Thursday, May 31, 2007


When is it my turn?

Why isn’t there a Men’s Magazine to help guys get through a mid life crisis without looking like a complete asshole?

Bouby and I have been doing this diet thing for almost 11 weeks, and I’ll admit 99% of the clients there are middle age broads who have “Big Chair Ass” or some other office based disorder. So naturally I wasn’t shocked at the selection of magazines, ala “Lucky” The magazine for the shopper in you, “Cosmo”, and Some other generic “why aren’t you as pretty as the women in here” magazine, and then shockingly enough there was also a couple of men’s magazines too, nothing I get at the house, because I’m not a Metro-Sexual, but still geared toward the penis keepers.

Then I noticed and started reading a magazine called “more” and it is for the over 40 woman, who doesn’t feel over 40, or doesn’t want to admit that she is well on her way to matronly. You can check out the web site HERE, but I picked these magazines up because they have very attractive women on the front covers and I grew up with 2 brothers and a single Mom, so all we had around the house to read was Woman’s Day, Cosmo, and Red Book…I was very prepared for women, when they became less “icky”…

Anyway the tag line for this magazine is “Reinvent yourself after 40, your guide to an even better life” , the copy I stole has Virginia Madsen on the cover, and has articles like “What to wear for the rest of your life”, and “Dressing for my next life, ‘A former fashion editor learns to let go of Couture’”(I don’t get this one isn’t the point of the magazine to show women how to hold on to some of that couture?), There is also an article entitled “Power Foods for Midlife Bodies” Which tells women all about what to eat to lower disease risk and your weight…

So I’m wondering why hasn’t some editor came up with a format that covers this same shit with men? And I’m not talking about shit rags like Maxim, and Playboy, those are for the little pud pullers and douchebag 20 somethings who think that General Lee is a car, and that holding your liquor is being able to wait until the car has stopped before puking out the window.

Where is the older gen X tail of the party bus magazine for men? I mean, here I am almost 40 and I want a magazine that helps me stave off looking like a fat bag of old man with dark socks, plaid shorts and a bald spot that looks like my head has a moon roof. Where is the help here? There is a whole generation of men who were raised in the late 70’s-early 80’s that are now middle age, and we feel like we just stepped off the high school graduation stage and all we know is that Viagra and Cialis will help keep our cocks hard, so we can continue to fuck the chicks in the commercials who look 20 years younger then us.

What the Fuck? Over….

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