SMELLS LIKE BULLSHIT

I shut down production today at 3pm so I could go get my knee X-rayed.

Since my NEW knee Dr.’s radiology department doesn’t take my insurance I needed to go across town to an X-ray chop shop. And they took three pictures on my knee and sent me on my way with the films for my new Dr. and my appt which is scheduled for next Tuesday.

As we all know this knee of mine is no stranger to the knife or scope it has seen it a couple of times and it seems to make itself feel better after every time they cut on it. And since I have been in and out of the operating room and hospitals since I was a baby, I have been self taught at the art of reading my own X-rays.

So I have been peaking at my films for the last 15 mins.

I need a new knee.

My Knee is worn out, and I’m too young for a replacement. I have two areas of bone on bone contact and a whole joint full of arthritis.

When I was in high school I tore my Meniscus cartilage, they sewed it back to the bone, it was a cutting edge surgery and it allowed me to continue to play football at a minimum of college level, and would have carried me through to the pros had it not been for that pesky alcohol problem and falling off of the deck of a house and crushing 3 vertebrae and hairline fracturing 6 others. But that is a horse of a different color.

My knee has been good to me with the occasional “floater”, which is a piece of cartilage that has been chopped off and is floating around inside of my knee. Yeah I know gross.

So anyway I’m looking at possible surgery hopefully sooner than later, but I need to have someone besides me and a bottle of rum and a scalpel, get the pain to stop.

If I was older by 20 years I would get a groovy new knee where they take a hand saw and cut off the joint at both ends and then use a dead blow hammer to drive in the titanium pieces into the marrow of both ends of the leg and then snap them together with an audible click and place a fake knee cap on top like a cherry. And then they would repeat this every 10 years as I wear it out.

I wish I was older.

Fuck now I sound like I did when I was 14.

PS That is not my knee in the pic...I stole it.