Thursday, May 25, 2006


The Second Coming of Christ

Maybe David Blain is the second coming of Jesus.

David Blain could be the son of God (if that is who you choose to believe in). I am serious here, let’s recap all of Jesus’ miracles;

Walk on water
Healed the sick
Turned water into wine
Died for the sins of mankind

Ok so David Blain just did this on his TV show last night;

Filled and sealed an empty AND crushed beer can with BEER! He does this again with a empty Coca Cola can.
Stood on a 100’ pillar for 35 hours, then jumped into a bunch of cardboard boxes
Made a wine glass shatter with his mind
Reached through a plate glass window to get a woman’s watch back that he stole off of her wrist.
Hammers a nail all the way through a board with his bare hand. (ironic huh?)
A young boy's fear of snakes is overcome by him(David/Jesus) eating a small snake and it reappearing in the boy's backpack.
Made a dead fly come back to life in the hands of a cop.

Seriously what if this is the missing parts of the bible. We have no idea what Jesus did from about 12-35 years of age. Maybe he spent those years doing “magic”! fooling people with his “miracles” and doing sleight of hand to entertain the masses. I mean it all kind of fits, he had a gift and he used it to make something besides chairs. They SAY he was a carpenter, but maybe they were just too scared to say he was a street performer. And the people started to write stories about his exploits, (Because they didn’t have TV) and word gets around, he gets called to all of the big parties and hundreds of people start showing up and when he can’t make it the Pharaohs get all angry and have him sentenced. Judas was his manager, and told them where his gig was so they could go pick him up. Then they told him to do some real magic and “miracle” his ass off the cross.

Naturally he couldn’t.

BUT!! They always said he was going to come back and I think he has and he is repeating the past. Doing tricks for the masses, and if he ever gets hooked up with Tom Cruise he could be made into the next son of God. And William Kalush is his Judas

It is about time.

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