of lung cancer. Melvin was a cantankerous old farmer who spent the majority of his life working, drinking and smoking cigarettes. Not necessarily in that order, so it was of no surprise when he was diagnosed with cancer. We all loved this old badger like asshole, because even with his harsh exterior he was basically the most genuine man I have ever met, he just didn’t put up with any shit. I’ll write more about Melvin later, but I wanted to tell you about inappropriate laughter.

Me my brothers and my cousins were the pallbearers all 10 of us, we sat 5 to a side in a semi circle shaped church while the viewing was happening before we went to the grave site. At one point soon after we all got sat down I glanced up at my older brother and instantly mouthed to each other “You can’t always get what you want”.

For those of you who haven’t seen the movie “the Big Chill” you will have no idea the comedy behind this statement, those of you who have seen this movie will know how hard it was to stifle the laughter under several coughing fits and leg pinching. After that though it was a lot easier to handle the rest of the funeral because we were thinking of the FUNNY and FUN times we had with Melvin.

Laugh, love and live. Mourning should be observed between the hours of 12:00am and 12:00 pm.

The Visitation is this evening....I hope there will be a small amount of laughter somewhere even if it is inappropriate.

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