Monday, November 27, 2006



Ahh the sweet sound of silence.

The last couple of days…Wednesday through right this second, I have been 3 hours from anything electrically connecting except an old touch tone phone. Yes I went to the country, to my Dad’s house for some hunting, relaxation, extra sleep and to recharge my batteries from the last 90 days of extreme hell.

And you know what a trip to dad’s means…PUPPY PICTURES!!

So very cute!

I am ready to start my sales year finally, in December. What’s that? What have I been doing all year? Well let me see, I put together and ran a trade show exhibit from January-March, Started my post show follow up mailers and gift ideas, and SOMEONE needs my help making buttons for the first run of our Kiosks for the satellite radio people, so I lose 5 weeks making buttons. I then sit down and try to salvage any and all clients from the trade show, and whilst I’m doing this I notice my “pseudo” boss struggling under the weight of his own catastrophe known as the “Craftsman” project, and that started to suck my life away from May-August, and the Pseudo Boss QUITS at one of the most crucial parts of the event, and walks. (He later returns, acts like nothing happened and treats people just as poorly as he did before left me and the rest of the company hanging, and then when we fail to dance to his tune again, guess what?...YES he quits again!..Great piece of work with this guy…) So I get down to business in August trying to start some sort of sales routine before the end of the year, I train a new salesman, and my new Boss/Supervisor, both of whom have already quit, so I lost all of August and part of Sept, doing that little bit of charity, and THEN I get shanghaied into the 12 week hell that leads up to Thanksgiving, and my last four days of vacation.

So as you can see I need to start some sort of sales strategy in the next 30 days just so I can feel good about calling myself the VP of Sales, and not such lofty titles like; Saver of Asses, Cat Herder, Temp Wrangler, Project Manager, Fireman etc.etc.

I also have to write a review of something I have loathed in the last year, week, hour, for the Gasbag Review. Well I haven’t had time to watch anything but football, and all I have read was sales books, and motivational bullshit, so here is a review of the Oakland Raiders Football team for the first 10 weeks;

Oakland Raiders, my team since they were the most feared team in the NFL and earned every penalty they received with extreme prejudice. It was a great time being a kid and a Raiders fan…..the last 10 years?... Not so much.

The Raiders Offense is non-existent. PERIOD. The Quarterback is horrible, the O-line would work better if they all sat on the bench and made the defense count 5 Mississippi, before they rushed, Robert Gallery needs to be moved back to the Right Tackle spot, and who cares if the stupid left handed quarterback, can’t scramble well enough to get the fuck outta the way of some huge D-lineman.

The Raiders Defense - Unbelievable! They are the one shinning spot in an overall worthless season. Warren Sapp is having a Pro Bowl year, the 3 rookies in the defensive back field are doing their jobs like veterans. Like Pro Bowl Veterans.

Special Teams- They suck like a 2 dollar crack whore looking for a nickel rock. Having the best punter in the NFL just means that you have given your punter enough game time practices that he feels comfortable enough to kick it deep. Oh and a 250lb Pollack who can kick the football like Gus the Mule, won’t help you unless you can move the ball ACROSS the 50 yard line.

Coaches….C’Mon Art! You hired a guy to be your offensive coordinator who hasn’t been in the league for 12 years!! FUCKING 12 years!! Do you really believe that he has been creating offensive schemes in his off time so that he would be ready for when he got the call to come back? NO!! he was fishing! The game has changed so much since then that I have trouble keeping up with some of the schemes and I’m a student of the game! BAD choice Arthur.

Cheerleaders…Who cares? They are all just tramps who bother me when I’m trying to concentrate on the game.

Fans… Still the best.

So there you go, my Gasbag review of the first 10 weeks of Raider football. I know it is lame, but hey, I have been too busy to watch some shitsniffer movie or read some insane pile of crap novella.

OH By the way I got a new toy for one of my handguns.....

YES!! Now I can kill with impunity and at range!

I'm kidding about the impunity, I always have punity. But it does make my home defense system look very scary!

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