Thursday, December 14, 2006
It's my LEFT knee not my WEE knee!
Tomorrow I go under the knife.
I wish I could say it was for a penile extension, but it isn’t it is for the bum knee I have been living with like it was that annoying cousin or brother who comes to visit for the weekend and stays 15 years. Well ok he really only stayed for 3 months but the knee has been FUBAR for 15-20 years since the first time I fucked it up.
Never the less, I will be checking into the hospital tomorrow morning at 11:15am CST to have a strange nurse (I was going to say woman but then I remembered that there was too many male nurses out there who might take offense, hell I think he’ll take offense once he is shaving my knee region), anywho, they will be shaving me and giving me enough drugs to cripple a horse. I know this because when you have used pharmaceuticals to enjoy your daily grind or when you just like they way they tickle, it takes longer for you to go under.
Nurse; count backwards from 100
Regular non self medicating patient; 99, 98, 9zzzzzzzzzzz
My surgery:
Nurse; Count backwards from 100.
Me: …10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…Now what smarty pants? Got anything heavier? No? well, hand me my pants, I’ll get this party started.
Well I’m pretty sure that it won’t be that bad, I will try not to fight the feeling of sleepiness, I will embrace the drifting off and try to think of puppies, ice cream, and the fact that I just landed the $500K deal I have been working on for the last couple of months while cat herding!
So The Dr. has marked the right knee and has given me the go ahead for the surgery and I now have a large commission check to come home to….just in time to pay off some big Christmas debts.
Life is pretty good.
Then again it is always pretty good as long as you still breathe.
I wish I could say it was for a penile extension, but it isn’t it is for the bum knee I have been living with like it was that annoying cousin or brother who comes to visit for the weekend and stays 15 years. Well ok he really only stayed for 3 months but the knee has been FUBAR for 15-20 years since the first time I fucked it up.
Never the less, I will be checking into the hospital tomorrow morning at 11:15am CST to have a strange nurse (I was going to say woman but then I remembered that there was too many male nurses out there who might take offense, hell I think he’ll take offense once he is shaving my knee region), anywho, they will be shaving me and giving me enough drugs to cripple a horse. I know this because when you have used pharmaceuticals to enjoy your daily grind or when you just like they way they tickle, it takes longer for you to go under.
Nurse; count backwards from 100
Regular non self medicating patient; 99, 98, 9zzzzzzzzzzz
My surgery:
Nurse; Count backwards from 100.
Me: …10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…Now what smarty pants? Got anything heavier? No? well, hand me my pants, I’ll get this party started.
Well I’m pretty sure that it won’t be that bad, I will try not to fight the feeling of sleepiness, I will embrace the drifting off and try to think of puppies, ice cream, and the fact that I just landed the $500K deal I have been working on for the last couple of months while cat herding!
So The Dr. has marked the right knee and has given me the go ahead for the surgery and I now have a large commission check to come home to….just in time to pay off some big Christmas debts.
Life is pretty good.
Then again it is always pretty good as long as you still breathe.
