Sunday, August 30, 2009
BBQ Black Sky Style
Today Nivens and Myself hosted a gathering of Black Sky Radio back end folks, the peeps what got us up and running so smoothly.
It was a HOOT and a Half, Increidipete, AnisitteKiss, Nivens and the Girlfriend, the Older brother and a friend of his, and me and Bouby. 4 other folks declined to come due to their incredibly insane bad manners, and they totally missed out on my tri-tip, grilled squish, zucchini, egg plant, green salad, and some fine cocktails.
So poop on you people of less then discriminating tastes, and I hope you know I kid because I care! Without all of you we wouldn't have had experienced 150,000 web hits, 13,000 listeners and doubling the traffic to all of our sponsors websites.
Not bad for a couple of douchebags whose only talent seems to be talking into a Nerf covered microphone!
THANK YOU ALL FOR BUILDING THE NEXT BIG THING!
And for all you people who listen....THANK YOU, without you we are just two dickheads in a secret bunker somewhere talking to each through Nerf covered microphones.
It was a HOOT and a Half, Increidipete, AnisitteKiss, Nivens and the Girlfriend, the Older brother and a friend of his, and me and Bouby. 4 other folks declined to come due to their incredibly insane bad manners, and they totally missed out on my tri-tip, grilled squish, zucchini, egg plant, green salad, and some fine cocktails.
So poop on you people of less then discriminating tastes, and I hope you know I kid because I care! Without all of you we wouldn't have had experienced 150,000 web hits, 13,000 listeners and doubling the traffic to all of our sponsors websites.
Not bad for a couple of douchebags whose only talent seems to be talking into a Nerf covered microphone!
THANK YOU ALL FOR BUILDING THE NEXT BIG THING!
And for all you people who listen....THANK YOU, without you we are just two dickheads in a secret bunker somewhere talking to each through Nerf covered microphones.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
HOLY DIVER...no really not kidding!
Monday, August 17, 2009
BLACK SKY RADIO
For those of you who are not on my Facebook, myspace, twitter, let me tell you what I have been doing...better yet let me show you what I have been doing. You can find me here live 2-7pm DAILY,Black Sky Radio. I look forward to the banter, listenership and the fun of the web waves!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Michael Vick
Ok people I have had just about enough ear and eye rape on whether or not Michael Vick has been punished enough or not.
First, the laws are pretty clear on this, and he did the time that fit the crime. If you don't like it then vote in better law MAKERS! New judges, new senators, new congressmen etc. But lay off the guy who plead guilty, went to pound me up the ass prison and is trying to make a new life for himself.
I always wonder when these typically white bread Americans get their feathers ruffled and start protesting stupid shit. if This is ONE MAN, who made a POOR choice with his friends and family members to continue acting badly when he had become a sports icon. Why don't we protest something that fucking matters for once. Do all of these people who are getting pissy about 6-8 pitbulls also get all worked up over the declining IQ's of our American kids? that the last president "no child left behind" lowered that standards of ALL education creating MANY generations of children who will be made dumber by lower standards instead of better education.
Do these same people feel like protesting the lack of industry and economic standards in Mississippi where they are the dumbest and poorest in the known 1st world countries? Or is that just their own fault and they choose to be that dumb and uneducated?
Do these protesters and angry mobs feel the same about the rampant murders and shootings that are plaguing our inner cities or is that just those other peoples problems because they should know better then to live where crime happens?
Do these wastes of oxygen really feel that in this time of crisis, where we have 3 huge banking failures yesterday, (8-14-09) a war on two fronts (as far as we know the CIA may be running a bunch more), economic shitstorm, high rates of unemployment, factories going under every day, or worse headed overseas, Obama trying to shove some bullshit health care down our throats, and the one thing on everyone's mind is whether or not Michael Vick has a right to earn a living playing a game?
SHUT THE FUCK UP, AND GET YOUR HEAD OUTTA YOUR ASSES!
goddamendmotherfuckingshitfuckcocksuckingdoorknobasslickingcunts.
First, the laws are pretty clear on this, and he did the time that fit the crime. If you don't like it then vote in better law MAKERS! New judges, new senators, new congressmen etc. But lay off the guy who plead guilty, went to pound me up the ass prison and is trying to make a new life for himself.
I always wonder when these typically white bread Americans get their feathers ruffled and start protesting stupid shit. if This is ONE MAN, who made a POOR choice with his friends and family members to continue acting badly when he had become a sports icon. Why don't we protest something that fucking matters for once. Do all of these people who are getting pissy about 6-8 pitbulls also get all worked up over the declining IQ's of our American kids? that the last president "no child left behind" lowered that standards of ALL education creating MANY generations of children who will be made dumber by lower standards instead of better education.
Do these same people feel like protesting the lack of industry and economic standards in Mississippi where they are the dumbest and poorest in the known 1st world countries? Or is that just their own fault and they choose to be that dumb and uneducated?
Do these protesters and angry mobs feel the same about the rampant murders and shootings that are plaguing our inner cities or is that just those other peoples problems because they should know better then to live where crime happens?
Do these wastes of oxygen really feel that in this time of crisis, where we have 3 huge banking failures yesterday, (8-14-09) a war on two fronts (as far as we know the CIA may be running a bunch more), economic shitstorm, high rates of unemployment, factories going under every day, or worse headed overseas, Obama trying to shove some bullshit health care down our throats, and the one thing on everyone's mind is whether or not Michael Vick has a right to earn a living playing a game?
SHUT THE FUCK UP, AND GET YOUR HEAD OUTTA YOUR ASSES!
goddamendmotherfuckingshitfuckcocksuckingdoorknobasslickingcunts.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Death Panels
I have no idea why all of these old people are pissed about the possibilities that we may be on the short list to die...we are man, man is MADE to die, it is like we are all built in Detroit, American made, so as we get older, we rattle, we have parts replaced, and end the end we are sent to the scrap yard so the newer models can rule the highways.
BUT! What happened to doing something good on the way out? I brought this idea forth a year ago, and it went unheard by the masses, so I figured I'd better re-post it, so that we can get the fuel conversion tanks built before we start the harvest.
Friday, June 13, 2008
The energy solution!!
Ladies, Gentlemen, Troglodytes...I have finally figured it out.
The entire world is dependent on oil. We all know this and we also that sooner or later it will all run out. So today while I was at lunch I had an epiphany, I think I may have solved the energy crisis. One of the things that we humans do, and do well I feel will be able to create a constant supply of fuel. Not only constant but one that is highly useful for just about all of the fuel needs the planet has to offer.
Babies.
That's right I said babies. If there is one thing that the human race can do almost as good as rabbits or rodents is to reproduce. We create more unwanted and more useless offspring's then any other species on earth. We do not push the old, weak, worthless, or stupid to the edge of the herd and we should. Well this way we will have a place to push all of these people.
But since we don't want to wait, we'll just use crack whores, welfare moms, and other breeders that don't contribute to society. How will we decide what is a contribution to society? well we use an old scale used back in the 1600's "if you don't work you don't eat!"
So we set up some rendering plants, and start processing Baby oil. REAL baby oil, made from real babies. You can have two kids to raise as your own and then any others will need to be turned over to the department of energy.
All old people, who are out of breeding age, need to fill out their body donor cards and get ready to become fuel. There will be no more burials, no need for fancy coffins or mausoleums, we won't need the entire funeral profession, no more abortions, if you get knocked up you MUST carry it to full term and then if you do not want it you turn it over to the department of energy for proper fuel processing.
Suicide is no longer illegal, if you want to kill yourself, fine go to the department of energy and turn in your donor card, you will be processed with a last meal and your choice of sleepy time meds.
So stop worrying about the oil, the cost of gas, and whether or not you should buy that V8 or the 2.5 cylinder smart car. Babies and the elderly are the answer. With the rednecks and the lazy we will HURL ourselves into a future that isn't dependent on foreign oil any more. The beauty part of this is we will have more land for golf courses and retail space.
So there you have the answer to three HUGE questions. Health care can now be paid for by using the money we DON'T spend on foreign oil, old people will be able to do one more good thing before they die, Emo kids have a purpose, and Welfare moms can be a productive addition to our society.
And I can continue to drive my old beater that gets 8 gallons to the mile!
Win, Win, Win, and Win!
BUT! What happened to doing something good on the way out? I brought this idea forth a year ago, and it went unheard by the masses, so I figured I'd better re-post it, so that we can get the fuel conversion tanks built before we start the harvest.
Friday, June 13, 2008
The energy solution!!
Ladies, Gentlemen, Troglodytes...I have finally figured it out.
The entire world is dependent on oil. We all know this and we also that sooner or later it will all run out. So today while I was at lunch I had an epiphany, I think I may have solved the energy crisis. One of the things that we humans do, and do well I feel will be able to create a constant supply of fuel. Not only constant but one that is highly useful for just about all of the fuel needs the planet has to offer.
Babies.
That's right I said babies. If there is one thing that the human race can do almost as good as rabbits or rodents is to reproduce. We create more unwanted and more useless offspring's then any other species on earth. We do not push the old, weak, worthless, or stupid to the edge of the herd and we should. Well this way we will have a place to push all of these people.
But since we don't want to wait, we'll just use crack whores, welfare moms, and other breeders that don't contribute to society. How will we decide what is a contribution to society? well we use an old scale used back in the 1600's "if you don't work you don't eat!"
So we set up some rendering plants, and start processing Baby oil. REAL baby oil, made from real babies. You can have two kids to raise as your own and then any others will need to be turned over to the department of energy.
All old people, who are out of breeding age, need to fill out their body donor cards and get ready to become fuel. There will be no more burials, no need for fancy coffins or mausoleums, we won't need the entire funeral profession, no more abortions, if you get knocked up you MUST carry it to full term and then if you do not want it you turn it over to the department of energy for proper fuel processing.
Suicide is no longer illegal, if you want to kill yourself, fine go to the department of energy and turn in your donor card, you will be processed with a last meal and your choice of sleepy time meds.
So stop worrying about the oil, the cost of gas, and whether or not you should buy that V8 or the 2.5 cylinder smart car. Babies and the elderly are the answer. With the rednecks and the lazy we will HURL ourselves into a future that isn't dependent on foreign oil any more. The beauty part of this is we will have more land for golf courses and retail space.
So there you have the answer to three HUGE questions. Health care can now be paid for by using the money we DON'T spend on foreign oil, old people will be able to do one more good thing before they die, Emo kids have a purpose, and Welfare moms can be a productive addition to our society.
And I can continue to drive my old beater that gets 8 gallons to the mile!
Win, Win, Win, and Win!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
545 People by Charlie Reese
545 People
By Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them. Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits? Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does. You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congess does. You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does. You and I don't control monetary policy, The Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.
The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it. The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.
Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.
When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.
If the Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.
Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible. They, and they alone, have the power. They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
By Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them. Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits? Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does. You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congess does. You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does. You and I don't control monetary policy, The Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.
The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it. The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.
Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.
When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.
If the Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.
Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible. They, and they alone, have the power. They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
If socialists had BALLS
If Socialists had BALLS
By Fredrick Rohs
I was mowing the yard today and I got to thinking (that’s when I do my best thinking, btw), “Man, the world is a mess right now. Someone needs to clean it up!”
Now clearly our leaders have been trying to do… stuff. But seriously, does anyone buy that it will work? No. And you know why not. Because the problems in this country boil down to one thing. Freedom.
I know, I know, “Hold on there a second, Mister. What do you mean messing with our freedom and all?” Well, it’s basically like this. You all are just too stupid to handle freedom. Freedom allows people to do what they want. And as we all know, what we want is never good for us. Hence, all this freedom has got to go.
Now I’ve heard a lot of talk lately about our President, and how a lot of people say he’s a socialist. I disagree based on the fact that he has no balls. I do agree that he is a Liberal, and I originally thought of titling this article, “If Liberals had Balls”, but if liberals had balls they would be Socialists.
So, what we really need is one of those no-pussyfooting around old school Socialist leaders. They would know how to cut through all this freedom crap and get at the root of the problem. Of course, you might be thinking, “Aren’t there still several socialist leaders out there.” Yea, but most of them are more than lacking in the manhood department.
Canada has always been pussy. France hasn’t had a pair since WWII. Italy never had any. Cuba looks like it’s getting soft. Even Russia and China have gone nellie. Only that guy in North Korea has still got a set… even though he looks funny.
So what would happen, say if I was the most awesome socialist leader with the biggest set of nards the world has ever seen?
First problem. Health care. This one is in the news a lot right now, and of course our limp-wristed leaders will do the usual and make a screwed up mess even worse. But if you remove freedom from the equation, the answer is simple. Make fast/processed food and cigarettes illegal. Done. Next problem.
Dependence on foreign oil/energy prices/global warming and the rest of the imagined crisises. Easy. Make cars illegal. Yup.
You see how easy this is. And the beauty is how they all tie together. If cars are illegal people will have to walk or bike, and therefore get exercise improving their health. Yeah, I’ve got some balls.
Of course you are probably wondering what I’ll do with all the cry-babies walking around whining about being out of work and their feet hurting. Chill out, I’ve got this.
The other big problem with our country is that it is falling apart. Everything we’ve made here is cheap and stupid and ugly. And now broken as well.
Well, get to work America. We’re doing things right this time. A real rail system that is on time and fast and doesn’t wreck. Build it. An energy grid that doesn’t have black outs and can handle the new energy demands and power sources from my massive nuclear power plants. Nuclear Power, you say? Yes! Because nukes are for people with balls.
Another thing I get tired of is all the money we waste on fixing things that are stupid in the first place. Take New Orleans for instance. The city is on a sand bar below sea level. Hello. Doz it. Historical? Cultural? It’s dirty and smells. Not to mention it’s sinking. Sorry folks, got to go.
Every year we spend billions on repairing lines just so that they can be knocked down again by every tree limb and ice storm or tornado that happens to come along. Do I really have to figure this out for you people? Bury the lines. You, over there, rubbing your swollen feet. You wanna eat today? Then get a shovel and shut up.
My Father lives in Georgia. They’ve just come out of 5 year drought. Meanwhile we’ve had flooding in several other states, some bordering Georgia. How hard can this be? You mean to tell me we can build a pipeline for oil all the way from Alaska but we can’t get water from one state to another? What has the Corps of Engineers been doing the last 50 years anyway? Forget the Great Wall of China. We’ll build the biggest Waterslide/Aqueduct System the earth has ever seen.
I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing about the economy. Our president seems to think you can just print the problem away. But this is the kind of thing you can expect from someone who was born without balls. This has become such a colossal mess, but really the best solution is the easiest. No more money. None. Nothing. Nada. Nil. Redistribution of wealth is for pansies! Remove the problem once and for all.
Another thing I’m tired of hearing about is illegal immigrants. This is easy. We use our borders as giant national landfills. Cross that.
As for all the idle automobile factories, they’ll be part of the military, retooled to build my army of giant robots. Not another American will die in war again… unless they get stepped on. Every giant robot will be equipped with a large set of, you guessed it, BALLS! Just in case there is any doubt.
I could go on and on, but obviously you have seen the light of my brilliance and are even now wondering how we can make it happen. Well comrades, it’s simple. Lay down your freedom, join me, and grab your balls.
By Fredrick Rohs
I was mowing the yard today and I got to thinking (that’s when I do my best thinking, btw), “Man, the world is a mess right now. Someone needs to clean it up!”
Now clearly our leaders have been trying to do… stuff. But seriously, does anyone buy that it will work? No. And you know why not. Because the problems in this country boil down to one thing. Freedom.
I know, I know, “Hold on there a second, Mister. What do you mean messing with our freedom and all?” Well, it’s basically like this. You all are just too stupid to handle freedom. Freedom allows people to do what they want. And as we all know, what we want is never good for us. Hence, all this freedom has got to go.
Now I’ve heard a lot of talk lately about our President, and how a lot of people say he’s a socialist. I disagree based on the fact that he has no balls. I do agree that he is a Liberal, and I originally thought of titling this article, “If Liberals had Balls”, but if liberals had balls they would be Socialists.
So, what we really need is one of those no-pussyfooting around old school Socialist leaders. They would know how to cut through all this freedom crap and get at the root of the problem. Of course, you might be thinking, “Aren’t there still several socialist leaders out there.” Yea, but most of them are more than lacking in the manhood department.
Canada has always been pussy. France hasn’t had a pair since WWII. Italy never had any. Cuba looks like it’s getting soft. Even Russia and China have gone nellie. Only that guy in North Korea has still got a set… even though he looks funny.
So what would happen, say if I was the most awesome socialist leader with the biggest set of nards the world has ever seen?
First problem. Health care. This one is in the news a lot right now, and of course our limp-wristed leaders will do the usual and make a screwed up mess even worse. But if you remove freedom from the equation, the answer is simple. Make fast/processed food and cigarettes illegal. Done. Next problem.
Dependence on foreign oil/energy prices/global warming and the rest of the imagined crisises. Easy. Make cars illegal. Yup.
You see how easy this is. And the beauty is how they all tie together. If cars are illegal people will have to walk or bike, and therefore get exercise improving their health. Yeah, I’ve got some balls.
Of course you are probably wondering what I’ll do with all the cry-babies walking around whining about being out of work and their feet hurting. Chill out, I’ve got this.
The other big problem with our country is that it is falling apart. Everything we’ve made here is cheap and stupid and ugly. And now broken as well.
Well, get to work America. We’re doing things right this time. A real rail system that is on time and fast and doesn’t wreck. Build it. An energy grid that doesn’t have black outs and can handle the new energy demands and power sources from my massive nuclear power plants. Nuclear Power, you say? Yes! Because nukes are for people with balls.
Another thing I get tired of is all the money we waste on fixing things that are stupid in the first place. Take New Orleans for instance. The city is on a sand bar below sea level. Hello. Doz it. Historical? Cultural? It’s dirty and smells. Not to mention it’s sinking. Sorry folks, got to go.
Every year we spend billions on repairing lines just so that they can be knocked down again by every tree limb and ice storm or tornado that happens to come along. Do I really have to figure this out for you people? Bury the lines. You, over there, rubbing your swollen feet. You wanna eat today? Then get a shovel and shut up.
My Father lives in Georgia. They’ve just come out of 5 year drought. Meanwhile we’ve had flooding in several other states, some bordering Georgia. How hard can this be? You mean to tell me we can build a pipeline for oil all the way from Alaska but we can’t get water from one state to another? What has the Corps of Engineers been doing the last 50 years anyway? Forget the Great Wall of China. We’ll build the biggest Waterslide/Aqueduct System the earth has ever seen.
I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing about the economy. Our president seems to think you can just print the problem away. But this is the kind of thing you can expect from someone who was born without balls. This has become such a colossal mess, but really the best solution is the easiest. No more money. None. Nothing. Nada. Nil. Redistribution of wealth is for pansies! Remove the problem once and for all.
Another thing I’m tired of hearing about is illegal immigrants. This is easy. We use our borders as giant national landfills. Cross that.
As for all the idle automobile factories, they’ll be part of the military, retooled to build my army of giant robots. Not another American will die in war again… unless they get stepped on. Every giant robot will be equipped with a large set of, you guessed it, BALLS! Just in case there is any doubt.
I could go on and on, but obviously you have seen the light of my brilliance and are even now wondering how we can make it happen. Well comrades, it’s simple. Lay down your freedom, join me, and grab your balls.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Lap tops 5 .........Nightmare 0
Since arriving in KC 7 years ago I have had a pretty shitty run of luck with the beast we call LAPTOP.
You may remember just over a year and a half ago I had a series of mishaps with a dirty computer, a dying laptop and a new hard drive.
Yesterday that bitch gave out on me again.
However, I think I know why I have had such a horrible run of luck with this HP Pavilion. For the first year, I carried this thing with abandon, from one end of the States to the other, and it became filthy, inside and out. Which caused it to overheat and set off the auto shutdown to protect itself. I mistakenly thought this was my hard drive dying off, because hey lets face it I like to watch porn, and it is basically free on the interwebs.
I rush out and buy a new 250gb Hard drive, I clone the old one and I am off and running. 3 months later I am shitting myself because the NEW hard drive is acting all fucking crazy like it was going to die on me....I blamed Western Digital.
Yesterday after a week long series of blue screens, shut downs, and general mayhem, my OS disappeared. Well what I should say is that this pile of HP shitola, started acting like it did 2 years ago, when it went out the first time. So I remove EVERY screw I can see and get the keyboard off and the top up enough to hose out the guts with my air can and put it all back together.
and VIOLA!
It still worked great! As a 17 inch paper weight.
So pulling my hair out and cursing the Gods of Electronics everywhere, I made some calls was given some shoddy advice and decided that MAYBE, the drive I had laying around (the original replacement that I failed to destroy) would be able to snap right in and work like a fucking charm. Just call me Lucky the Leprechaun.
So I take out the hard drive again and set it aside, put the old new one in and fire it up. I try to repair it with my Windows CD and reboot, Nothing, nada, zippo, FUCK!
While waiting for this shit to boot up and facing the realization that I may be sans computer because I am unemployed, and there is no room in the budget for a new machine, I pick up my hard drive, the one that was working a short 6 hours prior and start looking at it. I see something weird stuck to the electronics face of this had drive.
Now if you know anything about replacing laptop hard drives, you know that there is an information side which when placed in the cradle faces the bottom of the hard drive compartment, and the electronics side is open so the drive can get fresh air and breathe. It was on this electronics side I see the weird anomaly.
I flick it with my finger nail it moves and I see what it is that I am working with.
It was a flattened staple.
Yes. I am not kidding, it was an actual staple, for binding pages and pages of stuff together. There was no stapler where I was working, nor any pages that would have been stapled together for any reason. So I take out the current hard drive and look at the cradle. Now every hard drive cradle I have ever seen has a protective covering on it made out of some heat shield material, or something. on the inside of this cradle, I see the imprints of the hard drive high spots....and lo and behold the outline of that fucking staple.
So I am guessing that when I had replaced the drive the first time and it died within three months and I blamed Western Digital for a crap product, I was wrong, and since the drives that I had, and the one I replaced it with, (now two completely dead paper weights)had this tiny piece of metal arcing the connections, I am guessing that this may very well be the last time I have to do that procedure.
So to refresh, three hard drives, one staple, and a total of 5 laptops in 7 years.
Where is my pencil sharpener? I'm going old school! send me your address and I'll snail mail this blog to you.
You may remember just over a year and a half ago I had a series of mishaps with a dirty computer, a dying laptop and a new hard drive.
Yesterday that bitch gave out on me again.
However, I think I know why I have had such a horrible run of luck with this HP Pavilion. For the first year, I carried this thing with abandon, from one end of the States to the other, and it became filthy, inside and out. Which caused it to overheat and set off the auto shutdown to protect itself. I mistakenly thought this was my hard drive dying off, because hey lets face it I like to watch porn, and it is basically free on the interwebs.
I rush out and buy a new 250gb Hard drive, I clone the old one and I am off and running. 3 months later I am shitting myself because the NEW hard drive is acting all fucking crazy like it was going to die on me....I blamed Western Digital.
Yesterday after a week long series of blue screens, shut downs, and general mayhem, my OS disappeared. Well what I should say is that this pile of HP shitola, started acting like it did 2 years ago, when it went out the first time. So I remove EVERY screw I can see and get the keyboard off and the top up enough to hose out the guts with my air can and put it all back together.
and VIOLA!
It still worked great! As a 17 inch paper weight.
So pulling my hair out and cursing the Gods of Electronics everywhere, I made some calls was given some shoddy advice and decided that MAYBE, the drive I had laying around (the original replacement that I failed to destroy) would be able to snap right in and work like a fucking charm. Just call me Lucky the Leprechaun.
So I take out the hard drive again and set it aside, put the old new one in and fire it up. I try to repair it with my Windows CD and reboot, Nothing, nada, zippo, FUCK!
While waiting for this shit to boot up and facing the realization that I may be sans computer because I am unemployed, and there is no room in the budget for a new machine, I pick up my hard drive, the one that was working a short 6 hours prior and start looking at it. I see something weird stuck to the electronics face of this had drive.
Now if you know anything about replacing laptop hard drives, you know that there is an information side which when placed in the cradle faces the bottom of the hard drive compartment, and the electronics side is open so the drive can get fresh air and breathe. It was on this electronics side I see the weird anomaly.
I flick it with my finger nail it moves and I see what it is that I am working with.
It was a flattened staple.
Yes. I am not kidding, it was an actual staple, for binding pages and pages of stuff together. There was no stapler where I was working, nor any pages that would have been stapled together for any reason. So I take out the current hard drive and look at the cradle. Now every hard drive cradle I have ever seen has a protective covering on it made out of some heat shield material, or something. on the inside of this cradle, I see the imprints of the hard drive high spots....and lo and behold the outline of that fucking staple.
So I am guessing that when I had replaced the drive the first time and it died within three months and I blamed Western Digital for a crap product, I was wrong, and since the drives that I had, and the one I replaced it with, (now two completely dead paper weights)had this tiny piece of metal arcing the connections, I am guessing that this may very well be the last time I have to do that procedure.
So to refresh, three hard drives, one staple, and a total of 5 laptops in 7 years.
Where is my pencil sharpener? I'm going old school! send me your address and I'll snail mail this blog to you.
