Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Rain makes Morons like Sex makes Babies
So I’m driving to work this morning and it is raining, not that I didn’t expect it to be because that was all they could talk about on TV this morning, LOTS OF RAIN… BLAH BLAH BLAH … EXPECT LOTS OF RAIN… BLAH BLAH BLAH….. so I’m driving like a usually do, only not 10MPH OVER the speed limit, just the speed limit, and naturally I’m cussing the insanely large amount of retards who are driving like they are in a funeral procession, but since I’m doing a good impersonation of a Navajo woman (I was weaving…see that is funny shit right there!) I’m only mostly enraged, not fully pissed like when it snows.
So I have to get over in the right hand lane to exit, to get to my place of employment, and lo- and behold the whole lane drops to around 45-50 MPH…WTF OVER? I bellow at no one. Then I notice that one by one, slowly each car in front of me gets into the middle lane…that’s weird, I think…why on earth would these people get into a lane that is getting increasingly slower due to the increased amount of people getting in it? Why dear lord why?
As I approach the truck in front of me it turns on the left indicator telling me that he too is joining the over crowded middle laners….I don’t see why, there doesn’t seem to be any one in front of him, nor do I see flashing lights of a wreck, or a tow truck, or your favorite emergency vehicle du jour…nothing, I see nothing. Finally this guy makes his move and I spot the irritation…
Wait for it.
It’s coming….
I couldn’t believe it either…
A Fucking ass hat on a motorcycle.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love the motorcycles, I have been riding, nor at least able to ride since I was 10, I understand the need to feel like a manly man and ride that fucker anywhere and every where, I really do…HOWEVER!!! If you cannot drive the fucking motorcycle at the proper speed that ALL OF FUCKING CREATION SEEMS TO BE DRIVING BUT YOU, maybe you should have drove your fucking car!
So naturally I ride his tail light…about 3 feet off of his tail light to be exact, and yes it did really piss him off, and he did give me a rude finger gesture, but you know…I don’t fucking care. If you own a motorcycle, and you wan to drive it, cool, just don’t cause traffic, if you can’t run with the pack, then pull the fuck off the road and wait out the goddamned weather….FUCKING CUM-DUMPSTERS!
So I have to get over in the right hand lane to exit, to get to my place of employment, and lo- and behold the whole lane drops to around 45-50 MPH…WTF OVER? I bellow at no one. Then I notice that one by one, slowly each car in front of me gets into the middle lane…that’s weird, I think…why on earth would these people get into a lane that is getting increasingly slower due to the increased amount of people getting in it? Why dear lord why?
As I approach the truck in front of me it turns on the left indicator telling me that he too is joining the over crowded middle laners….I don’t see why, there doesn’t seem to be any one in front of him, nor do I see flashing lights of a wreck, or a tow truck, or your favorite emergency vehicle du jour…nothing, I see nothing. Finally this guy makes his move and I spot the irritation…
Wait for it.
It’s coming….
I couldn’t believe it either…
A Fucking ass hat on a motorcycle.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love the motorcycles, I have been riding, nor at least able to ride since I was 10, I understand the need to feel like a manly man and ride that fucker anywhere and every where, I really do…HOWEVER!!! If you cannot drive the fucking motorcycle at the proper speed that ALL OF FUCKING CREATION SEEMS TO BE DRIVING BUT YOU, maybe you should have drove your fucking car!
So naturally I ride his tail light…about 3 feet off of his tail light to be exact, and yes it did really piss him off, and he did give me a rude finger gesture, but you know…I don’t fucking care. If you own a motorcycle, and you wan to drive it, cool, just don’t cause traffic, if you can’t run with the pack, then pull the fuck off the road and wait out the goddamned weather….FUCKING CUM-DUMPSTERS!
