Wednesday, May 07, 2008


Well POOP!

Yesterday I was feeling , how shall I say this? ...a little bloated...and I had a little bit of acid churning my gut, so I took 1/2 a dose of MOM. Now if you aren't familiar with the MOM, it is liquid chalk infused with a laxative. Who ever came up with this torture cocktail need to be beaten to death with their own appendages. I wake up this morning with a slight hangover and cramps like food poisoning.

I bolt to the toilet...or as the older set calls ..the commode...and seat myself with authority that only comes with the urgency that you are seconds away from blowing mud all over the fine porcelain exterior of said toilet.

Seated and partially confused, I mean I was hungover, it was then that the rumblings in my gut turned from thunder, to micro burst and I swear my ass lifted just a smidgen with the sweet release of whatever Satan induced toxic ass fluid shot out of my body.

My pants fit better now.

On a side note if you haven't tried the Alka-Seltzer Hangover tabs...that are the fucking BOMB! full on bunker buster! LOVE THEM! It is aspirin, and caffeine in a tasty fizzy tablet! It is so awesome it could have been made by The D


So with the entire work IT system killing itself last month, the PTB have decided that NO outside computers will be allowed on the domain, and if you want your personal computer on the domain it needs to be completely purged and only certain "special" programs will be installed on the system.

Basically I'm completely fucked.

Let me tell you a short tale....

When I first started computing back in 1993, I was against all things Bill Gates. I thought it was funny that all computers came with Outlook and Explorer....neither program is cool, or do they work as well as the other 12 million email and interweb browsers, I was a Netscape guy, and later Firefox and Thunderbird...both amazing programs that really take you to the next level of control...and without that pesky Bill Gates peeking in on your registration cards checking to see whether or not you're his minion.

So naturally I was confused when I was told that EVERYONE will be using Outlook....I don't know Outlook, I have never used Outlook, I fucking HATE...nay LOATHE now I am forced to be Bill's Minion and guess what? it won't import my fucking address files I have on my desk All of my 6 years worth of email addys... worthless on my new work station.

So I'm gonna put ground glass in the guacamole.

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