Monday, August 01, 2005


Baby Brothers

The weekend was is what went down:
Friday-bartended a private party
Saturday-Spent birthday loading a pod for younger brother to move all of his "wealth"(crap he will never need) and his Girlfriends beautiful furniture, so when they get set up in Boston, they will be surrounded by their things.
Sunday-Costco, Kohels, Home Depot, mowed grass, trimmed bushes, fixed window in truck(Bouby did this because my stupid paws don't fit inside the door, THANK YOU BOUBY!!) cut limbs away from power lines and stupid neighbors overhanging trees that could easily crush fence and houses.
Sunday Night-Slept like a rock, very tired monkey.

But during the packing and yard work I rememberd my baby brother and some of the stories of our trouble making past. The first time I took him to a high school party, and he got so drunk I had to bounce him off a garage wall to get him to pay attention, and then he puked in my car, out of my car and near my car for a good 200 feet. He had a lot of beer to drink.

Or the time that we drove back from California and stopped in Estes park to visit a friend of his. She was working at the YMCA/YWCA youth camp there and we were just going to spend the night and get drunk and see if we could pick up on some councilors, and we ended up staying until the next afternoon while she quit her job, packed her shit and jumped into the car with us to go back to Manhattan KS.

On a different trip but this time on the way to California, we stopped in Pueblo CO this time to meet another girlfriend of his....yes he was quite the whore and all of this before the advent of the internet as we know it. Anyway the un part of this trip was the motel room we destoyed. Yes for one night we WERE Ozzy Osbourne!!

It all started with a check into a nice motel, and myself writing down the wrong licsense plate number. I didn't do it on purpose, but I did take advatage of the mistake. We immediatly got a case of beer and took a quick tour of the facility. We found the bar. It had a two person band playing. They were the worst motel bar band we had ever heard, but they were still kind of fun. We bellied up to the bar and started drinking boiler makers and pitcher after pitcher of beer. It was a little while later that we both had to pee. Here is where the RZock Star partying starts.

We both went into the restroom near the bar and I took a urinal that had one of those seperating walls bolted near it, and I had one hand on the top of this wall steadying myself with it. I noticed it wasn't the most stable of seperating walls, so I folded it over onto the urinal. Now this in itself was funny to us because well we were extremly drunk and young and very stupid. Have I mentioned I was pretty big back then too? I was still playing college football and I had entirely too much testrone coursing through my feeble young mind. SO if this wan't enough when I did the folding it caused some sort of weird chain reaction and the 4'X 8'1/4" glass mirror slipped off of the wall in two peices and then proceeded to shatter on the mens room floor. I looked up just in time to see the door jerk open and the contents of the bar stood out there wondering what the fuck just happened.

As big and dumb as I was I still thought pretty quicly on my feet. I looked up at those people standing there and I started shouting about how I was just standing there taking a piss and the mirror fell right off of the wall and it could have cut my dick right off and what the fuck kind of place could this possibly be where the construction was so shoddy that a man could lose his penis in a bizzar mirror accident in the mens room by the bar! I said that I had had enough and we were out of there!!

"J" and I walked as steady as we could by the silent crowd and straight towards the door to the outside. Glancing over my shoulder I saw no one was watching so we ducked up the stairs and ran to our rooms where we sat in the dark and quiet for 1/2 an hour. We were expecting some sort of retribution, and when none came we decided the coast was clear and continued to party. we had the most of a case lefty and the room was our playground. After I broke both bed frames by jumping on them and tossing the smoke detector out the window (makeshift frisbee), and one of my shoes (also a frisbee, worked less then the smoke alarm) we finally passed out.

The next morning we were late checking out and they didn't say a word nor did they ever send us a bill.

Of course if I saw a couple of kids fucking up like that nowadays I would throw them the beating of the week and make sure their parents knew what they did. With age comes wisdom.

Anyway it is memories like that that I send my younger brother to the East coast and straight in to bean town. I love you Pugo be safe and stay in touch.

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