Monday, June 27, 2005
I moved..and 5 Things I don't get...
Ok Pete tagged me on this excercise and I will try and not get to far off of the beaten path with my ranting.
1) I don’t get why there is traffic. Why don’t more people loose their fears or stay at home! The fucking little old bats behind the wheel during rush hours in the left lane AKA the fast lane doing 10-15 miles an hour below the speed limit, why isn’t there a law in place that gives me the right NAY,,,the pleasure of pushing these retarded AARP crusty fucks off of my highways and by-ways? Please for the love of god stop me before I kill again. This is why there are no cars in Japan, they respect their old people enough to not let them get behind a wheel of a car.
2) What is the deal with traffic circles? I fucking hate these round about wheels of death. I was on the air in Manhattan KS, when the town fathers decided to put 3 of these fucking things in. so I moved to California. Ok not the only reason but it was a good enough one for me to not move back there and to take up residence in KC. These ass hammers didn’t even put them in logical places, one was on a residential street that was so narrow that the students who lived on that street couldn’t get moving trucks in or out so they could move away from college. The fucking fire trucks in Manhapenis KS had standing orders to drive over the top of the these things fucking up the 1000’s of dollars of landscaping they insisted in putting in because they were to fucking big to make the turn. Personally I don’t want to watch all of my shit and possibly all of my neighbors shit go up in flames because some asshat wants to appear more fucking European! Stupid cocksuckers!!
3) I don’t get spending any amount of money on ANY 4 cylinder car to make it sound like a margarita blender with a stuck blade. Anyone who watches Fast and Furious and thinks “wow that is so cool, I want to look like a dork and make my car run the ¼ mile in 10 seconds is dumber then both movies put together. You might as well race skateboards! My 72 Plymouth Satellite 4 DOOR!! Could turn a 12 second ¼ and that was with no additions to the car except 50 lbs of old McDonalds hamburger wrappers in the back seat. (That was back when they had that absurd deal where hamburgers were like .20 ea, and Me and “C” decided to see how full we could get my back seat) But anyway, you noisy cricket car driving dork squads, are wasting my oxygen, get off of my planet! Your civic will never be ass cool as a true muscle car straight outta Detroit!
4)I don’t know where they find these people for reality TV. It has gone the way of Jerry Springer. For fucks sake people! If I have to see one more fucktard break down crying because someone was mean and hurtful to them while they are trying to take a shortcut to greater wealth and happiness, I will go on a tri-state killing spree! It pisses me off to see my quality Gilmore Girls TV programming sucked up by some inane contest to see who can fuck over the other guy better/longer/dumber and than that person gets rewarded. You want reality fucking TV send a camera crew to my Dad’s house and watch a 73 yr old man run a puppy mill because his social security check doesn’t cover his bills, and his medicade is getting cut back because he is as healthy as a horse. Fuck all of those people trying to beat the system with a get rich quick, so I’ll make an ass out of myself on TV for 6-12 weeks. Just play the lottery if you want to get rich quick at least this way our schools and Veterans get a little something from the state kick backs.
5) Organized religion. Do I really need to go here? Sheep being lead by the nose to the slaughter house by a wolf in cheap clothing. I make no apologies for my opinions, I know that I am the minority here, but really if you need someone to tell you to behave or he’ll fucking spank you and send your internal being to hell for eternity, you are a sheep. I’m sorry I just don’t think that that is that way it is supposed to go down. Use the bible as a guide and not a way of life and you will be more happy. And if you are using the bible as a way of life, stop forcing your beliefs on others. Just because not everyone has interpreted that book in the same way you have. Remember the Spanish Inquisition was not a nice walk in the park discussing theology.
Now if they will participate:
GB at Death’s Door
Ruksack…I know he generally doesn’t go in for this kind of tomfoolery but I would like to know more about his persona via what drives him loopy!