SMELLS LIKE BULLSHIT

That's right the Raiders finally got that Arrowhead monkey off their backs! After 9 disappointing losses the Men in Black got their shit together and snuck in a win against those bitches in red! Here is our day in pictures!







Then there was this guy who I labeled the "Dungeon Master", because he looked like he played D&D in his Mom's basement with Tony last night! And I know that when the chef's get a first down the fans wait for the announcers to say ..."Pick up of 8 on that play and that's gooood for a Chef FIRST DOWN!!" and they all point like a referee would. But the Dungeon Master would have his hand ready for a solid minute PRIOR to the announcer calling for it! He looked so silly!



But we sat next to some groovy people and this time no one tried to scream at us when they were winning, unlike last time I went to the raider game Read that fucking mess here

So as we were waiting to pick up my brother from him and his partners whirlwind vacation spanning Vegas to Louisville we got a call from Bouby's PaPa...

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

B-"Nothing"

"Well there is a guy selling two tickets and a parking pass to the chiefs raider game"

"B-How much?"

"Let me ask"

Phone rings 3 minutes later...

"he wants 160 for both and the parking pass.."

B- Wow...we would love to go but we just spent 500 on 2 eye exams and another years worth of contacts for the two of us."

"well....Merry Christmas then....If you want to go I'll buy the tickets."

"We'll see you in an hour..."

So Bouby and I are off to the Raider Game tomorrow!! and Yes we will be sitting in the season ticket holder section wearing our Silver and Black!!

Here is a picture of my drink evolution in one evening. Starts with the water, then the dew and then the coffee and finally a Manhattan.


Coincidently it would take ...

It would take 25 Manhattens to kill me

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

On to more serious things, I have a quiz....

Which ones have you done so far?

Leave just the number, I don't need explanations, but I am curious as to how many of these things have been done by people I pseudo know...I have 20 checked off...I used to be a whore...no a slut, I never charged.





1. If you’re straight, kiss someone of the same gender. If you’re gay, kiss someone of the opposite sex. Hey, you never know until you try.

2. Do it in a bathroom stall at a bar.

3. Amass a collection of sex toys to pleasure yourself – and your partners – with.

4. Learn how to bring yourself to orgasm in less than three minutes.

5. Have at least one steamy vacation fling with someone who doesn’t speak your language.

6. Pee on someone, or get peed on.

7. Have all your favorite smut sites bookmarked and ready at the touch of a button.

8. Give or get anal sex the right way (i.e. without being wasted, with lots of lube!)

9. Master the art of mind-blowing head.

10. Have sex on ecstasy.

11. Have a fuck buddy on retainer.

12. Have steamy sex with an ex.

13. For the ladies: Buy sexy lingerie just for yourself, and wear it alone when you’re feeling frisky.

14. Stop comparing your sex life with your friends’.

15. Ask for the brand of condoms you want in a loud voice at the drugstore with no shame.

16. Let someone tie you up.

17. Turn down sex with someone you dig – just to make ’em wait.

18. Sleep with a much younger person (nobody underage, perv).

19. Sleep with someone much older.

20. Get tested for STDs – and do it on a regular basis.

21. Visit a strip club or peep show with your partner.

22. Masturbate in your office bathroom.

23. Have sex with someone you hate but think is hot.

24. Make another person’s fantasy come true.

25. Try at least one Internet date.

26. Use a webcam to get down and dirty with a faraway friend.

27. Have sex in the ocean.

28. Give a sexual favor to get backstage.

29. Swallow (sans gagging or protesting).

30. Be the one to not call the next day – or ever.


***JOKE***
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

NFL Players are not the stand up citizens we all think they are!

Ok most of them are, (Except the Cincinnati Bungles)decent human beings who just happen to have a pretty cool job, and a penchant for tattoos, hip hop, and the occasional arrest.

But as we all know I am a fan of football. Having missed my window to the pros with a broken spine from a night of drunken debauchery, but I still love the game. Last night I was appalled at the news of one player they just happened to keep talking about a one Mr. Travis Henry.

Travis was an outstanding running back for the University of Tennessee, drafted by the Bills traded to the Titans (after he cried about being a back up, and ultimately playing for the Bronco's.

What really pissed me off though was the report that he was appealing the test results that stated he tested positive for weed, that would have him suspended for one year.

The NFL doesn't have a "0" tolerance policy for weed. They have a three strikes and your out policy. So this isn't the first time this douchebag tested hot for substance abuse. So this is what he is basing his whole appeal on...the wording of the questions.

My many inside sources said this; "According to the source, the line of questioning from the lie detector test was introduced as evidence during the appeal hearing, but it was not impressive.

“There were questions like…‘did you smoke a marijuana joint between these such and such dates?”

“What’s wrong with that? It doesn’t ask you if you smoked the marijuana from a bong or a pipe,” answered the my fucking source.

“The question should have been, did you knowingly ingest marijuana,” explained a close personal friend of Travis and Nightmare

“There is a reason why the League doesn’t use hair sample tests and lie detector tests; they’re not reliable,” Said my fucking cool source.

This whole fucking fiasco screams ghetto lawyer. Let me take a second to break this down for you Mr. Henry.

You have a life span in the NFL of abot 10 years if you're REALLY fucking good. Most running backs tend to last 5-6 years. So your job depends on you being able to run the fucking football in, around, and through defenders. THAT is how you make money. Now in the rule book that each rookie is given and has to sign states that there will not be any drug use, and if there is the bailiff will whack your pee pee. (I'm paraphrasing). So in order to keep your job all you have to do is not smoke weed, snort blow, ingest meth, shoot heroin, smoke crack, sniff glue, or smuggle 30 balloons of Mexican angel dust up your ass across the boarder. And I don't care if you smoke weed, I think weed is harmless. but I'm not a multi billion dollar corporation that is signing your fucking checks. so lets try NOTsmoking the fucking weed.

It sounds simple enough, so why can't Travis not smoke the weed? Well that is easily explained. He can't stop smoking the weed because he is strictly GHETTO! Trash at it's finest, worthless piles of grabasstic whale shit...and that is clear at the bottom of the ocean. This cocksucker also has 9 kids from 9 babies mommas and claims he can't pay child support because he don't have any money....yeah a pro football player who doesn't have any money to take care of his kids??? RIGHT!

Also on the interwebs is a story about his hot check for fancy jewelry in Texas.

Now that is real Ghetto. Parents please don't let your children watch this ass monkey. he is not only a bad roll model but he is also an uneducated lout who has trouble forming polysyllabic words.

I hope Travis finds this...well what are the odds he knows how to use a computer? His own website still has him playing in a Titan's uniform. Besides he probably sold it for a nickel bag.

Enough with the hate and rednecktivity, it is getting close to the time of the Global Orgasm

After last years great success the organizers of the Global "O" have decided that we, as a planet, need to work in unison to bring forth the funniest looking faces and full body shivers all at the exact same set of moments. So get practicing, go to the store, make sure you have plenty of lube and batteries and get your timing down we have world peace to think about!!

We have just over a month to prepare!!


The Event

WHO? All Men and Women, you and everyone
you know.

WHERE? Everywhere in the world, but especially in countries with weapons of mass destruction.

WHEN?
Winter Solstice Day - December 22nd, 2007, at 06:08 am Universal Time (GMT)
at the time of your choosing, in the place of your choosing and with as much privacy as you choose.

WHY? To effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy a Synchronized Global Orgasm. There are two more US fleets heading for the Persian Gulf with anti-submarine equipment that can only be for use against Iran, so the time to change Earth’s energy is NOW!

Nothing has changed from last nights news, but I did see something a few minutes ago that makes my blood boil and I still have trouble believing. I went to look out the big window on the front of our building because I like the view, it over looks a now ghetto, of tiny houses that were once filled with Henry Ford's auto workers back when the Ford plant was down on Winchester. It shows me just how far a neighborhood can fall in 30-40 short years. A lot of these people that live here are the original old Ford workers who have since retired and could do no better, or didn't want to move.

Anyway on to the anger issue. As I look out the window I notice this lovely little cottage.



I notice something fluttering in the breeze....I focus on it and I see this.



This is what pisses me off. That fucking flag. I don't give a shit what those fucking slack assed southern cocksuckers call it I call it what it is.

Treason.

I'll admit when I was growing up I didn't understand what this flag symbolized, I didn't get it. It wasn't until after several history classes did I finally understand that, this fucking part of America was over and that the states that flew this flag during the Civil War were TRAITORS! Cut and dry. no grey area, no "well maybe it stands for a way of life" fuck that it supports treason and our fucking government should have fucking stopped it from being used for any purpose other than a hate symbol the day after those cock sucking slave owners lost the goddamned war. If I had any leg to stand on besides the bad taste it leaves in my mouth that these fucking flags are still being made and flown by the retarded and ignorant, I would go over and burn that bitch down.

But I can't do that because I also strongly believe in Freedom of speech and expression. Since that flag isn't outlawed then these moronic glue sniffing window lickers get the rare opportunity to show the world exactly how fucking dumb they are and exactly where their loyalties stand.

I was just informed by one of my co-workers how he combats the situation. He was getting signed up for Everest Cable, because where he is there is more then one choice in your cable provider, unlike Gladstone, and when the worker bees showed up at his house to install all of the goodies, they had that flag on their truck. He told them that he was no longer interested and to take their hate and move on.

So what I'm suggesting is if we all do the same thing. If any service fails to monitor their workers to this extent, then they don't need our business. If you see that flag anywhere but on the grave marker of a dead civil war traitor, don't do business with them. BUT you have to tell them why you are refusing to do business with them. Let them know that you are an American and that you will not stand for 150 year old acts of treason.

Fucking Redneck white trash.

I want you all to remember that just because I hunt and fish and know how to farm and raise cattle, doesn't mean I hold the same beliefs as the uneducated, ignorant, racisit, traitors that fly that fucking rag.

I can't tell anyone anything, but I AM REALLY REALLY REALLY HAPPY!

I don't know why I never learn to trust my inner voice, but I have fucked up once again.

Well I didn't really fuck up, the fucking "Oh we're favored by 11.5 points, yet still can't fucking beat a 5th rate 0-9 team" New Orleans Saints. All they had to do was win. They didn't even have to cover the spread.

Now I'm out of the Elimination pool until next year, and out $3204.00.

Fuck.

There was a construction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death.
He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said "Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been sentenced to hell." The worker agreed -- not like he could do anything else -- and he was on his way.

When he arrived, the devil looked at him and said, "Ah! A new slave. We shall burn you and throw you in the fiery pits."

Then the worker replied, "What wall could use a bit of patching. I could fix it first and you could throw me in the pit afterward." So he fixed the wall.

Satan, intrigued, asked, "What else can you build?" So the construction worker went about his job and made many improvements; in fact, by the time he was done, hell was a paradise. It had air conditioning, pools, balconies, you name it.

Within a few days, God phoned Satan and said, "I think there has been a mix-up. That worker was originally supposed to come to heaven."

Satan replied, "No way -- he's built all sorts of useful stuff for us. We're keeping him."

God then said, "Oh, yeah? Well, I'll see you in court. We're going to sue you for this man's soul and damages."

Satan just laughed: "And where are you going to find a lawyer?"


Ok I cheated. Anyone who has been here before knows I write all Hemmingway-esque, and that a moron can read it but I punched in one of the tech sights from work and yes you do have to be a engineer to read that stunning piece of literature!

So yeah I just wanted to look cool and higher up the food chain.


oh and ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??

I never welch on a bet, I used to work for a bookie in college, as a collector, not as someone smart who set the lines, just someone who could get people to pay up and I never wanted to pay myself a visit.


So when I confidently laid a bet on my beloved Wildcats to trounce the now #4 team in the country, and cross state rivalry Kansas Jayhawks...who'da thunk we'd lose? Well Darren over at The "D" Rules, That's who So the bet was a guest posting on each others site...Here is the pay off!

Till next year D.

In a previous post on my site Nightmare asked me a very good question in the comments. As I was answering him I decided that it was just too long of an answer for the comments and decided to turn it in to a post.

His question was "Why do you run? I have never understood the benefit of running. I lift weights, I am strong, I lift heavy things...people ask me to lift heavy things every day. I have never had anyone ask "Hey...can you start running now and I'll pick you up in 20 miles" Seems like a lot of wasted energy."
That's a really great question Night thanks for asking! It's a debate that has been going on since Moses wore shorts, and I pretty sure it was the cause of the fall of the Roman Empire.

I first started running when I was in the Marine Corps back in the early 1990's while stationed at Camp Pendleton, which is about an hour or so north of San Diego (you know, that city named after a whales vagina.) If you've driven from San Diego to L.A. then you drive right though it. The San Onofre Nuclear power plant is right there, it looks like two really big tits.) I started running then because believe it or not I had weight issues back then too. But I never had fitness issues. I was also in my early 20's then and I had a much faster metabolism then I do now. I would run 3 miles in the morning either in formation for our morning P.T. (Physical Training) and I would also run 3 miles at lunch. I also had to keep my time down in order to keep a perfect PFT (Physical Fitness Test) score of 300. At the same time I was also lifting weights with the rest of the platoon. After liberty call we would all hit the gym and have lifting competitions. I don't think I need to tell you but I never won any of them. We'd have competitions for bench press, squats, dead lifts, and just about any other competitions that you can think of to prove who the bigger man was. The machismo was rampant! (It's funny to me now but I actually weight less now that I did back then.)

All though my 4 year service in the Marine Corps I lifted weights, when I was station aboard the U.S.S. Peleliu on our way to and from Somolia and Rwanda I was a member of what we called the 300 Club. The 300 Club was a small group of Marines in my battalion that could bench press 300 pounds at least one time. We'd have contest every Friday for any one that wanted to try to Marine UP! As we liked to say. It's quite a different story trying to bench 300 pounds while the ship is rolling and pitching.

When I was Honorably Discharged in September 1994 I stopped lifting because the weights just go to be way too heavy.

As to why I run now? I think I get a better work out from running. I enjoy the time alone to think about things that may be bothering me or just to have some time alone. It also burns more calories than lifting weights in the same amount of time. You can't burn 1000 calories in an hour lifting weights but you can running, if you run fast enough. That's why I always thought I would get a better work out running that I did lifting. As many people know you only work a certain part of your body, whether you work just your arms, or shoulders, back, chest, or legs. Running you work your whole body.

One benefit of running is that when you and your lady are walking down the street and some coked out idiot comes and swipes her purse and keeps running. Would a person who lifts be able to run after him and catch the dude? Probably not, those coke heads are fast! Your muscles won't be used to the endurance. But a runner will catch him. But on the same thought, could I crush some ones face like a piece of glass with one punch? Probably not, but a weightlifter could.

Another benefit from running is the improved cardiovascular system. You will be able to do more umm “strenuous work outs”, and by that I mean sex than a weight lifter. Because running helps your stamina, I don’t think weight lifting does. But I’m no doctor I just have a t-shirt that says I am.

Weight training has a lot of benefits also, if you want to lose weight most trainers and those in the health field will tell you to lift weights. Now, this might seem dumb to you, but let me drop some knowledge on ya'll. The higher your muscle mass content is higher your resting metabolic rate will be which means you will burn more calories while sitting at your desk than that fatty sitting across from you. Muscles at rest require more energy. You don't have to have huge muscles to have high muscle mass. You can just have really dense, hard muscles. This is why women have a much harder time losing weight than men do. We men, as a gender, have larger muscle mass therefore our metabolic rate is higher.

Also a really great benefit to running is when I get wasted and start talking shit, or spill a drink down your shirt. I'll be able to get up and run away before you start pummeling me.

That is why I run.

That's it for me folks check ya on the flip side.

**PS NOne of his links in Word transferred and I'm way to lazy to do actual work!**
***PPS I Love the Quote from the "Boondock Saints" to end it!***

I saw in the news this morning that the price of gas went up 10 cents last night and it will continue to rise over the winter.

Well no shit.

Why so cynical? Easy. as you will remember I mentioned back in the summer that we weren't getting a full gallon of gas based solely on the properties of gas. See when gas is warm it expands, and when it is cold it contracts. So, pay attention here there will be a quiz, when it is 163.7 degrees out and the gas is $2.25, and we are all "Yay gas is so cheap"...well it really isn't. you're getting 10-25% less when the gas comes out of the hose due to the expanding properties of the gas.

So how does this explain the current price raise?

C'moin! fuck do I have to explain everything?

Ok the price went up because the "Big Oil" companies sell on VOLUME, if the volume is smaller (Hot gas) then the price will go down...less gas sold by volume, greater margins. IF it is cold outside, there will be a greater concentration of gas in your tank, or more VOLUME hence the price will go up to keep the margins at a steady "POUND THE PUBLIC IN THE ASS" prices.

So gas prices went up and you are ACTUALLY getting more gas for your money...DUH!

But what would be really awesome is if we got those fucks in Detroit to listen to the cat in Wichita, a one Mr. Johnathan Goodwin and get us off the oil tit once and for all.


I got this in my email last week....

BOYCOTT McDONALDS!

McDonald's Beef HEART COMPONENTS

I'm sure those of you who aren't in the cattle business don't
understand the issues here. But to those of us who who's living depends on
the cattle market, selling cattle, raising the best beef possible... this is
frustrating. As far as my family, we don't eat at McDonald's much (Subway is
our choice of fast food), but this will keep us from ever stopping there again, even for a drink.

The original message is from the Texas Cattle Feeders Association.

American cattle producers are very passionate about this. McDonald's claims that there is not enough beef in the USA to support their restaurants. Well, we know that is not so. Our opinion is they are looking to save money at our expense. The sad thing of it is that the people of the USA are the ones who made McDonald's successful in the first place, but we are not good enough to provide beef.

We personally are no longer eating at McDonald's, which I am sure does not make an impact, but if we pass this around maybe there will be an impact felt.

Please pass it on. Just to add a note, all Americans that sell cows at a livestock auction barn had to sign a paper stating that we do NOT EVER feed our cows any part of another cow.

South Americans are not required to do this as of yet. McDonald's has announced that they are going to start importing much of their beef from South America . The problem is that South Americans aren't under the same regulations as American beef producers, and the regulations they have are loosely controlled. They can spray numerous pesticides on their pastures that have been banned here at home because of residues found in the beef. They can also use various hormones and growth regulators that we can't.

The American public needs to be aware of this problem and that they may be putting themselves at risk from now on by eating at good old McDonald's. American ranchers raise the highest quality beef in the world and this is what Americans deserve to eat, not beef from countries where quality is loosely controlled. Therefore, I am proposing a boycott of McDonald's until they see the light.

I'm sorry but everything is not always about the bottom line, and when it comes to jeopardizing my family's health, that is where I draw the line I am sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) ... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) ... and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers! I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you? Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on.
David W. Forrest, Ph.D., PAS, Dipl. ACAP
Department of Animal Science
Texas A&M University
2471 TA! MU
College Station, TX 77843-2471
Email d-forrest@tamu.ed
Phone (979) 845-3560
Fax (979) 862-3399