Wednesday, January 03, 2007

 

May I have your Attention please!!

I would like to take this opportunity to announce my bid to run for President of the United States.

I feel that it is high time that we had someone in the White House that ISN’T connected to all of the other narcissistic, pork barrel, Tammany Hall Politicians that are polluting our freedoms and way of life.

My platform, will be based loosely on Darwinism with a chunk of common sense thrown in.
1. I feel that there is way too much money being spent on medical research. I blame the otherwise un-named over populationist party. If we keep curing all of the diseases we will continue to breed like the vermin that, we have proved the human race to be. So we must stop the researching the cures of the only predator that humans have. With out predators we will exhaust the worlds food supply and wars will be fought over the last kernel of corn. I will then funnel all of this money into education.
2. My education policy will be to pay the teachers what their worth and instill a year long school system. Since we can’t seem to keep a family together and the babies mommies and daddies can’t pay for these excess children’s day care, so they continue to run the streets and be bored, mischievous, and engaged in criminal activity, we will just make them learn all year long. Any student that cuts class repeatedly will be arrested and sent to the military school of his/her choice. Where the offending kid will spend the equivalent amount of time in the real army when the age of 18 hits. So if he is a wanker when he/she is 10 years of age, and gets sent to government sponsored military school, then he/she owes the Government 8 years of REAL military service, after graduation. Thus paying for the 8 years of education gained by not following the wishes of his/her parents and staying in public school. The regulations to become a teacher will be stricter. Since the pay is higher, we will have a background check, stress levels monitored, and the tenure program removed. When you lose the ability to teach effectively , you will no longer be a teacher.
3. We will make the entire nation a true free working society, whereas we will abolish the unions and instill a minimum wage system that rewards the educated and entrepreneur. No more free rides on the welfare teat! Children will no longer be an asset to the unwed, unwashed, money grubbing, lazy of America. We will have social programs but they will be based on working and education. If you need some help getting a better education so you can become an asset to society as a whole, we will help you. If however we find that you refuse to learn, or are mentally deficient, there will be opportunities for you in any of the menial jobs that are currently being done by people who can’t speak English.
4. Foreign policy…NONE. We will pull back all troops, and work on fixing America’s problems first. Our borders will be closed. I don’t think our forefathers would have been able to foresee the amount of people that are currently sneaking in and circumventing the law to become citizens of America. If the government of Mexico doesn’t stop training all of its workers to come to America, we will forcibly annex Mexico and start a literacy program so that we all speak American English.
5. There will be a flat tax put in place to keep the big corporations from using loopholes to not pay any taxes. That new tax base will be used to create a nationwide affordable train system, like in Japan. Not only cross country but in every city a mass transit system will be built and funded by the new tax base.
6. Drugs will be legalized AND taxed! People don’t NOT use drugs because they are illegal they don’t use them because they don’t want to. HOWEVER! If you are caught driving under the influence or running heavy machinery, or endangering the life of any other person, you will serve time at rehab/work farm. Our roads and highways will be kept clean by hordes of drunk drivers, who will forfeit their right to a job when they are caught driving under the influence.
There are more policies that I will be discussing but until then I need money to advertise my campaign. Please contact me if you would like to make a donation, or if you would like to help get me elected.

Thank you.



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