SMELLS LIKE BULLSHIT

When we last left our tiny Heroine she was hanging on by a simple thread....

The little one is proving to be quite the fighter. I went to visit the family this morning and got the low down.

She went down and went down hard on Saturday...wait let me start over...Thursday the moved her out of ICU, Friday Mom asked if they could go ahead with the shunt surgery, because her vitals were dropping, No replied the evil Dr. (ok they are the furthest people from evil, but hey every story needs a protagonist) So they waited and Mom watched the monitor, not sleeping, not eating, just watching the monitor and praying.

Saturday- vitals looked worse then ever and again Mom asked if they could please do the surgery NOW rather then the scheduled Monday. NO replied the evil surgery attendent( that makes me feel better, some faceless bureaucrat that is the best in evil!) So Saturday afternoon the little one decided that she was ready to go home and so she left. Not wanting her to go Moms put the brakes on her depature and they revived her and upgraded her back to the comfy ICU bassinett and the hot, seriously hot, nurse type people who take care of sick babies.

Sunday morning, when tiny was stable, they opened her up from crotch to neck and butterflied her chest open to get at the offending organ. After a 4 hour surgery the stint, or shunt I don't know which one is what, was in place they packed her full of cotton and wraped her up. Apparently they leave the littler patients open for easy access.

So I stopped by this mornign and got the details. They had just finished stiching her back up, her stats never played roller coaster like they said the would so she is resting peacefully recovering from open heart surgey and all is good. She will need to come back for a month long stay in 8 months to fix the actual problem but this way she is going to be bigger, stronger, faster, and wait...she is not Lee Majors...Anyway she should be at home with the family in 7-10 days barring any unforeseen new traumas!

Thanks for all the groovy thoughts, prayers and well wishes!

Much love to my Peeps!

This morning on my way into work I was juuust entering the 435 loop where I exit 35 north, by Claycomo, and as I was driving down the ramp I notice a semi in the far left lane. Now at this point in the highway system I know that he is coming from 35 North and that is his only place to be. So as I start to accelerate to the desired speed limit, of 70 mph, I see that he is indeed playing buy the correct rules of the road, by entering into the center lane as to not block speedier traffic, for that is the fast lane!

As my little sporty SUV starts to climb the long hill by Worlds of Fun, I get almost even with this guys bumper when he decides this is the best time to go ahead and turn on his turn signal and start to move over into my lane. It was almost simultaneously really, flashy lights, tires near my fender. As I proceed to lock up the brakes on my car causing it to swerve and me to swear loudly, my road rage is ignited to the same temperature as the surface of the sun. I scamper into the center lane which thankfully was unoccupied ( usually when I need this to occur there is a van full of nuns singing show tunes in my way...today they were thankfully still at the free continental breakfast the La Quinta)

So as my blood boils and my foot takes on the properties of lead, I drive up next to the guy and we have a moment of non verbal communication as he wonders why I was blowing my horn at him and giving him the finger.

At that point I was done. My day had it's little jump start of adrenalin, I told Mr. Trucker McFuckstick what I thought of his driving and I was continuing on to my place of work. Easy as Pie.

Not quite.

Mr Trucker McStoolpusher, the Asshammer of I-35 who BTW is driving a red and white RUAN Trucking company rig, decides that it is in his best interest to blow his big diesel ground shaking horn, (That I secretly covet and want to put one in my little sporty SUV) and that my friends is when all rational thought left the confines of my pea sized lizard brain and I took reckless action.

Here is some background. My folks owned a livestock auction or a sale barn when I was a kid, one of my dad's closest friends owns a truck line where he worked on and off when he needed work. My dad ran a truck line for 15 years, and I worked for him on more then one occasion to make money for college. My uncle and his son mu cousin run a two truck independent line, needless to say I have been around truckers and trucks my entire life. Let me tell you one thing that pisses them off more then anything, and that is being slowed down for any reason. Whether it is traffic, a wreck, a big hill, or what not.

At this point I am about 30 yards ahead of him, and now in a super bad mood. So in my infinite wisdom, clouded only by my rage, I jerk my vehicle into his lane,
and stand on my brake pedal. the tail end of my car almost comes off the ground I brake so hard. At the apex of my braking skills I switch pedals and stand on the gas rocketing away from the now VERY AWAKE, and extremely pissed off, cock ass of a truck driver, whom I hope lost his on time bonus. As I was speeding away I saw him frantically try and down shift to keep his momentum going up that hill. Unfortunately he didn't have the reflexes or the horse power to pull it off, so as I sped away I gave a little wave in my rear window wishing him a safe and happy trip to deliver his cargo.

I just hope that the next time he sees me I get the opportunity to show him my batting skills. Or maybe he would like a battle of the Dozens...I can play that too!

Your Mommas so fat I saw her ride by on that last cattle truck.

Cocksucking Doorknob.

My pops called today to see if I had heard anything from the Nephew about the little one. I told him it had been quiet since Friday, when I was told that she was doing amazing and they were just waiting to see when they could do the surgery.

Apparently I have been out of the loop.

He talked to my Step Sister, Nephews Mom, and the little one crashed and crashed hard on Saturday. Crashed to the point of losing her once only to be brought back just in time for emergency surgery to try and keep her on this plane of existence.

Again, I have to ask you to send your happiest thoughts and prayers, (if so inclined) to my Nephews family. Our little cousin is really struggling and she needs to know that she is needed here.

Thanks in advance.

Much love to my peeps,

Nightmare

Today is Older Brothers Birthday.

HAPPY BIG GAY BIRTHDAY YOU FUCKING QUEEN!


Much love Brother!

Nightmare

Things that are putting a smile on my face today;
1) Dog is limping less
2) Little one is OUT of the ICU and into a regular room.
3) Isn't that enough? what do you want from me blood? I'm only human here I can't fix the weather. When my LB finishes his evil robot to take over the galaxy I'll remember this and you won't get to hang at the overlords palace!

So today will be more than likely a less stressful day for Moi. At least if fucking better, I don't know how much of this crap my old ass can take. Constant headache, stiff neck and shoulders from hunching them up in worry...(Well that and practicing my Snidely Whiplash hand rubbing thing for when the LB Overlord releases the robot!)

We aren't all the way out of the woods with the tot yet. The are going to decide when they want to do the surgery today. I'm voting for right now, but fuck I don't have a say in the matter I'm not an MD (I'm 3 credits short of my MD..fucking college algebra) So as soon as they know that we can start the long road of recovery and playing like a baby should.

And as far as the dog goes, well we have started to see her as what she really is. A cranky old woman with arthritis who doesn't want to take her meds. So we have a thrice a day dance party with me and her going in circles whilst I jam a plastic tube filled with her pain meds past her overly strong tongue and down her throat so she won't swell up and die. Yeah I know IT DOES sound like a blast and I encourage anyone who wants to come over and have this much fun to go ahead and come over! I can't believe I get to have this much fun three times a day.

Next week Aunt Polly says I get to whitewash the fence too! And I know that EVERYONE wants to have that kind of fun!

Well when I first wrote that word I was was contemplating all of the various meanings for it.

Stable.
1) A place to keep horses and other livestock.
2) A gang of hookers working under one pimp or a specific house.
3) Mentally competent, or at least "less" psychotic.
4) Doing better or at least no worse then before.

Definition number 4 is what we are working with today. Little one's lungs decided to play the Cartman game and they tried to say "Screw you I'm going home" and they picked up their ball and headed for the gate. fortunately the big assed doctor/linebackers were ready for such an assult and they snatched those lungs up and filled the full of 'roids and told them that they would either "Straighten up and fly right" or they would be sent to the lockeroom and loose their scholarships.

So they accepted the 'roids, and started to play nice with the other organs. We are now in a holding spiral, waiting.

as the cliche says "waiting is the hardest part". Any idea why that is a cliche? because when you are forced to wait, you worry and when you worry your mind makes shit up. It is too much to ask for someone to "stay positive" when a tiny baby is laid out on a table with more wiring in and around her then the fucking space shuttle. You can't help but play the "What if" game and it never starts with "what if all is well and she grows up to be the cure for cancer"

It never starts that way and that is why the waiting is the hardest part.

Thanks for all the good vibes and prayers. I know the God of Thunder has no need for such a young warrior child, so he will not send Loki for a quick visit.

Again, THANK YOU ALL.

This will not be about my stubborn dog, whom we have tried just about every trick in the book to get her to take the medicine. We have tied hiding it in food, crushing it and mixing it with a pre-packaged gravy, I bought one of those pill tubes that I have used with great success with cattle and she will not allow it down into her throat far enough, and then thrashes about so violently we fear further injury.

No this is not about that drama.

My Pops called me yesterday morning and it seems that newest member of the ever expanding "breeder" side of the family tree is not doing so well. She is 5 weeks old and on Friday was a lovely shade of blue. Luckily the StNil (Step Niece in Law,yes it is a long story)was fed up with her daughters treatment and just so happened to see a different doctor that she was familiar with at a street festival. He glanced at the child and said 9 words that terrify all parents and most adults. "She is blue, take her to the hospital NOW"

So tearfully StNil, looked down at her other two daughters and said, "Mommy has to go." Thankfully she was standing in downtown of a village that is home to about 150 people 1/2 of them related to her husband, so the kids were in more danger of getting smothered with love then harmed in any way.

As StNiL, raced to the hospital, hubby was called and everyone met at the ER. Now some of you know that this end of the world there is isn't a lot of technology to be found, and sometimes they doctors aren't in the top 25% of their class...who am I kidding, the rural doctor is more than likely closer to the D student then the Auto Mechanic. Anyway this guy, I give him tons of credit, he knew when he was out of his league and proceeded to get the life flight on the line. It took an excruciatingly long time to coordinate the flight from BFE to Children's Mercy here in KC, but when it was said and done, and the little one was here, the crack staff of Children's mercy, wasted zero time in diagnosing, and treating the tiny princess.

Turns out that our little heroine, had a squirrely heart and all of the stuff was there but it was all backwards. My little fighter had lived for 5 weeks with a hole in her heart, (the good part) and heart valves that were reversed. So the blood wasn't getting to the right chamber for oxygen, and traveling down the right veins and arteries. The hole provided just enough mixed blood to keep this little gem alive. Yesterday morning at about 5:45, our little champ went under the knife for a preliminary work up of blasting a bigger hole in her heart and then monitoring her vitals as well as the use of a tiny respirator of which she slowly but surely was weaned off of within a matter of about 12 hours. I am happy to say that of last night she was sleeping pretty good and so were the parents. We now have to wait and see when the full blown transposition surgery will take place, they may do it this week they may wait until she is bigger.

Either way we may not be out of the woods but we can at least see the trail now. All you religious types throw an extra Hail Mary in the mix, and for those of you who follow a different path, send my nephew's family some groovy vibes, they sure could use the help.

***UPDATE***

I spoke too soon. She had a rough night and is now having trouble with her lungs. Please keep up the happy vibes! she needs them!

Well our dog is trying to respond to the drugs. She spends all day laying around the house, and when she goes out side she doesn't run and chase bugs, nor does she bark at the neighbor's dumb ass Lab. She just does her business and goes back inside, to lay on the floor. BUT when she is laying on the floor and you walk by she wags her whole body, sticks all 4 legs in the air and demands that you rub her belly. And I don't know if you have ever had a Rottweiler, but if not, let me tell you when she DEMANDS something you need to get it she is a 115 lb dog DOWN from 130, and let me tell you she thinks she is a PeekaPoo.

So we are going to continue to play with the meds, hoping we can find the magic mix to make her feel good. The surgery isn't and option, it is too expensive and she is too old. And more than likely it would kill her or put her through MORE pain then she has now. And typically the Rotties don't make it past 10-12 years, and she is definitely approaching that age range.

Thanks for all of the kind words I'll keep the peeps updated here!

Sometimes the choices that you need to make are of the suckiest ones ever.

About a week back our Rottwieller Jade, started limping about the house. Not a new problem she has a rough case of arthritis and we have been dealing with these flair ups for a couple of years. Normally the pain goes away and she is back to her lap dogesque ways in a matter of days. This time however it was taking longer. So when she started carrying her right front leg instead of limping on it we decided we better get some better drugs in her. So we went to the vet and got another round of Tramadol and metacam, pain management, and anti inflammatory. This too in the past has been a big help, taking only a couple of days to work it's magic and get her back to lazing around the house in a normal fashion.

Again not this time.

So I got to take Jade to the vet this morning. Her right forearm is extremely swollen and we hoped that she had busted a bone, or got bit by a spider or somehow tiny gnomes had set up house. At the very least I was hoping that the swelling was caused by a malicious neighbor who may have shot the old girl, or maybe their kid, so I could then award them the "Beatin' O' the week" Jersey style complete with a bruised sack and missing teeth.

Not to be redundant, but again not this time.

As I sat in the office with the vet giving her the once over, spending a lot of time on her other parts, before even looking at her leg, all the while asking me the questions about her, How old is she, (9 by the way) and she has lost some weight (went from 135 to 115 over the last 2 years), her eyes seem a bit red, we'll give her something for that too. And then on to the swelling leg, WOW that really is swollen, how long has it been like this? we'll need x-rays, that came on quicker then I would think for a soft tissue mass or tumor, so that is good news. We'll be right back with the x-ray.

Good News! (30 mins later) there doesn't seem to be a tumor, or a pellet or a broken bone!

Hooray!

But the massive amount of arthritis is more then likely causing the swelling, and there is only three things we can do.

1) Play with her pain meds to make her comfortable. (ALARM BELLS start clanging in my head)
2) Amputate. (HOLY SHIT)
3) Euthanasia (fuck.)

Our choices seem to be limited. With the exception of her bum wheel she is a very healthy girl. She is also at the back end of her life expectancy as Rotties tend to only live 10-12 years and that is with perfect health. She has neither. So within a week we will have some serious thinking to be doing.

Choices like this, I'd rather not make any.

"Judge Skretny said that land the Senecas purchased in 2005 qualified as “Indian lands” under federal guidelines, but that it did not meet exceptions that would make it eligible for gambling."

So let me get this right, we kill, enslave, and force a race of people off of their land, hook them on booze, and treat them like 3rd class citizens, and when those same people, BUY back their land, and the feds qualify that as "Indian Lands", but they can't use it for Indian purposes?

W.T.F? This judge needs a beatin. Someone should do an inquiry into his kick back folder and ask why, he is acting so cockeyed.

Fucking douche nozzle.

C'mon Iran! NUKE Washington! Let us start over with NO politicians, or lawyers.

That is what my father told me was the sum of his experience as a plumber. Pops was the best plumber in the tri county area when I was growing up and he HATED, nay, LOATHED that job. He was raised as a plumber, my G-pa was a plumber and back then most people did what their father did. Pops wanted to be a cowboy, and he did become one, but while becoming a cowboy he had to endure a shitload of plumbing and plumbing activities.

I now know why he hated it so much.

It takes a special breed of person to fuck with plumbing...and it helps to be smaller then a wall. Here is a little exercise for you, go into your bathroom and look where your toilet sits. 99 times out of 100 it will be up against a wall, with a sink or cabinet next to it. Now see where the water comes into the tank, and that little hose attached to the shut off valve...take your hand and pretend that you're holding a wrench, see how comfortable that is? To be laying over the toilet, trying to reach around to use both hands on the valve so when you unhook it doesn't come off the wall or bend the soft copper supply line.

Yeah lots of room to work with, now imagine you're 6' 2" and pushing 300lbs with arms the size of small trees. It is quickly becoming a clusterfuck. Well I preformed two toilet rebuilds yesterday, and I only had to make 5 trips to the fucking hardware store. Helpful tip. If you have an older shut off valve, and a solid copper pipe attached to it, just do yourself a favor and buy a whole new set up from the beginning. Don't fuck around with parts, to try and make it work better, there is a reason the total replacement parts are that cheap, it is a 1000 times easier to replace the whole valve instead of trying to fix an old one.

Now my hands hurt, my back aches, and I can add one more career onto the list of shit I don't want to do.

Since my work demanded that we were going to be open on the 4th I took Monday off so I can continue my housework and fix some more shit around the house.

YAY me....

Can you smell the sarcasm?

*UPDATE*
I have cleaned the gutters, sealed a window, hung the new ladder on the wall, and took out the trash. All that is left is to pick up and vacuum the pad and we are all done.

And build a website for my cousin who is opening up our 150+ year old homestead as a boutique Whitetail hunting sanctuary. I'll let you know how that goes! Thanks Pete for the hosting help!

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “breakup.”

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog “Science Diet” instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three in the morning would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A four dollar bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell happened?”

Well this is probably going to be that last post I write from work ever. I convinced the Powers that be that I need to have access to blogs for a few days so I could contact this kid, who my CEO thinks could be a good fit to come work here. Now I'm probably outing my blog here but at this point I don't care.

Take a look at Kyle's work, and then tell D that he is at least 38% less awesome than this kid.

On the way to work this morning I was in a race with no one and I seem to have won.

So I'm wondering if everyone thinks that we are really going to have Barak Obama as a President, and if they all REALLY think that he is nothing more than a martyr? We have had Presidents assassinated for shit equally as dumb as the color of thier skin. I'm scared that if he does get elected, some backwoods, inbreeding, Klan Kock will kill him and start a race riot that will make the riots of the 60's look a playground fight.

Am I the only one who thinks like this? It scares the hell out of me to think like this but I know a couple of people here in the metro area that are just that fucking dumb. They probably won't do the shooting, but I'm sure that their racism will allow them the leeway to laugh at it. I can't fucking stand racism, I don't understand it, and personally I feel our race, the human race, would be better off if we devolved back to the fucking trees or even further...like to the single cell organisms.

Let me know if I am the only one who is thinking this.