Monday, July 09, 2007
Those crazy weekend antics!
This last weekend was a spectacular showcase of sillyness and spending money that we don’t have. HOWEVER IT was well worth it all.
Friday we went to bed early because we are lame old people who partied way too much in our teens, 20’s and 30’s.
Saturday I went and played golf with some old friends of mine and that was a blast. I shot an average of 3 over par for the front 9, and since I had a pool party to attend that afternoon we didn’t run the back nine. But I hear that sex and golf are the only two things you can be bad at and still enjoy, and I’m sure that if I played more then 3 times a year I would be better at it. But I don’t because I am not retired yet….yet.
Then a friend of Bouby’s had invited us to a pool party with her and her husband, their 5 kids, her sisters 3 kids, and her friends 4 kids, as well as her dad, his mail order bride, and their new baby….yes he knocked up his new wife, and now the family of procreators have a baby sister. I would love to be there for that explanation..”Daddy why is my sister 34 years older then me?”
“Well baby …hand me that inhaler, and turn up my oxygen, The reason is ..*Cough cough sputter* I say the reason is *Cough cough* Goddamnit! I knocked up your mother as soon as I got her in country…that’s all you need to know…now wheel me into the sun, I need some vitamin D.”
Ok he probably isn’t that old but, he is old enough to know how babies are made, hell he made 4 others from his first wife. I’m just saying, Trojan….cheaper then diapers.
At least his life insurance will pay for the college education.
But all of the girls that were walking around that pool…well they were all so cute and they kept hitting me, I’m glad Bouby was there I might have been tempted to scoop them up and snuggle!
This last one is Joey the Duck Future gangster.
But I’m also happier then a pig in shit that we were able to go to this party with none of our own and leave when we wanted with no crying, or whining or desperate attempts to stay by clinging of the legs. There was like 20 screaming and giggling kinds ranging from 1-17 yrs old in the pool and man a live were they noisy! So when I had finally had enough screaming and giggling and flirting with 3 year olds, we decided to go home and do some more sleeping.
THEN! And here is the exciting part of the story, on Sunday, we went to The Woodlands, KC own dog and horse track because my email notification told me that the best birthday present in the world was running in the last race at Churchill Downs for the spring and summer season. So my older brother and Bouby and I loaded up and went to the track.
I’m telling you if you haven’t been to a horse track on a regular day, not like the Derby, or the Preakness, but like on a Sunday, you are missing out on some of the best people watching on the planet! You get to see such a great cross section of people, From the 75 year old Grinder who sits there day in and day out grinding out a living on his knowledge of horses, racing and jockeys, all the way down to the weekly welfare mom using her left over WIC coupons, to sell to the Pimp on the corner for 10 cents on the dollar, so she can bet her dogs, and make the rent so she doesn’t have to blow the landlord again this month.
Naturally I’m speculating, she could have been from JOCO.
But anyway it was the first time back on the track for Tis A Man, our horse, and he was favored to win, naturally since we have a vested interest in the horse, we bet big.
Well he got bumped coming out of the gate, and never recovered, and I’m pretty sure that our jockey was using the whip on his own ass, not the horse.
Sadistic Jockeys never work out…they get too distracted
So we were out about $150.00 (including our tab) and then it was back to bed.
Friday we went to bed early because we are lame old people who partied way too much in our teens, 20’s and 30’s.
Saturday I went and played golf with some old friends of mine and that was a blast. I shot an average of 3 over par for the front 9, and since I had a pool party to attend that afternoon we didn’t run the back nine. But I hear that sex and golf are the only two things you can be bad at and still enjoy, and I’m sure that if I played more then 3 times a year I would be better at it. But I don’t because I am not retired yet….yet.
Then a friend of Bouby’s had invited us to a pool party with her and her husband, their 5 kids, her sisters 3 kids, and her friends 4 kids, as well as her dad, his mail order bride, and their new baby….yes he knocked up his new wife, and now the family of procreators have a baby sister. I would love to be there for that explanation..”Daddy why is my sister 34 years older then me?”
“Well baby …hand me that inhaler, and turn up my oxygen, The reason is ..*Cough cough sputter* I say the reason is *Cough cough* Goddamnit! I knocked up your mother as soon as I got her in country…that’s all you need to know…now wheel me into the sun, I need some vitamin D.”
Ok he probably isn’t that old but, he is old enough to know how babies are made, hell he made 4 others from his first wife. I’m just saying, Trojan….cheaper then diapers.
At least his life insurance will pay for the college education.
But all of the girls that were walking around that pool…well they were all so cute and they kept hitting me, I’m glad Bouby was there I might have been tempted to scoop them up and snuggle!
This last one is Joey the Duck Future gangster.
But I’m also happier then a pig in shit that we were able to go to this party with none of our own and leave when we wanted with no crying, or whining or desperate attempts to stay by clinging of the legs. There was like 20 screaming and giggling kinds ranging from 1-17 yrs old in the pool and man a live were they noisy! So when I had finally had enough screaming and giggling and flirting with 3 year olds, we decided to go home and do some more sleeping.
THEN! And here is the exciting part of the story, on Sunday, we went to The Woodlands, KC own dog and horse track because my email notification told me that the best birthday present in the world was running in the last race at Churchill Downs for the spring and summer season. So my older brother and Bouby and I loaded up and went to the track.
I’m telling you if you haven’t been to a horse track on a regular day, not like the Derby, or the Preakness, but like on a Sunday, you are missing out on some of the best people watching on the planet! You get to see such a great cross section of people, From the 75 year old Grinder who sits there day in and day out grinding out a living on his knowledge of horses, racing and jockeys, all the way down to the weekly welfare mom using her left over WIC coupons, to sell to the Pimp on the corner for 10 cents on the dollar, so she can bet her dogs, and make the rent so she doesn’t have to blow the landlord again this month.
Naturally I’m speculating, she could have been from JOCO.
But anyway it was the first time back on the track for Tis A Man, our horse, and he was favored to win, naturally since we have a vested interest in the horse, we bet big.
Well he got bumped coming out of the gate, and never recovered, and I’m pretty sure that our jockey was using the whip on his own ass, not the horse.
Sadistic Jockeys never work out…they get too distracted
So we were out about $150.00 (including our tab) and then it was back to bed.
