Thursday, August 11, 2005


Rage and stuff

Last night when I got home all fucking hot and sweaty because it was 1000 degrees outside and my fully UN-restored 1976 Chevy pickup has no A/C, I found Bouby on the couch and PISSED OFF!

At first I was thinking she found my stash of porn but then I remembered she already knows where that is and encourages the use of it. *Wink wink nudge nudge *, So I was the dutiful boyfriend and I ask what the dealio was. She tells me that we have some work to do tonight to make our home in compliance to city ordinances.

I was confused.

“What city ordinances are we violating? (I knew that it might be our “compost pile” in the back yard that consists of a large amount of soon to be fire wood, but fuck that shit is outta sight!)

“We have to move our trash cans”


“The trash cans cannot be in front of the line of the building. As of a law passed a year ago”

“So we have to move our trash cans, well ok…I guess. We’ll get that done this weekend I’m tired, my fucking knee is swelled up like a grapefruit, and I need to sit down”


“What do you mean no?”

“The letter says it HAS to be done by the 12th.”

“But it is the 10th, why do we not get 30 days to fix this shit like all of the other ordinances?”

She doesn’t know but now I’m PISSED. My relaxing time at home starring longingly into my Bouby’s eyes is going to be interrupted by some fucking manual labor. So we devise a plan, and she, makes me wait a couple of hours to let it cool off a little bit. We will just clean off a spot on the side of the house BEHIND the line of the building and coincidentally behind a small bush, level it off, and put down paver stones to make a “trash platform”

The part that really pisses me off is if the trashcans couldn’t have been seen that easily from the road where they sat. See we have a 8’ brick retaining wall that holds the stairs up to the front door and they sat next to that. And since we have a privacy hedge and usually my truck in the driveway they really are semi invisible. But I guess semi isn’t good enough.

Personally I think the cunt across the street from us called it in. She is a GIANT fat cow and we hate her, and her skank ass daughter, who by the way is also a fat girl who thinks it is sexy to wear the small shirts and low rise jeans so her huge-normous belly flops around over the top of her pants. AND she talks loudly on her cell phone while sitting on the front steps, loud enough for us to follow the conversation FROM ACROSS THE STREET!

Anyway we hate them.

So we went to check up on the G-parents house cause they are elsewhere right now, and stopped at Home Depot to get some fucking pavers,

The job didn’t take very long but is was so hot I thought I was going to melt. I had runnels of sweat pouring off of my back like a fire hose. I couldn’t sit on the furniture when we were done because my shorts looked like I wore them swimming. I sweat a lot. I can break a sweat standing in a walk in freezer in the middle of Greenland in winter! So 98 degrees with 80% humidity makes me look like a walking drip irrigation system.

But I also heard back from my big client in the Pacific Northwest, and we are still in the game, so even though we fucked up my client base last week there is a chance that we can still land this much more lucrative client and the bothersome asspipes who are mad at us can tongue my taint!

Anyway there is my anger angst filled yesterday capped off with a big fucking cherry.

Does anyone need a good manager/lackey/bartender who can lift heavy things and talk people out of their money? I’m available.

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