Monday, April 03, 2006
weekend pain
Ahh what a lovely weekend. Friday was great, we sat around and drank copious amounts of alcohol, I cleaned up my computer’s hard drive, removing some really nasty malware and rendering it into a beautiful 5 pound paperweight.
I personally would like to meet the inventor of this type of spyware and throw him/her a painful cross body block rendering them as helpless as all of the computers that they have infected over the last 10 years.
I don’t know why people like to attach shit to something they are trying to sell me. Do they really think that will make me buy the fucking software, once I figure out that they have a penchant of attaching stuff to their fucking program??!!
I can’t even say this was porn, or even nudie pics, it was a stupid trial version of some bullshit software that I hated, so when I tried to remove the install exe file from my drive, it said NO!! and so I rebooted in safe mode and lo and behold it deleted easy as pie. I then rebooted in normal fashion and continued to do a system clean up and a defrag and then I rebooted and got the error message that I was missing my\hal.dll file and nothing works without that fucking file!!!! (like the extraneous use of exclamation points?)
Since Windows fucking XP doesn’t use DOS and I bought this laptop used from my boss who has yet to give me the fucking start up discs I am forced to pull my hard drive and connect it to a desktop as a slave drive and insert the file in the correct file that way. Which wouldn’t be a problem if I really owned one of those ribbon cables…but I don’t. I do know someone who has one but unfortunately he doesn’t check his messages on his cell phone and since that is the only number I have in my cell phone, he didn’t get the message to bring his ribbon cable to work today.
So I will not be able to even attempt to make my laptop functional again until tomorrow.
Fucking malware creators. I swear if I am ever in a bar or restaurant or subway hell even in church or day care and I hear someone say they do this type of writing I will rip their arms out of their sockets and beat them to death with the wet end. I think it will go something like this;
Software guy: So anyway I was attaching this really nasty file to some Barbie games that people download for their kids and it works so well messes up the whole system unless they buy the software, then it just monitors their online spending…it is so righteous!!
Me; Excuse me did I overhear you say you write malware?
Software guy; Yeah it is some sweet stuff too I ca…OW JESUS CHRIST HE IS RIPPING MY ARMS OFF! HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST STOP! SOMEONE HELP ME!!
Me; SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BITCH TAKE IT LIKE YOU WANT IT!
Software guy; OW SWEET BILL FUCKING GATES PLEASE STOP THE PAIN, OH SHIT NOT THE WET END!! HELP ME PLEASE! RIP OFF MY PENIS INSTEAD I CAN’T WRITE CODE WITH THAT! I NEED MY ARMS!
Me; WHY WOULD I WANT YOUR TINY UNUSED DICK? YOU CREEPY “SO WHITE YOU’RE CLEAR” SOFTWARE CUM GUZZLER?
Software guy; OH PLEASE MAKE HIM STOP!!
Nun Passing by; GOOD LORD!! What are you doing?
Me; Well this ass clown wrote some nasty spy ware that fucks up your whole computer system!!
Nun Passing by: OH well then let me help…TAKE THAT YOU HACKING COCK SLAVE! (as the nun jams the severed arm up his ass)
There isn’t a court in the land that would convict me.
Not even Jesus.
I personally would like to meet the inventor of this type of spyware and throw him/her a painful cross body block rendering them as helpless as all of the computers that they have infected over the last 10 years.
I don’t know why people like to attach shit to something they are trying to sell me. Do they really think that will make me buy the fucking software, once I figure out that they have a penchant of attaching stuff to their fucking program??!!
I can’t even say this was porn, or even nudie pics, it was a stupid trial version of some bullshit software that I hated, so when I tried to remove the install exe file from my drive, it said NO!! and so I rebooted in safe mode and lo and behold it deleted easy as pie. I then rebooted in normal fashion and continued to do a system clean up and a defrag and then I rebooted and got the error message that I was missing my
Since Windows fucking XP doesn’t use DOS and I bought this laptop used from my boss who has yet to give me the fucking start up discs I am forced to pull my hard drive and connect it to a desktop as a slave drive and insert the file in the correct file that way. Which wouldn’t be a problem if I really owned one of those ribbon cables…but I don’t. I do know someone who has one but unfortunately he doesn’t check his messages on his cell phone and since that is the only number I have in my cell phone, he didn’t get the message to bring his ribbon cable to work today.
So I will not be able to even attempt to make my laptop functional again until tomorrow.
Fucking malware creators. I swear if I am ever in a bar or restaurant or subway hell even in church or day care and I hear someone say they do this type of writing I will rip their arms out of their sockets and beat them to death with the wet end. I think it will go something like this;
Software guy: So anyway I was attaching this really nasty file to some Barbie games that people download for their kids and it works so well messes up the whole system unless they buy the software, then it just monitors their online spending…it is so righteous!!
Me; Excuse me did I overhear you say you write malware?
Software guy; Yeah it is some sweet stuff too I ca…OW JESUS CHRIST HE IS RIPPING MY ARMS OFF! HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST STOP! SOMEONE HELP ME!!
Me; SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BITCH TAKE IT LIKE YOU WANT IT!
Software guy; OW SWEET BILL FUCKING GATES PLEASE STOP THE PAIN, OH SHIT NOT THE WET END!! HELP ME PLEASE! RIP OFF MY PENIS INSTEAD I CAN’T WRITE CODE WITH THAT! I NEED MY ARMS!
Me; WHY WOULD I WANT YOUR TINY UNUSED DICK? YOU CREEPY “SO WHITE YOU’RE CLEAR” SOFTWARE CUM GUZZLER?
Software guy; OH PLEASE MAKE HIM STOP!!
Nun Passing by; GOOD LORD!! What are you doing?
Me; Well this ass clown wrote some nasty spy ware that fucks up your whole computer system!!
Nun Passing by: OH well then let me help…TAKE THAT YOU HACKING COCK SLAVE! (as the nun jams the severed arm up his ass)
There isn’t a court in the land that would convict me.
Not even Jesus.
