Friday, April 27, 2007


Blast from the Past!

Last night I got a phone call from an old college roommate, whom I have had on numerous occasions to get falling down shitfaced drunk.

He started out the conversation with a really bad joke about how he was seeing a shrink about is unusual phobia concerning , nickels, dimes, pennys, and quarters. After the first session naturally the Dr. informed him there was nothing to worry about he just feared change.

Yeah good one.
So then he tells me that he was reading a story to his little girls about “The Red Hen”. Since I haven’t seen this clown for 20 years, but do get to chat with him occasionally I didn’t make the connection right away. He told me that all that was running through his mind while reading this book was ;
“One red hen…”
I was thinking”…Go on…?”
Then he said the next line and I almost shit myself laughing.
“A couple of Ducks”
The drunken memories ofr a 20 year old living with a bunch of football players in the SF Bay area , washed over me in such a tumultuous roar, I couldn’t stop laughing. It was such a powerful memory, that I could taste the whiskey, smell the summer bay breeze, felt the bruising on my knees from stumbling face down on the sidewalk because I was too drunk.

For those 10 readers I know come round daily, I will let you know this is by far the most wonderful ice breaking, drinking game ever invented. The rules are simple;
1) One person, preferably the soberest one, starts the game, and he/she needs to know all of the phrases and should be able to recite them without slurring throughout the entire game. Beer is the drink of choice with this but for the hard core you may choose to play with shots…hell we did.
2) The Orator starts with the phrase “One Red Hen” and takes a drink, the next person at the table, in the circle, whatever, repeats the phrase and takes a drink. This goes on all the way around the table, until it reaches the Orator.
3) At this time the Orator adds to the phrase, saying One red hen and a couple of ducks. Repeat around the table.
4) This goes on for 10 rounds if you can make it that long, the phrase gets quite long and tongue twisty.
5) Here is the catch is you fuck up you must take a drink and start over, if you fuck up twice you take a drink and start over, on the third mistake you pound a FRESH drink and you’re out.
6) Last man standing wins.

I was contemplating not sharing the entire list of phrases, but that seems a tad harsh, after all a drinking game this good needs to be shared world wide! So here are the phrases, learn it, know it, practice them often and do it drunk, and you too will be a wonderful party guest.

1) One Red Hen
2) A couple of ducks
3) Three brown bears
4) Four horny hares
5) Five fat frolicking females
6) Six simple Simons sitting on a stump
7) Seven Sicilian sailors sailing on the seven seas
8) Eight egotistical egotist eagerly awaiting their egotistical ecstasies.
9) Nine nimble nymphs nibbling numbly on gnats, knuckles, and narcotics
10 Ten tumbling tumble weeds tumbling timberly through the timber.

To Drink is to LIVE.

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