Sunday, December 02, 2007


My unexplained absence..

Well I have been gone for the last 5 days because it was time for me to regroup and try and get my game face back. Work has been hard because of a consultant and his cryptic demands that make little to no sense. Hopefully that will all change.

But I did what I usually do this time of year and I went to visit my Dad and tried to kill some big assed deer.

I am 50-50 on what I needed to get accomplished. I did see my Dad and that was great. I didn't kill any deer. I am still really pissed off at that fact because I had a shot (pardon the pun) at a GINORMOUS buck that would have been the highlight of my deer hunting career. This mother fukker was easily 14 points, 320 lbs, and if you know anything about deer hunting it was around a 170-190 B/C class deer.

Here is why I was so mad.

I was out on poacher patrol, you know making sure that the cock smoking out of staters aren't trying to play stupid and hunting where ever they want and then pleading ignorance...which is why I had my .357 on my lap locked and loaded. But anywho, I was driving slow around the neighborhood when my phone rings, it was my dad asking where I was because there was a huge deer just off to the west by the house. I keep him talking as I slowly turn a nice leisurely drive around the section into a mad scramble, high speed, Dukes of Hazzard-esq race home.

I get the info from Daddy-O and I start looking for the buck...I don't see him, so I head back to the house to talk to Pops face to face. He tells e that he thinks the buck laid down at the edge of the field and that I should drive down to where I had been parking for the previous 3 days. So I do and I walk the edge of the field and I see nothing, so I head back to the house, Pops meets me about 3/4ths the way home, and says " Why don't you go sit at the edge and I'll drive the 4 wheeler through the weeds and see if we can't scare up that deer or possibly anyone else that may be in there.

So I agree that may be a pretty good idea and I turn around and head back. After I get parked, my rifle in hand I start walking the fence line. I was scanning the terrain and looking for a good place where I thought that, if I was a deer that would be the best place to cross, I see a spot where the old fence was down and there was a small clearing near there and I was convinced that was where a full herd of deer would run out from. There was also a grouping of three trees that would be perfect for me use as an impromptu blind, and I headed for it.

This is where I would think back and tell my elf that I was a complete fucking retard-asauras.

As I make my way to the trees, and start to wedge my big ass into position and in doing so I trim off a large (baseball bat) sized dead branch. Something moved out of the corner of my eye....I look up and see the monster not 20 feet away from me bedded down in some tall weeds. Before I could get my gun up he was motoring. I step back out into the field and wait for him to it open ground where I just know he'll be hanging on my wall soon,

That big bastard hit the open ground at mach 3 and all I saw in my scope was a brown fuzzy blur, I shot, cycled the bolt and looked for him again. My scope is a 3X9 variable Weaver, it is an exceptional scope, I like it, however when you are making a short range shot you don't want it on the 9X power setting because you don't really see your see fuzzy brown, and if it is doing Mach 3, you have exactly .0025 seconds to shoot....I am not that good. So I tried for the second shot and again no good, and then I shot a third time in sheer anger hoping that I could trust fate to not let me down.

The bitch did let me down,,, I missed.

So again, 2 out of three years deer 2 Nightmare 1.

The next day my cousin / Hunting guide decided to take me out in a storm and walk the creek (he says crik). Turns out that wearing a camo snow suit and marching in unseasonably hot weather for 12.5 miles through a Vietnam style jungle while carrying a 12 lb rifle, is a really REALLY stupid Idea. I'm still exhausted. and my knee ( you know the one with no cartilage, has swollen up the size of a volley ball.

Good times....goood times.

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