Wednesday, November 23, 2005
The fucking holidays are upon us yet again.
Smell that? That is sarcasm.
I don’t know why coordinating family functions are so fucking hard to do. I mean really, here is all you need; time, place, what to bring. And that is fucking it! If there is a conflict it needs to be resolved in a mature manner. I don’t care if you have been going to great aunt queef’s house since Jesus was a baby, if you have gotten married, or are in a relationship that is mature enough to spend time with your significant others family then there needs to be a compromise. Either you spend Thanksgiving with theirs and Christmas with yours or vice a versa, either way will work.
What doesn’t work is last minute changes or complete absurd ideas of what NEEDS to happen. Here is a good example. Family, and extended family generally don’t give a fuck where they meet and eat. As long as there is enough chairs and tables, and maybe the all important TV to catch the football games, they could careless if it is in a barn, out in a field or in your house that may or may not be as clean as the Brady’s place on TV but SO FUCKING WHAT!! The holidays are about people not things. My mother was like that for the longest time and then she realized that I was right ( Like most people should) and forgot all about things and started to love the people.
I know this is going to be a new concept to those rich yuppie cocksuckers who serve their dinner on the good silver platter, and eat with the silver that came over on the Mayflower, and to them I say FUCK RIGHT THE FUCK OFF! I’m mean really how much thanks do you have to give for a meal that you did nothing to help make? Hell you probably did nothing more then provide the money to buy the fucking thing. And your staff did the rest. WHOOP-A-DEE-DOO! Now get the fuck off of my planet.
We had everything planned. I was cooking the whole dinner and then Bouby and I were to transport it over to G-ma’s so G-pa wouldn’t have to get out and about. Then some how (I don’t want to point fingers, and I won’t) it got so fucked up in the last 3 days that we are now supposed to spend Thanksgiving dinner at the “Hometown Buffet” .
So we are boycotting that and spending most of the day on the road and then dessert at the G-parents place after they dump the rest of the herd.
Or I we could sneak over to the gay brothers place and have a rainbow thanksgiving, but that is mainly a liquid lunch and watching boys kiss each other, which is like masturbating with a cheese grater….mildly amusing but mostly painful.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!