Friday, June 13, 2008
The energy solution!!
Ladies, Gentlemen, Troglodytes...I have finally figured it out.
The entire world is dependent on oil. We all know this and we also that sooner or later it will all run out. So today while I was at lunch I had an epiphany, I think I may have solved the energy crisis. One of the things that we humans do, and do well I feel will be able to create a constant supply of fuel. Not only constant but one that is highly useful for just about all of the fuel needs the planet has to offer.
Babies.
That's right I said babies. If there is one thing that the human race can do almost as good as rabbits or rodents is to reproduce. We create more unwanted and more useless offspring's then any other species on earth. We do not push the old, weak, worthless, or stupid to the edge of the herd and we should. Well this way we will have a place to push all of these people.
But since we don't want to wait, we'll just use crack whores, welfare moms, and other breeders that don't contribute to society. How will we decide what is a contribution to society? well we use an old scale used back in the 1600's "if you don't work you don't eat!"
So we set up some rendering plants, and start processing Baby oil. REAL baby oil, made from real babies. You can have two kids to raise as your own and then any others will need to be turned over to the department of energy. All old people, who are out of breeding age, need to fill out their body donor cards and get ready to become fuel. There will be no more burials, no need for fancy coffins or mausoleums, we won't need the entire funeral profession, no more abortions, if you get knocked up you MUST carry it to full term and then if you do not want it you turn it over to the department of energy for proper fuel processing. Suicide is no longer illegal, if you want to kill yourself, fine go to the department of energy and turn in your donor card, you will be processed with a last meal and your choice of slepy time meds.
So stop worrying about the oil, the cost of gas, and whether or not you should buy that V8 or the 2.5 cylinder smart car. Babies and the elderly are the answer. With the rednecks and the lazy we will HURL ourselves into a future that isn't dependent on foreign oil any more. The beauty part of this is we will have more land for golf courses and retail space.
The entire world is dependent on oil. We all know this and we also that sooner or later it will all run out. So today while I was at lunch I had an epiphany, I think I may have solved the energy crisis. One of the things that we humans do, and do well I feel will be able to create a constant supply of fuel. Not only constant but one that is highly useful for just about all of the fuel needs the planet has to offer.
Babies.
That's right I said babies. If there is one thing that the human race can do almost as good as rabbits or rodents is to reproduce. We create more unwanted and more useless offspring's then any other species on earth. We do not push the old, weak, worthless, or stupid to the edge of the herd and we should. Well this way we will have a place to push all of these people.
But since we don't want to wait, we'll just use crack whores, welfare moms, and other breeders that don't contribute to society. How will we decide what is a contribution to society? well we use an old scale used back in the 1600's "if you don't work you don't eat!"
So we set up some rendering plants, and start processing Baby oil. REAL baby oil, made from real babies. You can have two kids to raise as your own and then any others will need to be turned over to the department of energy. All old people, who are out of breeding age, need to fill out their body donor cards and get ready to become fuel. There will be no more burials, no need for fancy coffins or mausoleums, we won't need the entire funeral profession, no more abortions, if you get knocked up you MUST carry it to full term and then if you do not want it you turn it over to the department of energy for proper fuel processing. Suicide is no longer illegal, if you want to kill yourself, fine go to the department of energy and turn in your donor card, you will be processed with a last meal and your choice of slepy time meds.
So stop worrying about the oil, the cost of gas, and whether or not you should buy that V8 or the 2.5 cylinder smart car. Babies and the elderly are the answer. With the rednecks and the lazy we will HURL ourselves into a future that isn't dependent on foreign oil any more. The beauty part of this is we will have more land for golf courses and retail space.
