Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Jesus loves you. But I'm his favorite

What do you do in the shower?

I generally do all of the cleaning and shampooing and rinsing, but I also brush the teeth and shave the face. Am I the only one who takes care of all of the bathroom activities in the shower?

I once read that you should shave your face right after a nice hot shower. And being the lazy guy I am I thought why wait? So the next time that I showered I brought in my razor and shaving cream. It worked so well that I have done it ever since. I have however used a variety of different substances for “shaving cream” and NO not that NGD you perv! I’m talking about all of the other stuff that shows up in the shower, like different shampoos and bar soap, and conditioner.

Conditioner ? yes conditioner. I once again was thinking and I know, twice in a lifetime what are the odds! But anyway I was thinking, since conditioner makes your hair soft and silky, why wouldn’t that work on the beard?

Well I’m here to tell you that it does work on the beard and it works VERY well. If you don’t want to stop spending money on shaving cream by all means don’t but if you have the conditioner, give it a shot.


I think I need more money. Does anyone know of a job I can do from my house that makes tons of money and requires little to no work on my part? I thought about prostitution but firstly Bouby wouldn’t go for that and secondly I don’t know that I would make a good prostitdude. I mean I’m not a chiseled roman god, nor am I Duece Bigelow, so I think my clients would be few and far between, well as long as I stay on the straight track, if I was to accept all monies from ANYONE, yes I could make extra money but…EWW gay fat man love? For money? That would just be nasty. I can understand it if it was for love but just for money, Ummm NO THANK YOU. And No I’m not gay, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that….with being gay I mean, not with me not being gay. You know what I fucking mean.


Speaking of all things wrong. That asshole preacher Fred “I like it up the ass” Phelps is going to picket the funeral of those poor miners in Virginia. Why do you ask? Well it is because he is a complete fucking hand job and needs his ass kicked. I would love to see him and his entire family “meet god” real fucking soon so he can see exactly what they think about him and his “church”. I’m not sure where it says in the bible “thou shalt commit atrocities in my name” but I’m sure it is in there somewhere otherwise Fred “pound my asshole like a prisoner” Phelps wouldn’t be teaching the baby to hate.

Personally I think he likes to be on TV. If the news stations would just agree to stop putting his name and his retardedness on the air, then he would go away. His whole congregation is just his family, no one from the outside world is a part of his church so if the 20 of them want to drive around and act like dummies, well more power to them, just don’t show them on TV that way there will be less witnesses.

AMEN! Can I get a Witness!

Oh and this brings us to our classic art time. Please take a moment and enjoy this painting from the baroque period.

This is "Allegory"


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