Monday, January 15, 2007

 

NICE ICE BABY!

Well the weekend is over and the Midwest is blanketed in at least an inch of ice. There are 300K people without power and it is below 20 degrees outside.

There are 300K fucking cold assed people out there. Thankfully I am not one of them. I only had to scrape that inch of ice off of my SUV….that sounds so dumb, but it isn’t a car really, and it sure the hell isn’t a truck, so what do you call it when you don’t want to sound like a complete douche?, any ay it took me 40 minutes to get the ice off the car enough so that I could see to drive.

And Drive I did right into traffic which is called traffic because “Fucking stupid people driving” is way to long, so they just call it traffic. Why do old people feel the need to wake up and drive in packs when it is crappy out? Why couldn’t you fucking elders get out and do what ever it is that you feel you need to do EVERY MONDAY MORNING DURING RUSH HOUR ON SUNDAY! What the fuck are you doing all day on Sunday? Fucking church only lasts an hour, stay off the roads before you get shot.
When I get elected President I will make it mandatory that if you are old and you are within 25 yards of an accident you can and will be sued because more than likely you had something to do with that accident. You were either not driving fast enough, or you left your blinker on for the last 23,899.4 miles, or you were weaving trying to focus on the car ahead of you between your godddamned cataracts.

New law- If you are between 60 and infinity, you are not allowed to drive between the hours of 5:30 am and 9am, AND 4:00pm and and 6pm...they call it rush hour for a reason! We are rushing to or from work!!

Stay fucking home until people paying for your social security get to fucking work.

How are you doing? I’m good, I woke up and rubbed one out, my new ride does infinitely better in the crappy weather then my old beater Chevy, my long underwear works very well, all is right with the world.

I know that most people didn’t think my Mini movie was as funny as I did, but I could watch that all day and giggle. I don’t know why that makes me laugh, but I think of it like Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart’s view on obscenity, (Paraphrased) “ I can’t define it but I know it when I see it”. So I watch and giggle, like a kindergartner looking at the JC Penny panty ads! (is that better ATM?).

Tonight Bouby and I have our inaugural dinner for the local chapter of the volunteer organization we belong to, I have a new hat that requires me to use my college degree so I’m pretty excited. Not that I don’t use some part of my college experience every day, but really how often are you asked to do 4 shots of Jager and head butt people for no reason?



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