Thursday, May 29, 2008


Why ask Why?

People have started asking me all the time “How is married life treating you?”. And I know I have asked that question before so some of this will be directed at myself.

Helpful hint #1.

When a friend or colleague gets hitched, it is only appropriate to ask that question if you want to blow them.

I know that seems a bit much but let me explain. Most people getting married nowadays have the luxury of knowing their spouse for a long time, or at least knowing of them for a long time. No one is being forced into an arranged marriage, nor is anyone marrying because they knocked up the girl next door late one night in the back seat of daddy's Nash Rambler. Those days are long past and for the most part good riddance. So if you are one of the people who continues to ask this question to friends and family you need to stop it...unless you are fishing for an opening because you secretly want to blow them, like so;

“So how's married life treating you”

“Well I'm glad you asked, since I got married to that bitch who I thought was my soul mate, who turned out to be a soul sucking life killer...not so good...if only there was someone willing to love me for who I am and not who they think they want me to be, and naturally to blow me in public. I guess I'll just have to learn to love her”

“*YIPPEE, an opening*, Well you don't have to settle for a soul sucking life killing bitch , I love you for you, gimme your junk I wanna taste it”

“You want to blow me in public? Well sure, 'ZIPPP' there ya go”
“Om nom nom nom “

So you see dear readers, unless that is the angle you're shooting for that question is old fashioned and moot. As a personal example Bouby and I lived in sin for 5 years before we got married. Trust me, there was no wedding night surprises, she didn't suddenly change into a succubus, she is the she crazy broad I fell in love with, she knew well in advance that I smell bad and hate yard work, not to mention my heavy “lotion use” in front of a computer. So if you wanna know how my life has changed, it hasn't, and married or single and shacking up, once you figure out that her peccadilloes, and quirks are the good parts, and you can deal with that...settle in for a long ride.

And stop bothering newlyweds with inane questions, fuck ask me about the Royals chances at winning the World Series, you'll get the same answer...Fuck, Same Shit Different Day.

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