Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Turkeys 2, Nightmare 0;

Wow, what a weekend.

I got to see an Uncle I haven’t seen in years, I went turkey hunting, didn’t get one so all of you anti-meaties, and don’t kill animal types can unclench your ass cheeks, and I got to relax and sit still. Hell we even had family nap time on Saturday…it was beautiful.

We got back to KC yesterday and Bouby immediately went it to clean and put away mode where as I went into sit down and be thankful we are done driving for a while mode. When she was finally done with all of her nonsense we decided that the bunnies had grown enough to be turned back into the wild. We made sure that we hadn’t handled them much so that they wouldn’t be so domesticated that they wouldn’t be able to live outside of the cage.

We had decided to let them loose at a nearby park so that they wouldn’t be mauled by the neighborhood dogs. It turned out to be a dicey decision. I caught the little bastards and surprisingly enough I didn’t get bit or scratched. We jammed them into a Tommy Hilfiger shoe box and hopped in the car. We got to the designated park and walked down the trail next to the creek, looking for a nice shady spot to release the bunnies. We got to a spot and I opened the box.

Let me back up a bit. One of the rabbits, the second one, we called “Tippy” Tippy, was a little left of center. We couldn’t find anything wrong with him but his head was always turned to the side like he wanted to see the ground with his left eye and the sky with the right one. We were told that he might have had a neurological disorder and that he might be best used as snake food….so he wouldn’t suffer.

Well we couldn’t feed the poor little feller to a snake, regardless of how cool it may have been, so we just kept feeding him and seeing if he would get bigger/better. Well he did…..sort of. We kept walking in and catching him looking normal and as soon as he saw us he would tip over and start spinning and looking at the ground/sky….so we figured he was faking it. Pretending to be a retard to avoid conflict…I know the type.

So back at the park, I open the box and dump Tippy and Straight up into the grass and as I suspected Straight up heads to the woods at a blistering pace, gone but never forgotten. Tippy on the other hand was a different story. He tumbled out into the grass and was a little disorientated. He tried to run and it was more of a lazy counter clockwise circle. All the way around me and Bouby, and then right off the creek bank to land smack dab in the water 12 feet below us.

We rushed over to the edge and watched the little retard swim and swim looking for a decent portage to put in at. I was almost headed down there when I saw that he had made it to a low spot in the bank and was doing fine.

Well as fine as a soaking wet retarded bunny can be anyway.

So today is the last day of my “vacation” and I hope that I get to play some golf…we’ll see if the weather holds up.

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