Monday, April 30, 2007
Kids will say the funniest shit...
KIDS WRITE ABOUT THE SEA
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have
sea all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy age 8)
6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with
crabs. (Millie age 6)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross
the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would
whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been
better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny
tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?
(Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my
big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I
think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes
my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers
can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)
13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired
right up her fat ass. (Jule age 7)
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have
sea all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy age 8)
6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with
crabs. (Millie age 6)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross
the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would
whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been
better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny
tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?
(Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my
big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I
think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes
my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers
can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)
13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired
right up her fat ass. (Jule age 7)
