Tuesday, March 18, 2008


Home sick...

Over the weekend I believe I may have contracted something at the Snake Saturday parade, and no I didn't get Hep B from D He was running in Westport or something. But since my boots have developed secret holes in the bottom and there was no shortage of water at the parade site, I'm sure I got a head cold from wet feet and dirty drunks coughing their phlegm filled disease sauce into the air. So since I started running a fever (100.8) I decided to go home and take a nap this afternoon.

On my way home I saw a cute little thing hitchhiking on the edge of 435 headed towards Liberty. She was carrying two bag, one a shopping bag the other a briefcase. Being a Eagal Scout I pulled right over and passed the ugly trucker looking for a lift to the truck stop and swung in to pick up little miss thing.

She climbs into the warm (yet germ ridden...although she didn't know that) cab of my manly Ford Explorer and told me that she was on her way to a job interview in Liberty when her car broke down and could I please give her a lift. Naturally I said sure, and pulled away from the shoulder.

She loked at me sideways for about a mile as we made small talk and then she said;

"I know this is going to sound horrible but, I need to change clothes before the interview and I don't know if I'll have time when I get there do you mind if I get in the back seat and change my clothes?"

"No, go right ahead" I replied, understanding how appearance can make or break a job interview, not to mention that she is still pretty cute at this time.

So she climbs into the back seat and pulls the shopping bag in behind her. Thankfully I have a pretty good view of the back seat...NOT that I would peek, I am a boy scout you know...So has I race towards liberty I hear her struggling peel her tight jeans off. Her struggling gets more animated and I look in the rear view and ask if she was doing ok because her thrashing about was causing my car to swerve.

When I look back I wasn't ready for what I saw, she was sitting with her jeans off and her hand was jammed into her panties and she was writhing in obvious pleasure. I was shocked. what do you say to someone you have never met who is masturbating in your back seat!?? I mean she was really going at it I could see her fingers playing her love button like it was a door stop and she was trying to annoy her parents!

So I said" Umm hey, whatcha doing back there?"

"Umm, just keep driving!"

"Uh No, gas is like 3.08 a galon, you need to tell me if I'm getting punk'd or if you are just a freak?"

"Please I really do have a job interview, but I am also a Sex addict and I accidentally brushed my..my ..my...OH MY GOD"

And she climaxed...right there in my back seat!!

I was still in shock. Did this really just happen? It seemed to much like a Penthouse letter for me to even believe.

She then shimmied into her dress and slipped into her pumps and crawled back into the the passenger seat.

I just sat there.

I had no idea how to react to this woman pleasuring herself in my back seat. I mean really what can you do?

Finally she started giving me directions as to where I needed to go and it wasn't to far off the freeway, so as I dropped her off in front of some office building, she tried to shake my hand and I told her "Not unless you sanitized!"

She just smiled and hopped out.

As I pulled away I grabbed my cell phone and called Bouby and told her all about it and she was VERY angry that I picked up a strange girl on the side of the road...then she asked "Wait did she leave that bag in your back seat?"

I turned around and looked and sure enough it was there...like a big dirty reminder of why people shouldn't pick up hitchhikers, no matter how pretty it is or how much it looks like rain.

I told her that yes it was there, and she asked what was in it.

I said I have no idea...so I reached back and grabbed it. As I pulled into our drive way and parked my car, I sat there dumbfounded as I listened to Bouby continue to rip me a new asshole, staring into the bag.

She finally stops to breathe and asks me "WELL what the fuck is in that goddamned SACK!"

Do you know what was in the sack?

Bullshit....just like I'm feeding you!

I hope you don't get sick, and have to go home early.

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