SMELLS LIKE BULLSHIT

Ok I got an early Birthday present from my overly cool younger brother. He gave me his inspiration, his will to change jobs his new lease on life…yes that’s right he gave me his used Roomba Robotic Vacuum! (Remember it was this gadget that let him remember his passion for robotics and sent him far enough to the edge so he could send them a resume and consequentially be hired by Irobot) So I get to have my very own robotic vacuum, we watched it “work” most of the night last night while I was finishing up a proposal, I have to say this so he doesn’t think I was slacking off and not helping him pack, which I hate, I don’t mind the moving heavy things I just don’t want to put other peoples shit in boxes for them. I will be back out there tomorrow morning to help load all of his shit into a pod. Should take all day…on my fucking birthday.

At least this year I will remember it. One year I was helping on the farm and completely forgot what day it was until we were in the middle of the field cutting tall stalks. Worst of all NONE of my family remembered either.

Fucking middle child syndrome.

So anyway here is an email I wrote to my brother last night after we decided to see how the dogs reacted to their new live in robot. I think we’ll call her Rosie ala Jetson’s.

7/28/06 8:46pm
1st, thank you again for the wonderful birthday gift we love it. Now I wish I had a couple of skittish dogs that were at least a little bothered by this thing...well one is..let me tell you a story.

The roomba is running in the kitchen for the second pass and this time we decided to see what the dogs were going to do with a robot vacuum milling about the area sucking and what not. Well the Jade (big dumb rotti) freaks and starts sniffing and looking like she is going to eat this thing and Cinnamon is basically indifferent. Jade then barks at it and Cinny decides it is of no danger what so ever and decides she doesn't even need to move when it comes by. So naturally it sucks up her giant fluffy tail and she just sits there with a whinny robot vacuum stuck to her ass. Unbelievable!
She was actually too lazy to get out of its way. Thank god we were still laughing at the stupid machine so we could rescue it from the stupid lazy dog ass.

How fucking funny is that? I tell you they really are the embodiment of “Dumb and Dumber”


Tonight I took a job bartending for 4 hours at a friend of mines Spa. She is the wife of a Co-Worker and I just love them to death and I would do the job for nothing, but they insist I be paid for pouring wine and handing out beers. Not unlike the job I had at the ski resort, but on a much grander scale. This spa is one of the BEST spa’s in KC and all of the wealthy old blue hairs pay 60-250.00 bucks for a haircut, and they offer a full day of beauty, massage, steam, facial, wraps, haircut, color, all of the usual shit so I might be getting product and service for a paycheck. Even though I tried to get money out for lunch this morning and I can’t even get 10 bucks out.

I fucking hate being poor.

I swear if I could Talk Bouby into moving into a shack in the woods where I could write my manifesto and live off of the land I would sell everything and become a family of hermits. Or more like a family like Swiss Family Robinson, except I would want to do this where it was warm….so maybe we should just become Mexicans.

Well if we did that we wouldn’t be poor because we would win the California lottery, I think it is a state law out there that a Mexican HAS to win the lottery. Besides I like the way my name sounds in Spanish… Pesadilla. It is almost like Quesadilla, which we all know is a tasty cheese filled tortilla sandwich.

Los olores tienen gusto de la mierda de Bull