Friday, May 05, 2006


WOW I FORGOT ........

Ok Here is a tale of working like a slave and getting a smallish bonus for all of my efforts and still not liking my job any more then a case of the clap.

Well I guess that wasn’t a very good tale no was it?

I have been putting in 12-14 hour days making buttons.

Dome buttons for a kiosk. We even invented an MP3 player , designed the cabinet, made the buttons, assembled them all….all 3000 of them right her in good old KCMO USA.

Did we remember to show our patriotism, and make sure they all had the “Made in America” sticker?


Were we smart enough to take advantage of 3000 pieces of advertising, and put a company sticker on each and everyone with a phone number or web site?


Did I think of this at kiosk number 2550?


Did my “superiors” think of it at all?


Did my company wide email make them look a little careless and silly?

Maybe…doubtful but maybe.

Anyway While I was stuck in hell with my button making friends I was subjected to bands you will never hear on the radio, and music that made me feel old. All of the tunes and singers sounded identical and I found myself saying things my dad said to me when I would play KISS and Iron Maiden, “What the hell is this I am listening to?”, ”When is this song over?” “Who the hell sings like this?”. “WHAT IS THAT FUCKING NOISE?”

So to break the monotonous noise of the next generation of Motzart, I told stories. Some of them sparked memories of stories that I need to retell and a couple that I haven’t thought of in years but are pretty funny….well funny if you like to laugh at other peoples pain…mainly mine but still funny.

Broken spines and college books:

It was about a 2 weeks after I broke my back and the tri-mester was just starting up and I was getting around in a wheelchair, not because I was in a body cast or anything too bad I was in a brace that made desks hard to near impossible to get in and out of, so it was easier to just drive around in a wheel chair.

I had given up a scholarship to attend a better non paying school with the hope of going to somewhere better than I would have if I would have stayed at the paying JC. So I felt somewhat entitled to free stuff, free stuff like ALL of my books and school supplies. And with my chair I had a mobile shopping/shoplifting device.

Here is how it would work, I would roll into the book store and get lost in the stacks and start looking for the books I needed, as I found them I would stand up and slip them under my ass. I would then roll over to the check out counter and buy some pens and a pack of gum, roll out and head to class fully loaded and ready for the semester.

I even went back and “bought” some books for my roommates and a severely discounted rates.

Here is the kicker, since I didn’t spend my book money on books, and I made money on a couple of friends, we partied like 80’s style rock stars for a week or so. And then at the end of the semester we returned our books for even MORE money! And partied again!! I loved college!

The reason it worked? Because as Americans we are taught to not stare at the handicapped and to be polite, also people didn’t know for sure if I could stand up or if I was paralyzed, …no one knew for sure what happened after the rumor mill got done with me.

It was like I was a prism. I would bend light so I was invisible. It was a very lucrative semester.




More then likely…

Was it fun to stick it to the man while I could do it with out spending the rest of my life in jail?


Do like Jimmy Buffett says and:
“…So every now and then when I'm in a grocery
I'll take a little but not much
'Cause you never know when the hard times will hit ya
And I don't want to lose my touch.”

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