SMELLS LIKE BULLSHIT

This video clip pretty much sums up everything Glenn Beck has been saying for the past months in just a few seconds. An excited woman is interviewed after an Obama rally and says she will vote for Obama because 'I won't have to worry about putting gas in my car and I won't have to worry about paying my mortgage'.

Twas the Night before Elections

'Twas the night before elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down!

I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of political crap.

When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw Obama and his boys

They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the others
Who had not worked a day!

He snatched up my money
And quick as a wink
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink

He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart!

' On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers!
On Acorn, On Pelosi'
He screamed at the pairs!

They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
Who wouldn't stand up and fight!

So I leave you to think
On this one final note-
IF YOU DON'T WANT SOCIALISM
GET OUT AND VOTE!!

Thank you Spanky for this riveting poem!

Last Night the Greater Northland Jaycees participated in the the Friday Fright Night Safe Halloween Trick or Treat extravaganza.....here are some pics!














And then Here is what me and Bouby looked like while handing out the candy...

Yesterday I saw the last sign of the apocalypse.

There was a bum under the overpass at 435 and Truman, normal, and dirty....wait for it.
















On his fucking cell phone!

Well I am still here.

The trip to the sand box is still happening we just don’t know when that will be. And if it drags out long enough, well then I just may NOT go! That is what we call organization! And you know what, if that’s what we call it then we have it! Organization by the metric ass load!

So as I sit here gearing up for the third and final presidential debate, I wonder why more people don’t agree with me on some of the finer issues. And I know that we all think differently and have different views of this government, past, present and future, but I can’t help but feel slightly dumb when people want to talk to me about their candidate.

And it isn’t that I don’t know where most of the big issues stand with both of these jerk offs, it just that it doesn’t seem to matter because we as a people, as the so called “governing body of citizens”, have lost the basic principles of being American. Do you think Miles Standish would approve of our welfare system? Do you think Patrick Henry would think the Patriot Act and the Military Commissions Act, makes a lot of sense?

Talking politics to me is like arguing with me the cost of the death penalty. Everyone always says it costs more to kill a criminal then it does to keep them alive. I don’t understand that gorilla math, how is 28K annually cheaper then .45 cents one time purchase? It makes no sense to me. And I’m not going to get into an argument over whether or not the death penalty is constitutional, I don’t care if you don’t think it is, or if you want to put them through like the 10 items or less lane at the supermarket. I just can’t grasp the math…that’s all I’m saying.

So let’s segue into how bad people drive in the rain shall we?!!

This morning my commute was interrupted by a couple of shitheads who couldn’t negotiate their vehicles in a rain storm. It wasn’t like we were all running from hurricane Ike, or we saw cattle fly by our car windows like in that craptastic movie Twister…it was some fucking water falling from the sky, and somehow they could not complete this maneuver without running into each other and causing a back up of hours. Why is it that people feel the need to use their brakes when simply lifting your foot off of the petal would achieve the same if not greater results? Are drivers intrinsically stupid or is this a learned behavior?

Seriously I would like an answer!

Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?

Yeah I know there is something wrong with the economy. Greedy people fucked it up and now shit is worth less than it used to be.

The DOW reported that it was down to its lowest point in 5 years yesterday (10/9/08) for those in the future. Let me see if my feeble semi mentally retarded mind can shed some fucking light on this.

It was about 8 years ago that we first started hearing about the flex mortgage plan…give or take a few years because I am too fucking lazy to get on google and find out for sure..but it was about 5 years ago when it really started taking off. How do I know this? I know a couple of people, and I know I am probably not alone here, that got caught up in the “right” of home ownership and went out and got one of these fucked up mortgages even though they knew that couldn’t afford it.

So with my crazy gorilla math, wouldn’t that mean that this sudden down turn in the market is just taking the overblown portfolios of the greedy fucks and making it all better adjusted to the actual value of the company, homes, non stupid people who thought home OWNERSHIP is a right and not a privilege? That Big Business committed fraud to increase the value of their stock to line the upper echelon’s pockets? Complete companies created that do nothing ala Enron?

When you pour a beer you get a head of foam on it. If you let it settle down all that fluffy foam will be gone and you will have just beer! Just what you ordered, it looks like less, and it isn’t ready for a picture on the cover of Rolling Stone, and it will tastes worse than if you would have drank it with the head still on it. However the true value of that beer is shown by waiting until the foam has settled.

I just wish our government would NOT do the bailout, and I would LOVE you see all of the people who bought outside of their means, have to move back to the interior corridor, maybe then there would be enough people to keep urban crime down and get better communities developed so we can have better schools that will attract better teachers who will teach kids that when they get old enough to buy a house they know how to read ALL of the words and understand when they are being LIED to by some slick fly by night mortgage company…or stock broker like in that crazy movie Boiler room.

Join the Liberty party!

First , Thank you all for your notes of encouragement and understanding. I know that I am not the most compassionate guy on paper, but most of you know I’m the sappy fat kid that cries at a good baby commercial. That being said last Friday was hard as hell and we still have an empty spot.
So thank you all for everything.

Next tidbit of craptastic news.

I received an email yesterday morning that tells me that I am part of the first wave of installers that will be heading to Saudi Arabia. Possibly as soon as FRIDAY!

This does not sit well with the Mrs.

And I still have unresolved issues that need to be addressed before I get on a plane, I was told that this would happen today when the boss came in.
As long as I get what I was told I would get I don’t have any problem doing what is asked of me. However if there is a SNAFU somewhere my big ass doesn’t get on a plane.

Hopefully one of these concerns will allow me to get that new camera that I want. A nice 12megepixel DSLR named after a siege weapon! They have them in a treasure hunt on costco.com for a paltry 799.99 and they come with two lens standard 50MM and a 75-300 zoom. I would need to sell my film camera so if anyone is looking for a complete set up, I have a doosy for ya! Email me and I'll drop some knowledge on Ya!

6 years ago, I met the love of my life, and I think she knew that I was the one when her dogs, Jade and Cinnamon took a shine to me right away. It wasn’t an easy road for a while when I moved in with Bouby, the “girls” as they were referred to had to learn that there was a new Alpha in the house and that some things were going to change.
The first thing was where they slept. We moved them into the kitchen where we could better control their shedding. It was a good move especially after we made the decision to replace the carpet with hard wood. Jade the Rottweiler and I had some memorable run ins during this transition period, like for instance she is the lover, she needs to be petted at all times and likes nothing more to be rubbed on. Cinnamon, not so much. Jade likes to sit on your feet, and roll her butt in a way that allows her to look up at you and lean on your leg. It was this action that caused me much pain on at least two occasions, when she did this and hyper extended my knee, causing me to cry and my leg to swell.
Bouby got Jade when she was 6 weeks old from a puppy mill, not a groovy puppy farm like my Dad owns but your run of the mill, crappy, puppy mill that sold diseased and undernourished pups of indistinguishable breeding. Jade was so little back then she fit on Bouby’s forearm, slept, and ate, did all of the regular baby stuff, then a week later she was 140 pounds and thought she could still fit on the forearm.
I met Jade at the great age of 4 and she was a runner, used to chase all of the squirrels, bunnies, birds and any other animal that would wander into the yard. She had a plastic dinosaur that she chewed the shit out of. Bouby never taught her how to fetch or any of the regular tricks and by the time I was in the picture I think all of the learning was chased out of her head by worms or something, she just wasn’t very smart, or at least she didn’t act very smart. So we just had fun doing things she liked, like brushing her, and scratching her ass, and, well most of the same stuff woman like, paying the tiniest bit of attention to her and she was like putty in your hand. She gets so excited when we break out the leash she doesn’t even care if all she is doing is going to the vet. One time she got so excited she gave me a ride down the stairs like a pony! Jerked the leash right in between my legs and down the basement stairs we went I felt like a rodeo clown.
All she did was love.
She knows now hate, nor anger, and she has one of the best personalities I have ever had in a dog.
I know other people can talk about the unconditional love that their dog has for them, but Jade has unconditional love for everyone. When you first meet her she will bark and wag her little stubby tail, and then she will expect you to be just as happy to see her as she is to see you, so scratching is a must and then some petting. However she knows that if you have something else to do that is ok too, as long as you acknowledge that she is there and happy, a couple of ear rubs is all she needs.
Which is why doing what needs to be done today so hard.
A couple of months ago we took her in for a checkup because she wasn’t using her front leg, and we were told that her arthritis is causing this and that she will be on meds until she dies. Last week we took her in because she stopped eating and had lost a lot of weight in a week. Now the Dr thinks cancer, and so we had blood work done and the next morning we came back and the blood work is inconclusive, however it shows an infection, possible dehydration , and the kidneys may be shutting down. The prognosis is Cancer. With the kidney problem we can’t even do a biopsy the anesthesia would kill her on the table. So we have been giving her antibiotics and trying to get her to eat. Wednesday was the last day we gave her the pills, she hasn’t ate anything for 4 days, and in one hour we will be taking her to the vet for the permanent drop off.

Bouby and I are sick with grief.

Good bye Jade you were one of the best.

Do you know what I love about America? There are 200 million people (give or take a Million) who live here and every four years we parade 4 people in front of the American people that less then 20% of the people vote for and these 4 people I wouldn't trust with set of rubber chopsticks. Why can't we find, and or elect someone who isn't a complete KOOK?

Obama- has 173 days of experience as a senator...thats it.
Biden- Racist, Sexist loud mouth who is the only guy laughing at his lame jokes.
McAin- way to fucking old and crazy, he is like your crazy uncle Larry who screams at pigeons in the park because they are government spies.
Palin- Fuck, are you kidding me? She believes that every specie of animal lived within walking distance of Noah's house! That her invisible sky buddy is better then ALL of the other invisible sky friends that all of the other religious nutjobs believe in.

Out of 200 million this is the fucking best we got? I am forced to once again exercise my right as an American to NOT FUCKING VOTE FOR ANY OF THEM! I think I'll just draw a big fucking pussy on my ballot and push it into the box and giggle! Maybe I'll stink palm it first to give the census people something to think about. If we all did that maybe they would catch a clue.

If you don't know what stink palming is, just go for a long walk, get a good sweat going and then jam your hands down the back of your pants right into you ass crack...go deep, get a good fist full of moist sweaty ass stench and then wipe it on something or someone...won't come off for days. I learned this by watching Mall Rats! Awesome film.

How the fuck can we continue to put people in office that have ZERO business being there? If these people were good at anything besides bullshitting they would be doing that. This overblown sense of power and responsibility very seldom actually HELPS the people or the country.

Fuck it here are some funny pictures for you.