Thursday, February 14, 2008


Explanations and questions....(Sub title) NASCAR and Pussy

Ok first an explanation or two...

If you haven't noticed there is a new button on my side bar right over there on the left...see it? No higher, not the picture you mooks, below it...see the TIP ME button, yeah well that is the new button. How it works is if you like what you read, and want to give me a tip you can click that button and leave me a .25. That quarter never sees my pocket, but after I get 5 bucks, I can collect it in the form a gift card (shape of a Ice penis)and donate it to my favorite charity. So the more I make you grin and the happier you are with my re-dumbness, and asshattery...the more money I can give to the starving frogs of New Zealand.

So use the tip jar and make the NKCJC folks a little bit of scratch...

As some of you, or maybe none of you know I have a Sirius Satellite radio....they are really pumping up the 50th running of Daytona 500.

That's right folks we have been watching rednecks drive in circles for 50 years. I know that NASCAR is HUGE sport for most of the population and I don't really understand . I can watch just as many douche nozzles and cock sucking door knobs drive in circles and wreck if I sit on any of the overpasses on the 435 loop around KC. And don't give me any shit about how it is different if you are at the track, it isn't it is still dumb assed rednecks driving left at break neck speeds while even dumber assed people sit in the sweltering sun and watch them do this cockamamy exercise. It just seems like there would more important things to do then drive in circles and hopefully not get killed doing it. Besides it is boring.

Now don't get me wrong I like watching a good race, I just don't want to watch the SAME race for 5 hours or longer. I enjoy going to the dirt track and watching the serious rednecks drive the modified stock cars, or the midget sprints, that shit is funny, and fun to watch.

What is the difference you ask? well I'll fucking tell ya!

If NASCAR would ditch the "one day extra long who fucking can stay drunk that long to pay attention to the race", races and do it my way, they would increase their fan base, and triple their income.

NASCAR needs to go back to the old school style of race management. You set it up to where you only have 5, maybe 10 cars on the track and you run 20 laps, with fewer cars you have fewer chances for wrecking and thus faster speeds. With faster speeds, you have quicker races and the opportunity to have more spectacular wrecks! Which is really why all of those fat assed rednecks are there to see anyway, they are very "Roman-esque" in that way. After that race is run, you have a little bit of time to get the next race ready, and you continue to race all day. Then you take the top 2 finishers from every race and put them in the finals, this is for all the marbles, and this way the little guys get an opportunity to advance to the finals you know the guys, you never see them on ESPN unless that have a funny name like "Dick Trickle".

So you race all day and still have one big race at the end, HOWEVER, it is comprised of just heat winners and the seconds. here is where the cool part comes in. If you did it this way, you would also time them and much like the Masters Golf tournys, that last 3 days, if you don't have the top 50 lap times that day you do not advance to the next day's events. This way you stretch it out top a three day even and not have a bunch of crap like IRL, or the Truck Series to fill in the gaps. You would still issue points to the winners and the point leaders would only have to race in the semi finals each night. If they win, they move on to the next semi final the following day, unless their lap time doesn't qualify them to do so. then on Sunday...or what ever day it falls on the winners of all the semi's race a 35 lap final race, and winner takes all. 3 days, 15-18 races, the DRIVERS would be tested not the cars, and more butts in the stands.

I count that as a win win win situation.

But really shouldn't we outlaw this kind of shit until we force them to race solar powered cars so they aren't polluting and sucking up all of the gas so it costs me 50 bucks to fill my tank up?

Happy Valentines day BOUBY!! I love you and want to stick my wiener in ya and wiggle it for a couple minutes!

Is there any question why she loves me? I'm a hopeless romantic!

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