Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Look Ma I'm an Idiot!!
Other things that I hate about air travel is when you exit the plane some jack ass is traveling somewhere that they haven’t been in an eon or two and the people picking them up feel the need to meet these people at the gate, at the exit, in the doorway. When people do this they tend to block traffic for as long as the hugging continues. And if the picking up party is more than 3 people the hugging lasts an extremely long time. I have some advice.
MOVE ASIDE BEFORE I STICK MY FOOT IN YOUR ASS!
It is simple really, if you are meeting your party and there is a normal size exit door, that allows only one person at a time through it DON’T STAND IN FRONT OF IT! Simple really. Yet apparently completely out of the fucking question.
Here is one more bitch, then I swear I’ll stop.
When you are waiting for your luggage to come out of the baggage claim carousal don’t stand right next to the carousal, there can only be one FIRST bag and the odds that it is yours are very very very slim. If everyone would stand a civilized 5-10 feet away from the carousal the people whose bags do come off first will be able to actually get them and GO HOME!! Instead of fighting their way through your 5 dirty stinking kids and grandpa who smells like he needs HIS diaper changed. Step back wait for your bag run fetch it and get the fuck out of the airport. Again very simple, and you’ll avoid getting a verbal punch to the ego from me.
We have TV cameras coming to the shop today to film us for an up coming show on one of those crazy jesse james, chopper, hotrod, cooking with dead animals, belly button lint sculpture reality shows. I’ll let you know when it airs, if it airs. It should be pretty funny since our CEO is like a complete ego maniac.
Here are some illustrations from my airport baggage claim complaints;
Here is a lady with Lion King Hair, I bet she is a big hit at kiddy parties. MUFASTA!!
And here is a weird foot. This is the second time in a week that I have noticed 2 different women with the two middle toes EXACTLY the same length. That is just weird.
MOVE ASIDE BEFORE I STICK MY FOOT IN YOUR ASS!
It is simple really, if you are meeting your party and there is a normal size exit door, that allows only one person at a time through it DON’T STAND IN FRONT OF IT! Simple really. Yet apparently completely out of the fucking question.
Here is one more bitch, then I swear I’ll stop.
When you are waiting for your luggage to come out of the baggage claim carousal don’t stand right next to the carousal, there can only be one FIRST bag and the odds that it is yours are very very very slim. If everyone would stand a civilized 5-10 feet away from the carousal the people whose bags do come off first will be able to actually get them and GO HOME!! Instead of fighting their way through your 5 dirty stinking kids and grandpa who smells like he needs HIS diaper changed. Step back wait for your bag run fetch it and get the fuck out of the airport. Again very simple, and you’ll avoid getting a verbal punch to the ego from me.
We have TV cameras coming to the shop today to film us for an up coming show on one of those crazy jesse james, chopper, hotrod, cooking with dead animals, belly button lint sculpture reality shows. I’ll let you know when it airs, if it airs. It should be pretty funny since our CEO is like a complete ego maniac.
Here are some illustrations from my airport baggage claim complaints;
Here is a lady with Lion King Hair, I bet she is a big hit at kiddy parties. MUFASTA!!
And here is a weird foot. This is the second time in a week that I have noticed 2 different women with the two middle toes EXACTLY the same length. That is just weird.
