SMELLS LIKE BULLSHIT

There is so much not going on I could write anti-volumes. I put that quote up because I got tired of writing about people that piss me off. I know that is strange, me Nightmare with no anger? With no hate and nothing to say about it? Well I have once again tried to make myself a better person.

Since I have lost almost 60lbs since last year, I have decided to only have nice thoughts and if that means taking massive amounts of Xanax, well I guess that I will be looking for some more pushers. I need to be calmer, and I need to lose some of this stress, this stress that keeps me up at night and the stress that ties my gut in knots concerned about what I’m going to do for the rest of my life.

Should life continue to be one of complacency? Should I just be happy to be a drone in the hive? Is happiness as Dennis Leary says it is, all in “little” joys? The Joy of a cookie, of a smoke, an orgasm? Should we only relish this kind of happiness or is there another kind? Is there a balance between complete hedonism and a life of complete drudgery? How do we locate and find what we need to be happy? People have always said find what you love to do and make that your life’s work. What if what I love to do is try new things and new ways of dong things? How is that going to keep the bills paid and a roof over the head? I don’t have any answers, maybe that is my problem, maybe I need to find that help wanted section of the newspaper and seek my own Ishmael Or is it that simple? How do you locate and find happiness? Is it a feeling, an act, a simple way of looking at the stupid and the suffering and accepting them for their flaws and making sure you don’t do like the other monkeys do?

I see happy people out there, I know there is a happiness to be found, but have they settled? Is happiness just a form of tolerance that allows everyone to see past , or ignore , the bothersome people, workplace and stupid?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Seriously, how did YOU find happiness…if you have. Is it a state of mind? Or is it more then that? How do you know you’re happy? Where does this feeling come from? Please enlighten me.

What makes you happy and why?

This way has to be cheaper then therapy.