Wednesday, December 28, 2005


Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

This funny little blog o’mine has taken a turn for the serious over the last couple of weeks and I’m sure anyone who puts in the time to read my rantings is probably pretty disappointed that I have been so unfunny….not that I was all that fucking funny to begin with but hey I make my self crack up and that is the important part right?

So yesterday was a very enlightening day for me. One of my co-workers called in and needed me to track a package for her and when I asked “How was Christmas?” I got the reply “Crappy”

So naturally I needed to find out why it was so crappy, and come to find out my co-worker had a heart attack on Christmas morning. She is 45. It was a mild heart attack, and she caught the trauma early but she did say it was a nice little wake up call!! So I too used it as a wake up call and went home after work and rearranged my garage for better work out space. I do not want to end up dead nor in a home because it takes a team of the worlds strongest man-nurses to pick my big ass up and carry me to the shitter or shower.

I’m going to lose 50-80 lbs this year and keep it off. Since it isn’t a new year yet I can make this resolution without the fear of breaking it. That new years resolution will probably be more like “I’m giving up rum” or “ I’m giving up masturbation in the shower” you know things that you think are a good idea but in reality you know damn well it isn’t going to happen.

I also learned that there really are people out in the real world that care about how you are treated in the waning years of your life.

G-pa went to see a new cancer Doc yesterday and he was informed that the hospital or more to the point the insurance company should have never kicked his ass out and forced him into a nursing home., or as I like to call it a non nursing home. Apparently when he was in the Dr’s office and was getting his “check up” they discovered that he was 3-4 pints low in his blood count and that he had NUMOROUS other problems that would have killed him much faster then the cancer he has been fighting for the last 10+ years.

His veins were basically collapsed and the nurse tried unsuccessfully to get an IV in him for over 6 hours. The reason was because there was hardly any blood left in his veins, and they have no idea where it is going. This would explain his weakness, lethargy, and dementia. All of these symptoms were there before he was put into the home but they were mild and no one caught them. Since he was recovering from congestive heart failure, they attributed all of those symptoms to that and not to something else. 9 days later he is back into the hospital where his new Cancer Dr is promising that he will not leave him dangling in the breeze and that he has a reputation for “finding” ways to make sure that G-pa will not leave the hospital until he is strong enough to do it on his own.

So this morning he is having a EDG, which is the invasive “scope down the throat” procedure so they can hopefully find out why and where all of his blood is going. Personally I think it was his creepy roommate in the home that was more then likely a vampire. He was fucking weird I tell you.
I also have been a witness to one of the institutions that is no longer prevalent in today’s society. Love. True honest to god unconditional love. G-ma has been married to G-pa for going on 60 years.

Sit back and think on that for a second.
60 years.
Look at all of the shit that has happened while these two love birds have been making their nest. It is amazing to think that there is still love like that out there. A love so strong that you can stand by the side of your partners bed and talk about the disease that is taking his life as if it was another person in the room and to tell each other that it was a good run and that he had beat it the one time. Like you are a boxer and a manager and the cancer is your nemesis. You got the first TKO, but for some reason he wanted a rematch and this time he laid the wammy on you.

I hope that all of you married people out there find a way to make it last for 60 years or better.

So to recap;

1. Co-worker had a heart attack
2. G-pa was almost killed by inattentiveness
3. My fat ass is going to lose weight.
4. true love does last an eternity

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