Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Once upon a bottle

Before I tell my tale I wanted to share a little tid-bit of info for all of you onliners...;
The Number of Job Searches Buried By Digital Dirt Will Rise

As the popularity of social networking sites, blogs and online forums increase, a growing number of hiring managers will turn to Internet search engines in an attempt to gain a more complete picture of job seekers. In 2006, ExecuNet's exclusive research revealed that more than one-third (35%) of executive recruiters who used the Internet to research candidates eliminated someone from consideration based on information uncovered online — up from just 26% in 2005. Given the long shelf life of Internet content and the growing number of employers who are turning to the web to learn more about job candidates, ExecuNet predicts the number of job seekers who are prejudged or eliminated due to this "digital dirt" will climb even higher in 2007.

Now back to your originally scheduled program.....

There was this time in my life where I would drink to excess on a daily basis. I think it was due to the fact that I really love the taste of alcohol, and I enjoyed being drunk. I’m not sure what happened or when this fun stopped but I really don’t enjoy the drunk as much as I used to.

My first year in college…the first time around, it was 1985, in the fall. I was recovering from my very first set of knee surgeries, both a scope and a cutting, and I was on partial scholarship to play football.

I was drinking a 5th of Jack a night 3-4 nights a week. I drank so much Jack Daniels the rest of the team just called me JD. A nick name that lasted until I accidently started a race riot on campus.

Yes I know it sounds odd that me, the most tolerant of all people…with the one exception of stupid people and their enablers, would be the cause of a race riot. I’ll explain.

This college I was attending was a junior college in Independence Kansas aptly named ICC. There was, at the time 8 dorm buildings, 3 dorms per building 4 rooms per dorm, 2 people to a room…follow me so far? Roughly 200 people. So I was drunk, it was a Thursday night in the spring time early 1986. Most of the people that lived in these dorms were athletes, football, basketball, women’s basketball, volleyball, all of the big ones at that time. Most of these athletes were black. We were one big assed dysfunctional family. You never lost your girlfriend, you just lost your turn, it was a very surreal.
One of the favorite activities of any small college town is the fun little game townies VS students, and ICC wasn’t any different. The “townies” resented us because we were attending college and playing football and garnering favoritism from the city fathers. Yes I’m saying boosters were alive and well in ICC as a matter of fact I never paid for a single meal out on the town, whether it was at Pizza Hut, Braum’s Ice Cream, or the local diner “Eggberts”. It was nice to have perks like that, but there is the dark side to that equation. When the “townies” saw we never picked up a check, but we did pick up their girlfriends, they tended to get mad…fighting mad.
We were overly aggressive, young , kids playing a violent sport, we liked to mix it up on occasion. One of these occasions was the night of the “race riot”. I was in my dorm, I was getting antsy, I wanted to do one of three things, fight fuck or get drunk, or do all three which we referred to as the wheel. So putting the final touches on the first fifth of Jack, I was feeling pretty much no pain, and was looking to go out and attempt the wheel. As I stepped out of my dorm I was informed that one of the other dorms that was an all black dorm, was looking for a fight. Well that was all I needed to hear! 10-15 brutha’s looking for the same thing I was looking for, it would be a classic fight! We would either end up bruised and excited or in jail, or both. I strode over and walked into the dorm, I heard the men in one room as they played dominoes, so I walked in and promptly asked;
“So I heard ya’ll was looking for a fight”
It was a scene right out of Weird Science, the music stopped, the crowd got quiet, and 10 sets of eyes turned on me.


One of the smallest, yet angriest defensive backs we had on the team jumped off of the bed, and got up in my face and said ;

“what was that peckerwood?”
Still oblivious to the rage, and misunderstanding that was developing before me, and since I was drunk I repeated myself;

“So I heard ya’ll was looking for a fight”?

“we are now muthafucker! You jes stepped on yo dick asshole!”

“you heard me bitch”
It was then I realized I was about to get my stupid ass kicked and I tried to explain what I was really talking about.

““No wait, I don’t want to fight you…”
“Well too late muthafucker…”

And the little feller stepped into my personal space and instinct took over the use of my arms and the next thing I saw was little Mr. Wilcox flying through the air and banging his head on the light fixture that was mounted on the wall above the bed….5 feet above the bed…..shit, it was on.

The next thing I know there was more yelling and punching, and I was giving as good as I got then I was abruptly whisked outside. I didn’t know how that happened one minute I was in the brawl of a lifetime with 10 guys, and suddenly I was outside and couldn’t move my arms.

Hell I wasn’t sure where my arms were, I then realized that someone or something was holding them behind me, and that was not only confusing (Remember I was a little out of it and I am nor was I ever a small person), but it was also maddening. With a guttural roar I tried to break free and get back into the melee. Nothing doing. I had no idea who had a hold of me but they were on it! Suddenly this cat named Cochise (he was Indian…feathers not dots) jumped in front of me and started asking what the fuck did I think I was doing, I didn’t understand a word he was saying, I didn’t until he hit me, and I tried to explain myself, but the person or people holding my arms wouldn’t let go, so I was pretty well subdued, then Cochise got too close and I headbutted him in the face….did I mention I was young, dumb AND drunk?
Well the boys finally settled me down and I agreed to go into my dorm. It was then I saw who it was that was so handedly holding me back, I should have known, it was a guy named Bull who was more farm animal then he was human. He spent some time as a WWF wrestler after our stint at ICC, but he was one of the only people that had that kind of strength.
Well it took me a week of apologizing, and explaining and numerous losses at the dominoes tables before things were right with the dorm people again, and I stopped drinking Jack Daniels.

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