Monday, October 29, 2007


When in doubt, whip it out.

One of the fun things I learned this weekend was that if you confuse hand sanitizer with hand lotion, and you're watching a porn, it will burn your junk.

Ok I didn't really do that but I did have that random thought run through my head when I was cooking chicken last night. I mean how bad would that suck if you sanitized your wiener?? OWWW!!

When did adults lose their sense of adventure? I mean when was the last time you squatted over a mirror to look at your own butthole? Or for those of you seriously adventurous, stood on the edge of the bathroom sink? When did bodily exploration become so taboo that we stopped doing it?

Well I'm assuming you people stopped doing it, or why else would you be so fucking up tight?

Here is a plan, next time that you're feeling stressed, or overwhelmed, and you just feel like hurting people...take a deep breath, go to the restroom, find a stall, drop your pants, and look at your junk. if that doesn't settle you down I don't know what will.

Unless you are mad at your junk. Maybe your junk is (IYHO) too small, or too big. Then maybe you should carry around a pocket mirror and look at your butthole. Because if you can't look at your stuff and think about all the wonderment that this area has to offer, then you may need professional help.

I'm no therapist, but I think that Genital gazing could possibly replace fish tanks in dentist's office. Imagine, a bunch of seating with little lap drapes to cover your junk from other peoples peeping, (purely optional)and you sit and stare at your wee willy happy maker, whist waiting for the dentist. I think it would relieve all of the stress of going to the dentist.

So remember stressed? Look at your crotch!

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